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To the girls who taught themselves what love feels like… You turned broken pieces into armor and scars into stories.
He is not here. Stop looking for him.
Yet, I’d never felt more alone.
“Cuddlebug?”
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
“You’re sitting dangerously close to the edge, and you look like you’re about to cry.”
I refused to burden him with my issues.
“Yup. Your eyeliner’s running. Don’t tell me it’s a new trend. Last summer, it was nose hair extensions. You’ll never understand the trauma of hopping off a long-ass flight and finding a tarmac full of furries. I thought I landed on the wrong planet.”
“I’m too hot for my own good.”
“Just wait.”
“Yeah. You’re the sleeping beauty, silly.”
“Made you smile.” His eyes twinkled with humor. “Knew I could, too. I’m irresistible like that.”
“It’s perfect.”
“I never just say things.”
“I’m dead-ass serious, Cuddlebug.”
“Dude, you’re slower than a dead sloth.”
produced a crumpled, coral rose from his tux’s inner pocket. With a grin, he tucked the trimmed stem into my hair, dropping the phone back into his hand.
But I knew lots of beautiful girls, and none of them made my knees weak and my neck hot. Like right now.
I mean, she’d read it to me while I stared at her hopelessly, so I guess I liked it.
Whenever I traveled, I always made sure to pick up a souvenir for her and ship it to whatever country her dad had hauled her off to at the time.
Something about her dream-stricken eyes and soft-spoken words made me want to snuggle into her like a cozy blanket.
Cuddlebug got her name a decade ago when she decided she couldn’t go ten seconds without hugging or touching me.
What’s wrong is I want to kiss you, and I can’t stop thinking about it,
She was more lovable than anything on the planet, Nutella croissants included.
That asshole was born to piss me off.
She tried to unplaster my hand from her cheeks, but I held it firm.
Stay calm for me.
Of an attempt to suck away the pain from my favorite person in the world and swallow it as my own.
I hoped badly that Cuddlebug was too occupied by our kiss to hear them.
I squeezed Briar Rose tighter, searing our lips together, pressing them so close that she couldn’t budge if she tried.
“If the sky falls, I’ll hold it up for you.”
That motherfucker.
A land where every burn she received lashed at my own skin like a whip, her losses became mine, and her aches weighed down my bones.
“Run away with me.”
“We could go to the end of the world.”
“We are going to talk on the phone every day and continue writing to each other. I’m going to be at your beck and call. Summer will come before you even know it. And at eighteen, you’ll be free from those assholes. Okay?”
Hell, I was scared.
“I am always going to be here for you.”
There’s no mountain too high, no ocean too deep, no planet too far for me to reach you. This is my oath to you. You will always have me. You will never, ever lose me.”
“Tempting, but I’d rather eat my own spleen.”
“You know I don’t show up in public with the same woman more than once. People will get the wrong idea and think I’m considering monogamy, Franklin. I’m a fuckboy, not a con artist.”
“Spared you the broken heart.”
Because I’m a master at secrets.
“Intimacy doesn’t need a coordinator. I can tell you what goes where. It’s an all-of-the-above answer, but you don’t need an expert to point out the pros and cons of each hole.”
Do I look like I’m in a position to judge anyone?
I cared. Too much. All. The. Fucking. Time.
Those fingers, like the woman attached to them, were the very reason I floated in this world aimlessly.
My Briar Rose.