Kiss the Sky (Calloway Sisters, #1)

by Krista Ritchie

“Who has the best legs?” “Lily,” Loren says. “But she won’t believe me if I say it.” Ryke rubs his lips in thought. Loren glares at him like “you better not have fucking said her name”—but I think we all hear Daisy in his head anyway. “Rose,” Ryke grimaces. I laugh into my sip of champagne. “Rose,” Connor says. “And then me, of course.”

A part of me wishes this reality show was a failure so I could easily choose my sisters’ welfare over my dream. I should do it. Two years ago, I think I would have. But I wonder if Lily would ever forgive herself for driving my company to the ground. I think she needs to know that my company is okay too—that she didn’t destroy everything with her addiction.

Ryke is the closest to Daisy. “Fuck,” he curses, quickly standing behind her. He grabs the hem of her dress and tugs down.

“Are you checking out my ass?” Daisy asks with the raise of her eyebrows “Yeah, so did the rest of the fucking party.” “So what’d you think? On a scale of one to ten.” She grins playfully. “I’m not rating your ass.” “Will you ride it then?” “Daisy,” I interject. Stop, I mouth. She pushes Ryke too far, and he’s not one to back down from these kinds of conversations. Daisy’s smile fades. “Sorry…I was just messing around.” She flips her phone in her hand. “I’m going to go…mingle.” Now I feel bad. “No,” I tell her sharply. “You’re staying.” “No, it’s cool. I need to go talk to Mom anyway.” She avoids Ryke who stares down at her with a strong gaze—filled with this unadulterated concern. It’s strange for such a hard-lined guy to have such potent empathy for others. But I’ve seen it come out on more than one occasion.

OMG

It’s mostly Rose’s parents that have my stomach in knots. Because even though I’ve appeared only twice in the show, edited to look disinterested in my own girlfriend, it’s their opinions that matter to me, not the public, not strangers—just people that I need to impress. Because one fucking day, I plan to marry that girl, and I want them to realize that I’m the best man for Rose. And that no one else can come even marginally close.

Lily bottles her emotions and finally emerges from Lo’s shirt, her cheeks tear-streaked and pink. I have a feeling Lo will be carrying her out of the venue. Most likely in a front piggy-back.

i love how protective he is of her

“I think about her all the time,” he says with an insincere, wistful smile. “She’s a firestorm that I won’t ever smother. I’m the one who inflames her, who riles her to a new, confounding degree. She’s my perfect match.” My face falls. And I unwillingly let everyone see my shock. I can’t hold it in this time. Because those last lines are mine. I said them in an interview. And he stole them from me.

WHAT

“He plagiarized you.” I let out a breath. “Comment peux-tu le dire?” How can you tell? “Who riles her to a new, confounding degree?” she repeats. “Only you would say that…and maybe me.” I kiss her cheek and wrap my arms tighter around her waist. She eases back into me. He can’t come between us.

TO BE LOVED IS TO BE SEEN AND KNOWN

“Yes,” I say. “Love holds no meaning in my life.” The show fades to black with that last line. In the full-length interview, I added, “But Rose is at the epicenter of my world, whether I allow myself to love her or not.” It was all cut. And as the large crowd claps and talks amongst themselves about the show, Lo and Ryke turn on me with dark scowls. Rose grabs another champagne glass off a tray and leans back into my chest, unaffected by my words like them.

OMG

“So was that the real Connor Cobalt?” Lo asks, his arm around Lily who stares at me with the same furrowed brows. She glances at her sister with more concern. They’re on Rose’s side. As they should be. “I spoke honestly,” I say. “And that wasn’t the first time I’ve done so.” “So you’ve never loved anyone?” Lo asks. “Not another girlfriend, not your mom, your dad or a friend?” He wants to know if I think of him more than just a contact like Patrick Nubell. Am I using Loren Hale for his father’s company, the multi-billion dollar baby product franchise? At first, yes. Now, no. He’s my real friend. Maybe my first one ever. But have I loved him the way a friend loves another friend? I don’t think I’m wired that way.

tonight. I need to get her to bed before she passes out. “It’s just how he is. If you even understood half of Connor Cobalt’s beliefs, your head would spin.” “Rose,” I say, worried she’s going to fracture my relationship with Loren. While he doesn’t know me like she does, I’ve never lied to him. I just haven’t shown him all of me. And that shouldn’t be a bad thing. Some people are naturally private. I am. She tries to defend me, stepping towards Lo and skillfully staying upright. I hold her by the waist to steady her movements. “No, Connor has done nothing wrong.”

