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“Pygmalion effect,”
the Character Ethic as the foundation of success—things like integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, industry, simplicity, modesty, and the Golden Rule.
The Character Ethic taught that there are basic principles of effective living, and that people can only experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles into their basic character.
the Personality Ethic. Success became more a function of personality, of public image, of attitudes and behaviors, skills and techniques, that lubricate the processes of human interaction.
two paths: one was human and public relations techniques, and the other was positive mental attitude (PMA).
Each of us has many, many maps in our head, which can be divided into two main categories: maps of the way things are, or realities, and maps of the way things should be, or values.
paradigm shifting, what we might call the “Aha!” experience when someone finally “sees” the composite picture in another way.
Not all paradigm shifts are in positive directions. As we have observed, the shift from the Character Ethic to the Personality Ethic has drawn us away from the very roots that nourish true success and happiness.
For our purposes, we will define a habit as the intersection of knowledge, skill, and desire. Knowledge is the theoretical paradigm, the what to do and the why. Skill is the how to do. And desire is the motivation, the want to do. In order to make something a habit in our lives, we have to have all three.
maturity continuum, dependence is the paradigm of you—you take care of me; you come through for me; you didn’t come through; I blame you for the results. Independence is the paradigm of I—I can do it; I am responsible; I am self-reliant; I can choose. Interdependence is the paradigm of we—we can do it; we can cooperate; we can combine our talents and abilities and create something greater together.
true effectiveness is a function of two things: what is produced (the golden eggs) and the producing asset or capacity to produce (the goose).
Effectiveness lies in the balance—what I call the P/PC Balance. P stands for production of desired results, the golden eggs. PC stands for production capability, the ability or asset that produces the golden eggs.
Victor Frankl suggests that there are three central values in life—the experiential, or that which happens to us; the creative, or that which we bring into existence; and the attitudinal, or our response in difficult circumstances such as terminal illness.
The Circle of Concern is filled with the have’s: “I’ll be happy when I have my house paid off.” “If only I had a boss who wasn’t such a dictator…”
The Circle of Influence is filled with the be’s—I can be more patient, be wise, be loving. It’s the character focus.
While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of those actions. Consequences are governed by natural law. They are out in the Circle of Concern.
The proactive approach to a mistake is to acknowledge it instantly, correct and learn from it. This literally turns a failure into a success.
It is here that we find two ways to put ourselves in control of our lives immediately. We can make a promise—and keep it. Or we can set a goal—and work to achieve it.
Don’t argue for other people’s weaknesses. Don’t argue for your own. When you make a mistake, admit it, correct it, and learn from it—immediately. Don’t get into a blaming, accusing mode. Work on things you have control over. Work on you. On be.
two additional unique human endowments that enable us to expand our proactivity and to exercise personal leadership in our lives are imagination and conscience.
The most effective way I know to begin with the end in mind is to develop a personal mission statement or philosophy or creed. It focuses on what you want to be (character) and to do (contributions and achievements) and on the values or principles upon which being and doing are based.
center of our life will be the source of our security, guidance, wisdom, and power.
Security represents your sense of worth, your identity, your emotional anchorage, your self-esteem, your basic personal strength or lack of it.
Guidance means your source of direc...
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Wisdom is your perspective on life, your sense of balance, your understanding of how the various parts and principles apply and relate to each other.
Power is the faculty or capacity to act, the strength and potency to accomplish something.
A good affirmation has five basic ingredients: it’s personal, it’s positive, it’s present tense, it’s visual, and it’s emotional.
Organize and execute around priorities.
the two factors that define an activity are urgent and important.
Urgent means it requires immediate attention. It’s “Now!” Urgent things act on us. A ringing phone is urgent. Most people can’t stand the thought of just allowing the phone to ring.
Urgent matters are usually visible.
And often they are pleasant, easy, fun to do. But so often they are unimportant!
Importance, on the other hand, has to do with results.
Important matters that are not urgent require more initiative, more proactivity. We must act to seize opportunity, to make things happen.
For a number of reasons, I won’t be participating myself, but I want you to know how much I appreciate your invitation.”
Then I ask this question: if you were to fault yourself in one of three areas, which would it be: (1) the inability to prioritize; (2) the inability or desire to organize around those priorities; or (3) the lack of discipline to execute around them, to stay with your priorities and organization?
If you are centered on your spouse, your money, your friends, your pleasure, or any extrinsic factor, you will keep getting thrown back into Quadrants I and III, reacting to the outside forces your life is centered on. Even if you’re centered on yourself, you’ll end up in I and III reacting to the impulse of the moment.
management follows leadership.
The way you spend your time is a result of the way you see your time and the way you really see your priorities. If your priorities grow out of a principle center and a personal mission, if they are deeply planted in your heart and in your mind, you will see Quadrant II as a natural, exciting place to invest your time.
Organizing on a weekly basis provides much greater balance and context than daily planning.
You think effectiveness with people and efficiency with things
The fourth generation of self-management is more advanced than the third in five important ways.
First, it’s principle-centered.
Second, it’s conscience-directed.
Third, it defines your unique mission, including values and long-term goals.
Fourth, it helps you balance your life by identifying roles, and by setting goals and scheduling activities in each key role every week.
And fifth, it gives greater context through weekly organizing (with daily adaptation as needed),
With immature people, you specify fewer desired results and more guidelines, identify more resources, conduct more frequent accountability interviews, and apply more immediate consequences.
With more mature people, you have more challenging desired results, fewer guidelines, less frequent accountability, and less measurable but more discernable criteria.
Integrity includes but goes beyond honesty. Honesty is telling the truth—in other words, conforming our words to reality.
