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January 1 - January 7, 2024
To any readers who’ve ever wanted to be degraded by a scary, tattooed hockey player with a filthy mouth. This one’s for you.
The guy I’m secretly in love with—the guy who looks at me like I’m his kid sister.
Kit races over to me and yanks me up by the arms, pulling me into his large chest. His grip suffocates me, but I don’t try to pull away. He’s mumbling something into my hair, his hand cradling the back of my head, the rapid thundering of his heart a steady medium in my ears.
Anger tears across his expression. “Faye, who hurt you?”
“My date. H-he—I said no…”
Kit’s eyes heat with understanding, and every muscle in his upper body ripples with iron-hot rage.
“There’s no such thing as mixed signals. Either you’re into it or you’re not. And it’s pretty fucking clear when a chick isn’t.”
Kit reaches out to, I don’t know, maybe cup my cheek, and I flinch. He stops and lets out a litany of swears
“Where. Is. He.”
“I’m going to kill that son of a bitch.”
“I’m taking you to file a report.”
Humorless laughter dances out of him. “Oh, and you think I’m super calm, cool, and collected right now?”
“I don’t need you to play hero! I just need you to be here for me. I called you because…” His eyebrows jerk together expectantly. “Because?” “Because I trust you,” I finish.
Hayes is a…protective…older brother.
“I promised your brother I’d look after you.”
“I can look after myself.” “Clearly, you can’t.”
“Fuck, Faye. I didn’t mean that.” Tears sear the backs of my
“No, you did. You’re right. I need to handle this. I’m not your problem.”
“Look, Faye, when you called me…I’ve never been so afraid in my entire life. I was worried something bad had happened to you, and I was right. I need to know I’m keeping you safe, otherwise I’m going to lose my mind.”
“But you have to promise to think about it.” Kit holds his pinky out to me. “I promise.”
“This is not your fault. You need to understand that.”
“This is his fault, okay? This is all on him. He took advantage of you. This small-dicked asshole took your freedom, your choice, and he’ll be paying for every second of it for the rest of his miserable life.”
Friends. Did I seriously just say that? Why did I say that? Why couldn’t I just tell her the truth? I want to be so much more than just friends.
It’s taking everything inside of me not to hunt that fucker down and make him eat his own intestines.
Faye’s the embodiment of everything pure in this world, like the furry, white heads of blooming dandelions swirling away in a summer breeze, or the way seafoam laps between your toes before dissolving into damp granules of sand.
Jesus. I want to hug her, touch her. I want to hold her in my arms and never let go.
“I wish you would’ve told me, Faye. I wish I’d been there for you. You don’t have to do this all by yourself. You shouldn’t.” “I’m used to it,”
“You shouldn’t have had to get used to it,”
“Come back with me to California. Just for the summer,”
Not just head-over-heels, but head-over-body, tripping until I fall into a sad pretzel shape on the ground.
He’s like catnip, and I desperately want to rub myself all over him.
This whole idea doesn’t even scream proceed with caution. It screams: TURN BACK NOW BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE.
Kit keeps his tone measured. “Who said you’re a problem?”
“Just because you’re used to taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you should be. Accepting help isn’t a sign of weakness; it doesn’t diminish your strength or resilience. You’re stronger if you acknowledge you need help,”
“You’re so content with carrying all this weight on your shoulders. Now let me carry some of it for you.”
Aeris, my brother’s girlfriend, told me about hockey butts, but I never really believed her. Until now. You could fully bounce a quarter off that thing. Or use it for insulation in the winter.
I don’t think he realizes he’s half-cuddling me. Holy shit. What do I do? Uh, uh, uh. Do I move him?
“Your middle name is Patricia?”
“Unfortunately, yes. And none of the guys know that, so I’m praying you won’t say anything.”
“You’re telling me that the big, bad Kit Langley is afraid of a little trouble?”
“When it’s fun sized and dangerously addictive like you, I am very afraid.”
You don’t want that, do you? You couldn’t possibly want me.”
I want to mean something to someone.”
Faye means more to me than she’ll ever know.
I don’t know much, but I know one thing for certain: winning Faye Hollings’ heart isn’t a game. It’s the end of the line.
“And put that thing away!”
“I can’t! I’m so fucking hard right now that I can’t think straight. You do this to me. No other girl does, okay? All of the girls I’ve been with haven’t held a candle to you. You’re all I ever think about, and it kills me that I can’t have you.”