“And what about you, Rose, is that enough for you?” Lily reaches out and touches her hand. Rose nods stiffly, and she holds Lily’s hand tighter. “I’m going to go to the bathroom. You guys can meet us at the car.” Lily supports her sister with an arm around her waist as they head through the dispersing crowds. I watch her, making sure she safely leaves,

I stay still and try to gather my feelings that tangle in a muted mass. What kind of person needs a therapist to tell them how they feel? Am I not as smart as I believe or am I just human?

@TVDFan70008: Have you seen the way Lo looks at Lily? *swoon*

TVD MENTIONED??

Those flowers are tainted in her mind. “I already ordered them, so what do you want me to do?” she says. “I can’t very well cancel, can I?” “Yes, you can.” “I don’t understand why you’re so bent out of shape over the flowers.” I stand my ground. “I know Lily better than you,” I remind her. “We’re going to accommodate her one and only request.”

And I have no right to keep Daisy with me after the reality show wraps. There’s nothing I can do but wait until Daisy’s older—to see if she’d like to live with us and distance herself from our mother a little more. To finally breathe the way I know she wants to. It’s going to be a long wait, but I’m willing to suffer through it.

Loren may believe that Connor won’t be there for me at the end of the line, but that night at the screening party made me realize how much I do trust him. How much I do know him. Lo was wrong on so many accounts, and that’s only because Connor has let me see more than a couple sides of his life. Whether Connor says it or not, he loves me enough to let me in more than halfway. And I know it’s time for me to do the same on a different kind of level.

OMG WAIT

I’m usually open about everything with Frederick, but being with Rose makes me want to keep every moment close to our chests, so no one can share what happens but us.

AW

I don’t want one of us to lose with sex. We both need to come out successful and fulfilled.

“I’m surprised you’re not pushing her harder. For years, you’ve talked about how you want to—” “I’m going to push her as far as I think she can go without having her run out on me. She’s packed a suitcase before, remember? She stayed in a hotel in the Hamptons for a week just to prove a point. And we weren’t even living together then.”

“She loves to disagree with me.” We argue a lot about theories because they’re easily debatable, but we always, somehow, kiss in the end.

“When she went down on you, you didn’t let her use her hands?” he suddenly asks. “No.” These questions are annoying me more than usual. “Did she like it?” “Immensely.” “You’re very possessive of her,” he states, taking out his notepad. “How can you tell?” “You sound irritated.” Wonderful.

“I enjoy being matched outside of the bedroom. It’s a constant game that’s fun to play. She keeps me on my toes.” The words come out like I’ve rehearsed them, but it’s only because I’ve said them so many times before. “But I love the part where I can give her everything she needs in sex, and I get the same in return. Through that bedroom door, I become in control again, and I can empower her. It’s a dynamic that never gets tired or old.” I often thought about her when I was at Faust and Penn—remembering the conversations we had at academic bowls and conferences. I never believed she’d enjoy giving up control in bed. But the longer she shied from affection, recoiling from other men, I thought she was just scared. And how could a woman as powerful and unabashed as her be frightened of sex? And then it dawned on me. She didn’t wish to rule a man in bed. She wanted to be ruled. But she didn’t know how to ask without feeling weak. So she thought being alone, unfulfilled sexually was the better option. I’m here to tell her it should have never been a fucking solution in the first place.

