Kiss the Sky (Calloway Sisters, #1)

by Krista Ritchie

I envy him—that he can carry all of these talents and never be weighed down by setbacks and hardships. He just keeps moving forward. He makes me believe that anything is possible. I don’t think I’ll ever find someone quite like Connor Cobalt.

AW

I’m glad to have him, even if I was fine with being alone and single beforehand. How we came to this place still feels like a cosmic alignment.

BABIES

So when he saw me at Lily’s old apartment, he asked me on a date. I said yes because he was challenging me to step out of my comfort zone, as he’s done all these years.

“You’re single now but you will find someone very soon,” she tells Daisy. “Well that’s not right,” Daisy says, the cameras rotating to her. “I already have a boyfriend.” Ryke’s boots finally fall to the floor. “Since when?” “Since last week.” Madame Charmaine holds up a finger. “Aha!” she exclaims. “Soon. Very soon.”

Before she answers, Ryke whispers in her ear, and they both suddenly stand at the same time. We’re all on edge until Ryke sits on the floor, taking her spot, and she settles in his chair, her legs crossed underneath her. Ryke has his nice moments. I’ll admit that.

“I’m not screwing my boyfriend. I just don’t want any of you to meet him. He’s kind of dumb.” Ryke’s jaw hardens. “He’s dumb? Then why the fuck are you with him?” Daisy shrugs and avoids his dark eyes. “He’s nice.” Scott suddenly scoots closer to me, his hip pressing against mine. I want to edge towards Connor, but I don’t want to look frightened of Scott.

“And then you?” Connor asks. “We’d all love to know when you’ll die.”

LMAO

I don’t like mms. They sound like unintelligible baby muttering, which is the equivalent of sticking a sharp needle in my ear.

LMAO

I can’t see any of the designs, but I think I spot a white unicorn on one, which has Connor rolling his eyes. Even so, he intertwines his fingers in mine and kisses my knuckles, as though I need extra reassurance before she exposes my future.

Connor grabs my hand and says, “I won’t believe in it if you won’t.”

“You’re going to be married soon, are you not?” Lily slides lower on the loveseat, uncomfortable with the attention, especially as Brett and Ben direct both of their lenses at her. “Yes,” she says in a small, feeble voice. Lo sets their paper plates on the coffee table. “All right,” Connor says, standing and nearing the psychic. “I think that’s enough magic for one night.” He puts a hand on Madame Charmaine’s elbow, and she rises with the pressure. “It was really nice to meet someone who’s dabbled in the dramatic arts, but I think it’s time for you to go.” Loren mouths, thank you, to Connor, and then he rubs Lily’s back.

i love how protective connor gets

If he planted these questions at all…I actually let out a little growl, and Connor puts a hand on my shoulder.

She tries to lift the candle back up, but Loren catches her around the waist, pulling her to his chest before she burns herself.

Daisy picks up the napkin like it’s a dirty diaper, not a ball of fire. “Whoa, guys, this is pretty warm.” “Really?” Ryke says, grabbing her wrist and trying to relinquish the burning napkin from her. “Yeah, really, really. Want to feel?” She smiles playfully, waving the thing towards him. He doesn’t even jerk back. “You’re hilarious.” “I thought I was just smoking hot.”

LMAO

My heart constricts, and I find Lily mumbling the string of apologies into Loren’s shirt. He has his hand on the back of her head, his features sharpened. When he looks up at me, he says, “Thank God for Connor, right?” He tries to play off the pain that contorts his face. “God always has a way of stealing my credit,” Connor says. Loren’s lips curve in a small smile. I think, in this moment, I love Connor more for lightening the mood than for saving my cedar coffee table.

Loren lifts Lily in a front piggy-back so she doesn’t have to meet the camera’s concentrated gaze.

“I think we missed something,” Daisy says to Ryke. He stares down at her. “Apparently I’ve been missing a lot of fucking things lately.” She looks away from him, and when she notices I’m watching her, she just smiles at me. I think Ryke is worried about her. We all are. There’s a small fear she’s going to end up like Lily—sex crazed and compulsive. All this media attention is affecting her at school in ways that no one knows. Daisy won’t talk to us about it. And she could very well blow off steam in a bad manner.

I glance around at the coffee table. White foam. Charred napkins. Burnt food. Dirtied plates. An overturned ottoman. Is that a stain on the rug? Oh… “I’ll clean it up,” Connor tells me.

