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January 1 - January 7, 2024
“This isn’t the Kit I know.”
“If you’re going to fucking talk to me like that, you’re going to look at me,” I growl, using what little strength I have left to grab his jaw and spin him toward me.
“I’m selfish, and I play to get what I want. If I want a win, I play hard on the ice. If I want sex, I play girls. It’s how I operate, and you know that.”
“I’m not. You were just so blinded by something you could never have.” Could never have. He means him. He means a healthy, long-term relationship. He means love. He means I was never good enough for more than sex.
DIE DIE DIE DIE
“There is no us. There never was. This was all a means to—” “Sleep with a warm body,”
NOOOOOOOOO
“I hope it was worth it. I hope this was all worth it,”
I’m so tired of feeling. I’m so tired of always wearing my heart on my sleeve. I wish I could turn my emotions off. I wish I could stop feeling.
view. A handsome man whom I’ve never seen before sits down next to me,
But despite how handsome he is, he does absolutely nothing for me.
His touch doesn’t have the same effect that Kit’s does.
What looks like white powdered sugar swishes around in the bag. “What is that?”
“A pick-me-up. Something to help you have some fun.”
NO. NO. NO.
“A little friend of mine named Molly.”
When he holds out the daunting bag, I wet my index finger, dip it into the snowscape of powder, and stick it into my mouth.
BITCH WHAT THE HELL
“I mean, obviously the pressure to get into a good college was a lot. But her social life wasn’t always that great. Her choice in guys was fucking abysmal. I hated every single one of her boyfriends. Pieces of shit that didn’t know how to treat a woman right, let alone treat her right. They were…”
“Well, they were like you.”
“You know, they were players,”
I’m not…like Faye’s terrible exes, am I? I’m not that bad, right? The last thing I’d ever want to do is hurt Faye.
im still mad at you but also i feel a little bad
Thank you, Mom and Dad, for not getting a divorce soon enough when you clearly should have.
It’s hard, knowing who your person is and not being able to have them. It’s one of the hardest things humans have to endure.
“Thank you for that unwanted observation.”
“If you’re going to fight me about it, I’ll throw you over my shoulder right now. Is that what you want?”
jealous rampage—maybe a little—but not entirely, okay?
“What did you take?”
I can feel my body start to shake, but it’s not from rage. It’s from worry. Metric tons of worry large enough to fill up an entire cargo dock.
This isn’t your run-of-the-mill wasted. I’ve been to enough ragers to know the difference between drugs and drinks.
“What. Did. You. Take.”
“Marboly,” she whispers, her breath tickling the shell of my ear.
“It’s eucalyptic.” “Excuse me?”
“Eucalyptic! It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Kind of like I did before you went and broke my heart.”
“Or is it eucaphoric? Maybe it’s that. Is that what koalas eat? Have you ever seen a koala before? They’re so cute, but I heard they can give you chlamydia. Would you hold a koala if it meant you got chlamydia? They look so soft.”
“Euphoric?”
“Faye, look at me,” I implore, using my index finger to gently pivot her jaw. She does as I say, following the heat of my finger, giving me a smile that sparks an ache in my chest.
“Did you take Molly?”
“If I tell you, you need to keep it a seeecreeet.” “Did. You. Take. Molly.”
“That’s what the guy said. I can’t believe I’ve never taken it before! It’s so much fun. And it looked like a bag of snow.” She flitters her fingers in the air, imitating snowflakes. “I love Christmas.”
I’m not mad at Faye. I’m mad at whoever the fuck had Molly on them and gave it to her. No way in hell would Faye go searching for it.
“Princess, do you remember who gave it to you?”
“Didn’t tell me his name.”
“Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to stay in here while I figure this out. You’re not going to leave the bathroom. Do you understand?”
“You’re leaving. Again. Just like you were planning all along.”
Would she have taken the drugs if we hadn’t got into that fight?
“You’re coming back, right?”
“I’ll always come back to you.”
Whenever I see KJ, he’s always equipped with liquid courage or…drugs.
i kind of get the feeling it might not be KJ
This little confrontation will be drama-free and over in less than a minute.
I don’t think I realize how truly furious I am when I drop the drink, roughly turn KJ in his stupid hat toward me, and clock him directly in the face.
“If you ever fuck with her again, I’ll take my skate and slit your throat with it,”
“It’s not her fault,” Kit interjects, trying to play hero. Well, it’s too late for that, buddy.
How is anybody supposed to take me seriously when I’m as intimidating as a cupcake?
