Radio Silence

by Alice Oseman

I shrugged. “I’ve got all the main points covered. I’m clever, I’m going to university, blah, blah, blah, grades success happiness. I’m fine.” Sometimes I felt like that was all I ever talked about. Being clever was, after all, my primary source of self-esteem. I’m a very sad person, in all senses of the word, but at least I was going to get into university.

He smiled, but he looked nervous. I looked down. “So . . . yeah. Anyway. Erm. You can go home now, if you want. Sorry.” “Don’t apologize,” he said, in that whispery voice.

I bet he gets that fro Nick

I think the main reason I had a crush on her was because she was pretty, and I think the secondary reason I had a crush on her was because she was the only queer girl I knew. Which is a bit silly, the more I think about it.

I remember that feeling...

got four A grades. That’s the highest you can get at AS level. I expected to be happy about it. I expected to be jumping up and down and crying from joy. But I didn’t feel any of that. It just wasn’t disappointment.

Firstly, everyone was just gonna get drunk, which I could do perfectly well by myself in my den while watching YouTube videos instead of having to worry about catching the last train home or avoiding sexual assault.

He looked angry. And disappointed. It didn’t take a lot for me to believe that I was disappointing, even though I hadn’t done it. I wasn’t the one who’d outed his biggest secret. “ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE.”

“Is there really no way you can contact him?” I shook my head. “He doesn’t answer my texts or messages or calls. He lives six hours away. I don’t even know his address.” Mum took a deep breath. “Then . . . I know you’re worried, but . . . there’s not a lot you can do. This isn’t your fault, I promise.” But it felt like my fault, just because I knew about it and couldn’t do anything to help.