Be Ready When the Luck Happens

by Ina Garten

Challenges, disappointments, heartbreaks, problems that hit like a ton of bricks, days when I didn’t want to get out of bed. The solution is rarely obvious, and it’s never a straight line up and over the hill.

I love traditional pursuits; I just want to do them my way and make my own decisions.

an example of my belief in trying lots of things to see if they feel right.

me too

admiral eyed us disapprovingly as if we were misbehaving toddlers. One day, when yet another annoying memo came around, I was shocked to read that it was about me. I’d been fired! Fired, just like that, no explanation, for all (well, the other three people) to see. I wasn’t devastated by the news—it was like being thrown out of class for talking too much. “I guess he didn’t find our conversations as interesting as we did?” I told Carolyn, who’d somehow escaped the guillotine. But I was appalled by the way it was delivered, abruptly, publicly, and with absolutely no consideration for my feelings. It was a good experience, though, because years later, when I became the boss, I knew how to be a better one. If I had a problem with an employee, first we’d talk about it privately to see if we could fix it. If there wasn’t a solution, and firing was the only option, I’d take the time to explain why, so they might know how to approach the next job differently or find a job that better suited their interests. People usually thanked me for firing them! Afterward, I would call the rest of my staff together and explain why the person was fired. I did this for two reasons: first, to show them that I wasn’t being arbitrary, there was a specific problem; and second, to clarify that the employee’s behavior wasn’t okay. Surprisingly, although I was concerned that everyone would be upset with me for firing their coworker, they always agreed with me. Each time, I found out that the staff was...

I knew I was the kind of person who jumped into situations—“leap before you look” seemed to be my standard operating procedure, and it was doubtful I would ever change. But I was learning that once I landed, I just might have the analytical skills to make it work—whatever “it” was.

When it comes to money, I do this calculation in my head: I know that I can spend up to X amount of dollars without worrying about it.

Jeffrey graduated and literally talked his way into a job at the White House, where he worked at the Council on International Economic Policy. Around that time, he heard from a friend that there was a job opening at OMB, the White House Office of Management and Budget. I jumped on the opportunity and, in 1974, started working in the legislative office of OMB.

After a long day at the office, I made dinner, took care of the laundry, and did countless other chores, and I began to resent it. I didn’t like that it was assumed I would make dinner, nor did I like that it was assumed Jeffrey would manage our finances and pay the bills. I thought these classic gender roles were annoying and unfair. I wasn’t alone. Women everywhere were rethinking their roles and responsibilities.

It wasn’t having it all, it was doing it all.

Jeffrey was incredibly caring and wonderful in so many other ways, and, as I’ve said, feminist in how he championed my greater ambitions, but the quotidian problems had no

apparent solution. I’d just have to live with them until I figured it out.

“She’s just going to get pregnant and quit her job, so we only consider your income.”

“You actually don’t even exist on paper,” the banker told

me. “You have no credit history.” (All our cards were in Jeffrey’s name.) “There’s nothing we can do.”

When I bought the farm in Ohio with only my OSU ID.

some banks actually required married women to submit a “baby letter,” signed by their doctor, promising they would not get pregnant if they wanted to be considered for a mortgage. Really? Even in 1974, this was borderline medieval, but it was not even an option at our bank, which quickly became not our bank.

we greeted them by name,

words matter and customer service details are important

It was forbidden to say, “May I help you?”

We never asked, “Is that all?” but rather “What else can I get you?,”

How would I like to be treated as a customer? I loved our return policy.

you got something free, such as a different chocolate cake or a new cake that wasn’t overbaked. People were stunned!

brilliant return policy. get something free. gets loyal customers

A serious problem turned into a happy customer for life, and the cost to us was minimal.

“Your mothers didn’t know that they had options. I didn’t know. Gloria Steinem changed all of that,” I explained, wanting them to know what a difference she’d made in the lives they could lead, in the choices they could make. I would have given her anything in the store, but all she’d accept was a cup of coffee.

“You never know your good breaks from your bad ones.”

