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They owned a home together. They worked together. They had a dog together. This wasn’t just another new relationship. This was the relationship. This was it. She was it.
He gave her a once-over. “You’re hot.” Nick slapped Carlo upside the head. “Stop hitting on my girl.” Carlo slapped him back. “Fish’s gotta swim.” “Go swim your ass through my pipes.”
“Is this a good surprise?” Gabe asked with suspicion. “It better be. I want to do something completely out of character.” “You wish to become well-mannered and charming?” Gabe’s insult game was strong in the morning. Nick didn’t care for it.
“If you don’t step aside right now, Patel, I’ll cut your bangs.” All the women in the room gasped together.
“You’re not a terrible person. You’re just human. Griffin has the ability to bring out the absolute worst in everyone. And if your worst only involves a pickle jar prank, I think you’re still pretty wonderful.” “I have never wished ill will upon someone before. However, I cannot help but hope chronic constipation will haunt him for the rest of his life,” he confessed. “Me too, big guy. Me too.”
“You know, the more time you spend with us, the meaner you get. And the meaner you get, the less I hate you,” Nick said. “I believe you just complimented me,” Gabe said.
“Listen, Hector, I’m getting my shit together so I can propose to my girl. But if I weren’t already in a committed relationship and straight, I’d ask you to marry me right now,”
Pffftttt i wasnt expecting that
Griffin appeared, carrying a spoon of what looked like straight mayonnaise. He slurped it up like it was soup. Brian gagged.
Disgusting
“Talk to my girlfriend like that again, and I’ll remove your face and give you a colonoscopy with it,” Nick warned.
“I don’t have head trauma, and I’m not overreacting to yet another criminal fiasco. I want you as my wife. My partner. You’re it for me. And I know I should have found a better way to do this, like with champagne and flowers and maybe a fucking violin. But this is us. Messy. Complicated. Slightly injured. Standing in the middle of yet another crime scene together after saving the day. So say yes. Marry me.”
