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January 1 - January 7, 2024
I show her some eyeteeth.
what the fuck does this mean? creepy mental image.
At a real dining establishment that sells full-sized sausages instead of mini wieners.”
innuendo who
“You know, I’m a pleasure to be around. Funny, handsome, conversational, a great big spoon. You’re getting the meet and greet without having to pay me anything.”
“I didn’t realize you were pursuing an escort job,”
—Kit gestures to his romance novel-esque physique, making a show of flexing every muscle he can—“for
romance book character references romance books
He has the fucking gall to wink at me. WINK!
“Considering you’d have a heart attack if you knew what actually went through my mind, it is definitely my best behavior.” Gulp.
“Your left.” “This is my left.” “My left.” “So, my right.”
Believing that someone genuinely wants to spend time with me is hard.
I’ve always felt like a responsibility to Hayes. I just imagine how much better his life would’ve been if he didn’t have to look after me. He could’ve been a teenager. He could’ve gone to parties and dances and done fun and stupid things. But instead, he spent his weekends at home, making me dinner and helping me with homework. I can’t help but feel like I’m just a responsibility for Kit too…one I burdened him with.
this poor girl... but like so relatable
“If it makes you feel any better, I’ve always felt the need to apologize. You know, as a woman in society.”
I intimidate him? Is he on crack? Kit—six foot five, who has never cried at a Disney movie in his life and is covered head to toe in tattoos—is intimidated by me, Faye, five foot five, who cries whenever she sees roadkill and has never done anything permanent to her body?
“Princess, you’re the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted.”
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous when you blush,”
“Ah! Why are your fingers so bony? And why do you always feel the need to resort to physical violence?”
I bet his pheromones could be weaponized.
“Flattery will get you nowhere.” “Flattery gets me everywhere.”
She’s my sun, and I’m the idiot orbiting around her.
“But I probably ruined their bachelor plans.”
“Yeah, you know, the Three Bs: booze, boobs, and bed,”
I see her as a princess who deserves to be adored, to be spoiled, to be tended to at her beck and call. And fuck, I’d give anything to be her prince.
“That’s how you want to spend your summer? Inside, hiding away from sunlight like you’re some vampire, staring at a bunch of words?”
y e s
“It is. Anything you say is important.”
“I was just talking about how thrilling reading can actually be. It’s relaxing but stimulating. You’re in this other little world, experiencing it for the very first time. You don’t have to worry about your shitty desk job or the errands you have to run tomorrow. You can just…escape.”
“I bet it’s not. Hell, you could tell me you read porn, and I wouldn’t judge you.”
“Mmm” is all I can manage. And not an, oh-that’s-so-interesting-tell-me-more “mmm” but a please-stop-talking-or-my-dick-will-explode “mmm.”
and my social battery doesn’t drop to red, get-me-out-of-here territory.
taking in the traumatizing sight of Hayes’ wrists tied to the headboard and a blindfold over his eyes.
AHHHH
Aeris, who I’ve grown to love like a sister, stands in a black corset, thong, thigh garter, and heels, wielding a shoe in her hand and huffing like she just ran a mile.
HOLY HELL
Anything would’ve been better than witnessing my brother with his…thing…out like it’s fucking Nude-A-Palooza.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t checking my brother’s girlfriend out. She’s gorgeous, sue me.
“If your girl wasn’t in the other room, I’d give you a suitcase wedgie.”
“I’m going to help you get settled so I don’t end up strangling your brother,” he whispers to me. “I’d honestly help you.”
schleps
doing that dreaded thing where he leans against the doorframe.
"dreaded"
This is one of my romance books come to life. Except Kit Langley is more attractive than any woman-written book boyfriend in existence.
His dick is like a goddamn third hockey stick, probably as thick and long as my forearm. So huge that I’m pretty sure I’d need to use an entire bottle of lube, or he’d have to break my legs over my shoulders—
Sometimes even the best environments can be overstimulating for me,
FRIENDS WITHOUT BENEFITS
“Tell me, G. How’s your sex life going?” “Great, thank you. I do it twice a day.” “That explains why your arm’s looking bigger.”
She’s going to say yes, because Faye is a people pleaser, and she would never want to be the reason for capsized plans.
Faye Hollings isn’t someone who drifts through your life. She’s someone who lingers, stays, and remains in your heart. And I think she’s carved her goddamn name on me.
mainly because my traitorous dick is pitching a four-person tent in my pants.
Nothing’s more embarrassing than admitting you have a boner for your friend’s sister, right? Wrong. So wrong. Because the next set of words out of my mouth is… “I have to shit!”
No, no, no. I did not just say that. Mouth, meet brain. Brain, meet mouth. Next time, get motor functions involved and just fast-walk out of there.
Especially with a man so large that he could dominate me without barely lifting a finger.
RED ALERT! RED ALERT! WEE-WOO, WEE-WOO. BRAIN IS NOT EQUIPPED TO HANDLE SUCH SENSITIVE INFORMATION.
LET’S GET PHYSICAL! (WITH EACH OTHER)
And Kit is, of course, looking like an idiot doing a feminine—and slightly suggestive—pose with his big, burly body. I don’t doubt that his ass probably looks spectacular though.
“You’re mad that I’m not staying hundreds of feet away from you?”
