The Fine Art Of Small Talk: How to Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills – and Leave a Positive Impression!

by Debra Fine

When you prepare to depart a conversation, recall why you originally connected with your conversation partner and bring the conversation back to that topic.

That well-known adage “honesty is the best policy” is really true.

If he found himself talking to someone he wished to escape, he politely excused himself by saying he had to deliver the other drink.

You can invoke your partner’s help in exiting by getting a referral or asking for business.

Don’t invent a problem just to end a conversation.

Don’t hesitate to ask for business or referrals as you take your leave from a conversation.

Do you know anyone here who’s also new to this area?

Realize that if you get turned down, it’s not a statement about you—the other person doesn’t know you well enough to draw any conclusions about you.

Can we arrange to meet later?

The great way of asking questions like that is give another person to gracefully decline offer. This kind of question doesn't seem to allow another person to reject you without feeling bad about it.

Here’s a cheat sheet full of tips to review before any event, occasion, interview, or date.

Accept a person’s right to be an individual with different ideas and beliefs.

The ability to talk easily with anyone is a learned skill, not a personality trait.

Remember, people want to be with people who make them feel special, not people who are “special.”

You enter a roomful of people. All of them seem to be happily engaged in conversation with someone else. You start to worry that others are going to judge you and find you lacking. You steel yourself for rejection. You almost turn and decide it’s not worth it to attend this event.

Don’t think of what you’re doing as “singles” socializing. Just think of it as networking. You have something to offer others, and they have something to offer you: connection to humanity.

Self-confidence is probably the single most powerful magnet, right after good looks.

Really depends on what other people are looking for. Sometimes not confident person and awkwardly looking attract better, as far as looks vulnerable.

It’s always easiest to break the ice with a few observations about the situation, rather than asking for personal information.

As she’s responding, think about how to comment on what she’s saying, rather than on your next question.

What do you do when there is not a response to the follow-up comment or disclosure? Use one of the follow-up questions that you formulated and patiently kept around in your head.

I personally know only one man, either single or married, who thinks shopping would be a fun date.

Another piece of advice offered by my eighteen-year-old son that makes sense: Don’t plan a movie/theatre date for the first few dates. Interaction is key to getting to know each other.

“Never stay too serious too long.”