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“I—” the words stick in my throat. I draw in a breath and try again, but I can’t seem to say it. Fuck. Some kind of deep-rooted error in my operating system prevents me from uttering three simple words.
“You’re beautiful.” “So are you.” Her pale blue eyes trace my face, her bare lips pulled into a soft smile. “I love you. Even if you won’t say it back.”
I don’t deserve her. Never have. But I want to believe that I can grow into someone who does.
“You’re all I think about, Vi. I’m fucking crazy about you.”
Like she’s the air I need to keep breathing. Because she is.
She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
“I was going to make up another explanation to tell you that didn’t make me look so bad, but I didn’t want to lie.”
“Remember how I said Connor was pissed because Biscuit kept eating his shoes? Once Connor finally mastered the preschool-level skill of putting away his shit, that improved. Then, Vaughn managed to talk him into taking Biscuit for a walk with him one day. When Connor realized how easy it was to strike up conversations with other dog owners—including attractive dog owners—he became an overnight fan.”
“He’s using my sweet, innocent puppy to pick up women.” “Pretty much.” Nash shrugs. “But whatever keeps the peace around the house. Plus, Biscuit needs the exercise.”
LSU won. And no one else knows Nash got hurt.
She slams the door behind her, whirling around to face me. “You’re dizzy.” This is a disappointment, to say the least. I was expecting victory sex. Or a victory blowjob. Preferably both.
“You need to stop playing until your symptoms are fully resolved and then you can follow a stepwise return-to-sport plan. But you need to sit out for a few games, at least.”
If we could put a pin in this fight until later, that would be great. Better yet, until never.
“You know what else is a massive liability?” she asks. “Permanent brain damage.”
Biscuit is a four-legged garbage disposal. Refusing to eat is unheard of for him.
“I’m trying to be patient with you, Nash, but you make it so damn difficult sometimes.”
Proud of you, Vi. - Nash
“I miss you.”
“I know he’s sick,” Nash says, his mouth hinting at a smile, “but I think he might be playing it up a little for your sake.”
Maybe part of the problem is that it’s difficult to love someone who doesn’t seem to love themselves. I’m trying to love him enough for the both of us, but I’m not sure it’s working.
As for Doug, fuck him.”
In my gut, in my heart, in my head, I know what the right choice is. It’s just not the easy one.
“If there’s one thing this week taught me, it’s that I need you. More than you know.”
“You shouldn’t say things like that when I can’t kiss you,” I whisper. One corner of his mouth lifts. “Save it for later, so we can make up properly.”
“This is a family matter, Violet.” He rolls his eyes. “We don’t need jersey chasers getting involved.”
“Go fuck yourself.”
Good. The only thing worse than losing is losing while I’m benched. I always feel at least somewhat responsible.
“Vi, I know you’re probably horrified by the shit show you just witnessed, but that’s basically just an average Friday in the Richards family. It’s not the first time he’s said those things to me, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.” A rueful smile plays on his lips. “It’s the first time I’ve told him to go fuck himself, though.”
“You don’t deserve to be treated that way, Nash. And I’m sorry if I made it worse with what I said. I didn’t mean to intrude. Hearing him talk to you that way just made me so upset.”
“You were trying to stand up for me, Vi, and that means a lot.”
“But I’m sorry for the way he spoke to you. That was comple...
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“I should have told you.” His throat bobs. “I just—I wanted to protect you. I thought if I held on a little longer, he’d be out of my life forever and I could keep you from ever having to meet him.”
“I don’t want to be like him, Vi.” There’s so much pain in his voice that it makes me ache down to my bones.
“You’re nothing like him.” My fingertips rest on his cheek. “Sure, you’re a little guarded at times. But like I said, you have a big heart. You’re caring and thoughtful with me in so many ways.”
“I almost ruined the best thing that ever happened to me for a second time. Sounds exactly like something he’d do.”
“You don’t have to earn being loved, Nash. I know hockey is a huge part of your identity, but it isn’t all of you. You could hang up your skates tomorrow and I’d still be just as crazy about you.”
“I’m so fucking lucky to have you. I think about that every day.”
“I love you, Vi. I never stopped.” “I love you.” My voice breaks, along with my composure.
“Thank you for not giving up on me. I promise I’ll never give up on us.”
“I love you, and I’m going to spend all night showing you just how much.”
How the hell is she mine? I must have been a fucking saint in a former life.
number twenty-two.
“I love that smile,” she says softly, her fingers skimming my mouth. “I feel like I’m the only one who gets it.” “That’s because you are.”
“I’m going to miss the fuck out of you while I’m away next season. Especially after getting spoiled from seeing you every day right now.” She makes a sad face. “I’ll miss you, too.”
“I love you, Vi. So much.” “I love you.”
“And this heart is mine. At least, I hope it is, because you have my heart, and you always will.”
The most important part of my life isn’t hockey or my career. She’s sitting in section 106, row 5, and she’s my whole fucking world.
