Mars and Venus on a Date: A Guide for Navigating the 5 Stages of Dating to Create a Loving and Lasting Relationship

by John Gray

When a woman brings more to him than he feels he can bring to her, it has the same effect as when a woman pursues a man.

A man is most interested in a relationship when he feels he has something to offer and share. When he feels good about himself and his work, then he wants to share that with a woman. The more competent a man feels in the presence of a woman, the more attracted he will be to her.

To increase the opportunity for a man to feel attracted to a woman, if she feels she would like his advice on something, then by all means she should ask. Whenever a man gets to feel useful to a woman, he will feel more proud of himself and like her more.

Certainly a man will appreciate a woman’s help if he has asked for it, but offering help can easily backfire and make a man feel mothered and smothered. If a man wants help he will generally ask for it. When a woman offers to help it can easily make her appear too eager to win his affections, or it can come across as an insult.

To help a man solve a problem implies that he doesn’t have the competence to do it himself. Men are very picky about receiving help because they really like proving that they can do things alone, if they can. If they can’t, then it is fine to ask for help, and they will.

it is not necessarily who we are that makes or breaks a relationship, but how we express and communicate who we are.

Confidence assumes that you can do what you set out to do, even if you have to do it all by yourself without any help. Self-assurance assumes that others are available and want to help and you don’t have to do it all by yourself.