Feedback is often prompted by differences, incompatibilities, or friction between you and the giver. The giver is suggesting that if you would change (“Be on time!” or “Quit being so controlling!”), the problem would be solved. We often react by asserting that we are not the real problem, they are. The problem is not that we are five minutes late; it’s that they are so uptight. And we wouldn’t need to be so controlling if they would get off their backside and take some initiative. So they think we are the problem and we think they are the problem. We’ll show you why feedback in relationships
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