We also don’t see our own system patterns, although people outside of them can often spot their contours easily. You are exasperated with your kids: Why do I have to ask you seven hundred times to get your shoes out of the middle of the kitchen? Your father-in-law is visiting and offers some (uninvited) coaching: “You need to follow through. You need to be consistent.” This is enough to send you over the edge—you are following through by asking them 699 more times, after all. Previously, you had been giving up and moving the shoes yourself. And yet your father-in-law sees something in your
...more
