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To the chronic apologizers: let that shit go. Don’t apologize for things that aren’t your fault. Don’t apologize for things you don’t regret. And definitely don’t apologize for who you are.
We are microscopes versus telescopes. Smiles versus scowls. Warm versus frigid. Was there ever a chance for us to find common ground?
Not everyone can barge through the doors like Kylo Ren, with a cape floating behind them, and glower at every person who crosses their path.”
She’s glowing all the time, illuminating everything around her, and the blazing light feels like a third-degree sunburn for a man who has been in the dark for too long.
He’s doing his Kylo Ren impression, storming toward me with a scowl so tight that he might crack his teeth.
Then, fuck me, my next memory is dangerous. The perfect view of her curves in that tight black skirt as she bent over to check the bumper flashes through my mind.
“Morning, Millie.” The sound of my name in his deep timbre melts my mind like ice cream on a summer day.
Millie pulls her hand from her back pocket and sets it on my forearm. I’m sure it’s supposed to be a comforting gesture, but it has the opposite effect. It makes my heart stutter, and my lungs feel twice their weight.
Millie beams at me like she’s broken the code to get inside my heart’s vault, and I can never admit that it’s because her aunt names sound like stripper names.
The heartbroken cry for a friend rings through my ears, and something about it echoes into my soul. My heart seems to perk up and call back, Me too, buddy.
He laughs suddenly, just like yesterday, and it has the same startling effect on me, completely ripping the breath from my lungs.
I try my best to be a fucking professional, and I don’t stare at my coworker’s perfect ass in those tight jeans. . . . for more than a few moments.
They light up the whole damn house in a matter of seconds.
Here is a woman I barely know, dancing around my kitchen with my niece, completely unembarrassed.
My chest tightens, as though someone has taken hold of it and squeezed. Something about watching them together is so . . . right that it leaves me breathless.
I’m failing so fucking badly at keeping her in the coworker column.
My eyes suffer from a disorder that makes them constantly follow her. My mouth is inflicted with something similar that forces me to grin every time she does. And now my brain is affected by the raspy tone of her voice, producing forbidden images of other places she could use it.
“Don’t feel like you should have to go through life apologizing for things you didn’t do. Sometimes you don’t even need to apologize for things you did do.
“Did you fall in love with astronomy or Princess Leia in the sexy gold bikini?”
But there’s still an invisible thread attached to my heart, yanking me over the line every time our eyes connect.
feels like an honor to be close enough that she has ammo for making fun of me.
Don’t be sorry at all. This is exactly where I want you to be.
“Don’t apologize. Stay as long as you need. I’m perfectly comfortable.” I could stay like this for as long as she’d let me.
Millie’s tongue darts out to lick her lips, and it’s agonizing to watch. That trunk full of feelings is leaking in my chest, threatening to drown my entire system.
force. It feels like we just unlocked a new phase of our relationship, and I’m not sure what it is, but I want it. Fuck. All I do around her is want.
When Finn and I lock eyes like this, I have the dizzying feeling that I’m lost and home all at once. I’m in unfamiliar territory and yet completely safe.
Every muscle in my body screams for me to wrap my arms around her in a hug and never let her go.
He pulls back and winks, and I decide it should be illegal for handsome men to wink. It might give an unsuspecting woman a heart attack.
“You’ve done . . . everything. So much more than you know.”
Fuck it. I take two steps toward her, my hips bumping into her knees. My hand shoots out to grab her wrist, and her eyes dart to mine. Holding her gaze, I pull her cookie-dough-covered thumb to my mouth and wrap my lips around it. Her eyes flare and her jaw falls open. I slide my tongue down her finger, catching the sweet dough and letting it melt in my mouth.
Grabbing the outsides of my knees, he turns me ninety degrees until I’m facing him, his thighs bracketing mine. It’s a little cocoon, like in the coffee shop. Protective and comforting, in our own little world.
“I’ve been wanting you since I saw you in that elevator the very first time,” he whispers. “Then you came here and lit up our house and our life, and I think I’m addicted to it.” His grip on my knees tightens, like he can’t help it.
“Hell yes, I was. You feel like mine, and the thought of you with someone else was driving me out of my mind.”
“Did you say you can’t stop thinking about me?” When I press my lips together and nod, the intensity of his smile steals my breath. “It’s okay. I’m patient. I can wait until you’re ready.”
My favorite way involves your fingers, so I’ll have to wait until you’re
“I liked it better when you were comparing me to Kylo Ren.”
“Perfect. I miss my girls.” And that’s all it takes. My heart reaches the point where it won’t fit in my chest anymore.
“Oh, Millie. I don’t want what friends do. I want much more than that with you.”
“Because when you looked up at me after we spilled your coffee, with those little butterflies on your shoulders and your bright, sparkly eyes, I wanted to slide my hands into your hair and drag you to my mouth.”
It’s a stabilizing comfort while he waits for me to feel ready.
It’s Finn and his girls. A package deal. I would never want it any other way.
“What are you doing tonight?” “Um.” I raise my eyes to the ceiling and pretend to think over my schedule. “I have plans with a guy who isn’t grumpy and doesn’t scream at the sight of spiders.” His mouth twitches in amusement. “He sounds boring. Come out with me, instead.”
outside. “Board Game Geek says this is excellent.” She bites back a grin. “A generous wingspan is excellent.” I look at the box in my hands. “What do you mean?” A snorting laugh bursts out of her. “I wish Fable or Tessa were here. They’d get it.”
“But sometimes the wingspan is more of an energy, you know? An aura about a person.” “Totally agree.”
“That’s blasphemy. You have one favorite book? Out of the millions of books in the world, you can narrow it down to one favorite?”
“If I get it, will you read it to me?” She whimpers a yes, and I have to force myself to back away. I leave her red-faced and breathless in the romance aisle before I’m tempted to ravish her against the bookshelves.
She tries to summon a stern look of fire and steel, but it doesn’t work on me. In my eyes, she’ll always be sunshine and wildflowers.
What does a normal night at home look like for you?” A book, a bath, and a toy from the drawer in my nightstand.
I want to open a new Finn file in my mind to store every detail of this evening.
And how he looks at me like I’m his favorite dessert and he can’t wait for the first bite.