“I’ve seen the kind of love that cripples. Take Loren Hale and Lily Calloway—when one is shot with an emotion, the other feels it. If you stripped one from the other, they’d be less than themselves. If that’s love, I want no part of it.” I want to be whole. I want to be the best possible version of myself without the chance of being wounded or broken. “Can you empathize with Rose?” he asks me. “Yes, but love is a weakness that I won’t submit to.” “Sometimes you can’t control everything, Connor,” he tells me. “Even as intelligent as you are, there are things out of your grasp. Love, death—you can’t predict either. They just happen.” “And you believe it’s already happened?” I refuse this outcome. It’s not computable. “Why are you with her?” “Attraction.” “And?” “Affection.” “What else?” “Amusement—these are just words, Frederick.” “Love is just a word.” “I can’t love her,” I tell him definitively as I stand and pocket my phone. He stays seated, and yet, I feel as though he has the advantage on me. He still sees what I can’t. “And why is that?” “Smart people do stupid things when they’re in love. I’ve yet to do something inane.” Frederick grins. “Give it time.”

i wish he wasn't so afraid of love and things that he can't control

Rose plans on drinking straight from the bottle. She’s trying hard to progress our relationship, willing to forgo a glass. That’s a big deal in Rose Calloway’s world. Her effort hasn’t gone unnoticed in my eyes.

i can't get over how much they know each other

“Truth or dare.” She says it with a straight face, almost challenging me to laugh. I keep my expression complacent, but I can’t help what I say. “Shall we spend seven minutes in heaven too?” She shoots me a heated look. “We’re playing. Don’t make me tie you up.” I laugh and rub my lips, unable to contain my amusement. “Darling, if anyone is going to be tied up,” I say, my hand descending towards her ass, “c’est toi.” It’s you.

he's so fine

Normal couples who share a bed would be fine playing truth or dare together. Another piece of evidence that I am not normal. We are not normal.

“What’s your favorite position?” “I won’t hurt you,” he says, reading into my question. “I know you’re nervous to have sex, but I promise I’ll be…” He smiles at his own thought. “…no that’s not quite right.” “You were about to say gentle, weren’t you?” His lips rise further, validating my assumption. The aftertaste of tequila sticks to my tongue, and my head dizzies at the idea of Connor being anything but gentle. I’m not the softest girl, so the image of being handled by a soft, careful boy makes me squirm. “I promise I’ll be me,” he says, grinning into his next swig of wine. “It’s a good thing I like you then.” My voice is still icy. The alcohol hasn’t kicked in just yet. “Like me? Qu’en est-il de l’amour?” What happened to love? “You don’t believe in love,” I retort. “So you’ve lost the right for me to love you back.” I nod assuredly at this new stance I’m taking. “But I still like you. Don’t worry.” “I never worry,” he says. “I do believe in love. When I was a child I thought it wasn’t real, but I’ve come to see that it does exist for some people. Just not me.” Right. He can’t love anyone. He’s too analytical, I suppose. I’ve come to accept it, but there’s a part of me that wants so badly to be his first love the way he’s mine.

SHE IS DEFO HIS FIRST LOVE

I kind of want to punch him for the smirk, but I also want Connor to kiss me roughly. It’s an odd mixture that’s pounding my head.

“You love me. Even if you won’t say it anymore.” “Maybe.”

OMG

“You wanted to play this game,” he reminds me. “Somewhere in your heart, you wanted these things to be revealed.” I did. And that’s why I had the alcohol. To build my courage.

TO BE LOVED IS TO BE KNOWN

studying him like he’s the most interesting specimen in the universe. To me, he most definitely is.

AW

“I picture you.” My vocal cords freeze. “Good. Keep going.” I smack his arm. “I picture you as well,” he says. “I have since I was seventeen.” “Really?” “It wasn’t fair to the other people I was with, but you’ve been the most fascinating person to me. And no one could really compare in my mind.” I rephrase his words and hear I love you. Even if he won’t ever say them. This proclamation inflates my courage. And I sit up a little straighter on his lap. I lick my lips and continue, “I picture you and me.” “We’re getting somewhere close, I suspect.” I glare. “We can move on if you don’t want to hear it.” “Rose,” he says affectionately, “I would sit here for eighty more years and listen to you talk. I love the sound of your voice and every meaning behind your words.”