Following Moses’s lead, I asked the bank for $75,000 (half of what I needed), and the loan was approved. We started demolition during the winter, and at the point of no return, I went back to the bank and asked for the rest of the money. Smart, if embarrassingly devious, but I figured the end, like Moses’s omelet, would justify the means.

I thought that losing the lease on the little Barefoot Contessa was a disaster, the worst thing that ever happened to me. In the end, it was the best thing, because it forced me to move to the building across the street,

Fifty cents—that’s crazy,

Dean & DeLuca moved to a terrible location up the street—at

George Lucas: “We’re all living in cages with the door wide open.”

When I was in my twenties, I had no idea why people have children. Because I had such a horrible childhood with my parents, with emotional and sometimes physical abuse, I couldn’t understand why anyone would

want to re-create that family. I didn’t. There’s a saying, “What goes in early goes in deep.” After my experience, my mind was closed to the possibility of having my own child.

Dolly Parton opened up to Oprah Winfrey about why she didn’t have children, she said, “If I hadn’t had the freedom to work, I wouldn’t have done all the things I’ve done.” I feel the same way.

To be clear, therapy wasn’t a quick or easy process, but it was effective, because I was learning to trust myself.

I felt the same about having children as Ina. Bad idea.

Managing the store all day and catering several parties at night was becoming mind-numbing, like running on an endless treadmill. I decided that my first move was to stop catering. I did the math—private parties were taking up 95 percent of my time but making up only 5 percent of my income. Well, that doesn’t work!

Ina does MATH

I just kept saying to myself, like a mantra, This is the last party I’m ever doing. This is the last party I’m ever doing, as I pulled nails out with the hammer.

Moving forward, we got a lot smarter. When customers asked if they could have a house charge, we’d say, “Of course! We have American Express house charges. Leave your credit card on file and just say ‘charge it’ at the register.”

Ina gets wise.

“Why not? Stores overcharge,” he said unapologetically. He felt he had a right to steal from them, from me!

Ah the stories they tell to absolve themselves of the crime. How it’s your fault… etc.

Elmo is as real to Ina as Minnie is to me. grin

A few days before we were supposed to film the show, Rob called and said, “I think you should see the movie before we film together.”

I couldn’t stop thinking about the movie on the way home; then I had a flash of inspiration. Oh my God, I want the show to look just like the movie.

Then I realized…I’d just been directed by Rob Marshall, who did it brilliantly. Instead of telling me what to do, he showed me the film to give me the context and tools to help me find my inspiration. That’s why actors love him so much—he gently guides them to where they need to go, and eventually, they get there on their own with their own creativity.

classic shown, don’t tell ! I just watched the EPISODE today. Ina Garten cook like a pro on HBO MAX. I feel in love with the pomegranate gimlet during the pandemic. I was the cocktail phase that I really started watching Ina. I never knew until today that it was originally a Poppins Pomegranate Gimlet.

Lin-Manuel was charming,

he seemed a bit nervous or out of his comfort zone. I’d love to ask him about his experience

And if you work up the nerve to take a risk and jump into the pond, make sure you can get out of the pond if it’s not where you want to be.

My favorite example of this is how Steve Jobs reserved a blank space on the iPhone for apps before he had any idea what they would be or how people would use them. Instead of controlling the space, he left room for creativity and possibility.

she paired top rock stars with their favorite Food Network people for a photo shoot. To my total amazement, Taylor Swift chose me! I loved the idea of doing a shoot with her because I’m a huge fan and I play her music all the time while I cook. It’s impossible not to feel good when you’re listening to “Love Story” and “Shake It Off.”

should try to find this Ina plus Taylor Swift bit 2014

Ramen Chicken Noodle Soup recipe.

follow Ina on Insta

“It’s always cocktail hour in a crisis!”

“Stay safe, have a very good time, and don’t forget the cocktails.

My friend Erin French from the restaurant the Lost Kitchen in Maine

“Sometimes you have to trust that the hard times, the pain and the tragedies in life have purpose. They may make no sense at the time,

may bring you to your knees and you will wonder why this hell is happening and if you’ll ever get through it. But trust is your trajectory, sending you along your path, and if you listen, learn, heal a...