Subtle doesn’t work with me. Be really explicit and don’t worry about hurting my feelings. You won’t. I tend to get defensive at first, and then I circle back later and figure out why the feedback is helpful. So if I seem defensive, don’t be put off. I’ll be thinking about what you’ve said, even if it doesn’t sound like it. I react better when you present your advice as an idea that might help, rather than as “the obviously right answer.” In that frame, I notice that I get hooked into arguing about whether it’s “obvious” or “right,” rather than just considering whether it’s worth trying out.
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