OMG

hand. “If you could live inside my mind right now, you’d realize how crazy you’re making me.” “I want to be in your mind,” I say honestly, the alcohol doing its trick as I run my hands across his chest, popping the buttons of his white shirt. “You’re almost all the way there.” That does it.

i feel like i'm intruding omg

“I’ve done much stranger things, Rose.” I hear the smile in his words, and I immediately relax. “Your turn,” he says. And just like that, he brushes it off so I don’t keep fretting. It felt good to share that, to be more open sexually. I think I could do this more often with him. It’s not so hard.

“What rouses you more, my body or my brain?” His eyes drift to the tops of my breasts while one hand slides up my nightgown, settling on my bottom above my panties. “Both, equally.”

Places in my body are clenching that have never clenched before.

OH

I love the way he’s staring at me. It makes me feel more than just beautiful. I feel like I’m his. Like no one else could possibly compare to me. He doesn’t even have to say the words. I see it in his eyes. I can practically read it in his mind.

OMG

If you could cut off any part of my body and store it in a jar, what would it be?” “Your eyes.” He doesn’t miss a beat. I glare. “And they’d look at me just like that.”

I want more force on my neck, but I can’t speak to ask for it. I’m lost in these feelings.

“You liked that,” he says. “God…yes…” “God’s not in this bedroom, Rose.”

god is always taking his credit i fear

I clench my comforter, and a wetness seeps beneath my ass. I look up and see the tequila spilt all over the bed. And I don’t even care.

omg

This is what I wanted only minutes earlier. The fact that he understood this without me asking—it drives me to a new point, a new climax that I have never, ever experienced before.

TO BE LOVED IS TO BE KNOWN

A thin layer of sweat coats my body, and when he pulls out his fingers, he grips my chin, forcing me to look at him. He makes me watch as he puts his fingers in his mouth, licking off the wetness from between my legs. The image kick-starts my sluggish breathing into a rapid-fire pattern. When he takes his hand out, he says, “Just as I thought.” “What?” “I love the taste of you.” He leans over me and slips those same two fingers into my mouth. He licked most of me clean, and I taste mostly him—his mouthwash and minty breath. I suspect he knew I’d taste more of him than myself. He checks his watch. “Three more minutes.” His lips skim my neck and he whispers, “What I could do to you in that time…”

OMG

As he changes pants and underwear quickly, I realize he came too. I hadn’t even noticed. I was too enamored with my own climax.

OMG

“You should stay here,” he tells me, zipping his black slacks. I glare. “It was worth a try.” He places a hand on the small of my back. “After you.”

I LOVE THEM

“…he started taking pictures of me…I didn’t know what to do, so I called Ryke…” She shakes her head and tears splash onto the floorboards. “…I’m so tired…” I hold her to my chest while she begins to cry. I look up at Ryke, and he stares at her with that same look I saw during the screening party. Concern. Dark empathy.

the way that she called ryke bc she knew he would help

Ryke stares back down at Daisy. “Did he fucking touch you, Daisy?” She shakes her head repeatedly. “No…I’m sorry…” She wipes her eyes quickly and tries to bottle her emotions. “Don’t you ever fucking apologize for another guy’s offense,” he growls. He layers on a few more curse words as he glares at the ceiling. Wow. Ryke jumped up twenty points in my book.

my fav feminist

We’ll be the walls that shield these terrible events from them. We can endure the pain for however long they need to heal. It’s what the four of us agreed to the moment Lily was afraid to step out of the house and meet the world. The moment Lo looked sick each time he tried to convince her to go outside and face the coldhearted media. There was a very dark point where we all believed they’d die together. Where they’d call it quits. There were moments where I wondered how any girl could endure what she was going through. And I think the only reason they both didn’t leave the world was because they refused to leave it together. Leaving separately—causing the other to suffer that horrific loss—I doubt that was even an option in their minds.

OMG

I hook my ankle to her chair and drag her closer to me.

THIS IS SO ATTRACTIVE