HE KNOWS HER SO WELL

Virginia Woolf, Jane Austen, Anne Brontë – Rose My lips threaten to rise, and it takes all my strength not to smile. I begin typing and speaking at the same time. “Katarina just notified me that she’s on her way,” I lie. Though after reading a quick email this morning, I do know she’s coming later. Fuck. Kill. Marry. I type back and hit send before pocketing my phone.

my fav intellectuals

“I’m worried that this girl is going to ruin you.” “Her name is Rose, and she’s not going to ruin me.” She’s never met her, but they’ve both been pressuring me about letting them have coffee together or brunch. I just don’t see what good will come of it. And so I make excuses about my mother never having time to see Rose. And Rose never having time to see my mother. It’s a shit thing to do, but I’m certain they’ll hate each other. I also believe Katarina will try to run Rose out of my life, and I want her firmly by my side. My mother pockets her phone and her eyes darken with displeasure. “She’s a powerful girl who started her own business as a teenager. She’s driven, independent, and passionate.” All the things I admire, and yet, I know she’s about to turn every quality into something sinister and wrong.

I dated Caroline. I fucked Caroline. But it was business. Like my relationship with my mother. Like my life. Is it so bad to want something real? “I’m with Rose,” I say sternly. “That’s not going to change.” Her nails rap on the table, frustrated. Katarina Cobalt always gets what she wants, and this is the first time I’ve put on the brakes, unwilling to give in to her requests.

“I do like her better,” he tells me. “She’s prettier.” I wait for him to add something crude like “and she has a pussy” but he doesn’t. Either I’ve been hanging around vulgar people for too long or he’s censoring himself. “Many men would disagree,” I say casually.

OH

“I’m picking up food from the grocery store. I thought I’d get some of Rose’s favorite things. What does she like?” “Me.” He lets out a laugh. “This phone call is being filmed, you know. I have you on speaker.” He says it like he caught me in a spider’s web. “She also loves my cock, my hair, my brain, my body—”

“Oh, and she loves dark chocolate,” I say. “I’ll just grab the condoms. How’s that?” I clutch the phone tighter. “You’re asking for my permission to have sex? That’s kind. And the answer is no. I’m already taken.” He laughs dryly. “You’re a fucking prick.” “I’ve been called worse,” I say, my voice casual still. “But I’m the prick with the girl. And she’s not inflatable.”

She’s trying to ignore Ben and Brett as they film us from two different angles, but I can tell they make her uneasy. At least without Loren around. Her boyfriend seems to take her mind off of everything else, melting her nerves to a placated pool.

I was scared not long ago. Terrified. Someone—who I will not name—put his thumb in my mouth. And I think I liked it.

I open the second text to distract me from all the things I still have to do. Prince Charming, Robin Hood, Beast – Connor Really? I texted him three brilliant female authors and he gives me Disney characters to choose from? Oh, he’s starting a war. I type quickly, not even having to think twice about my choices. Kill. Marry. Fuck. Less than a minute after I hit send, I receive another message. You would fuck the Beast over Robin Hood? Explain. You’re not even going to mention me killing Prince Charming? Deflection in a text is my specialty. Not surprising. I would kill Prince Charming as well. Always believing every girl needs to be rescued from a tower. He’s an asshat. I smile, my stomach fluttering at his words.

What couple texts about killing off Prince Charming? If I seriously evaluate my relationship with Connor, it will rank somewhere closer to strange than normal.

She’s told me that she feels like a completely different person during sex: empowered, strong. It’s the only thing she believes she’s good at, and she’s taken the knowledge to heart. After sex, she’s flooded with shame, thinking she’ll never amount to anything more—that she’s truly just a slut, that her one talent in life is fucking. And she’s compulsive with the act to the point of being unhealthy. A female who’s great at sex—who has it five times more than the average male—is not something she can gloat about. Not in a society that easily labels her as a whore. Lily’s lifestyle is filled with humiliation. There’s no triumph in that. And I wish I could protect her, but you can’t shield a girl from the world without taking her out of it.

She tucks a piece of hair behind her ear and turns to me, trying to ignore him but I see the hurt shadowing her face. “I’m going to start some homework,” she says in a small voice. “Hey…” I wipe my hands on a towel and touch her shoulder before she leaves. “Don’t listen to him,” I whisper. “He’s disgusting.” “I know. Connor told me the same thing this morning.” I frown. “He did?” “Yeah, he said that Scott would make fun of me and I just had to remember that everyone hates Scott and loves me.”

poor lily, i love her friendship with connor

“Will you call Lo?” I ask. Even though he irritates me, he always seems to say the right things to brighten her mood. “Yeah, I think I might.”

“You’re a vile human being,” I tell him coldly, “and I could rip you apart right now, but I actually pity you.” “Why is that?” He narrows his eyes and shuts the pantry door. “Because you just insulted the only girl you should have never picked on. Once you’re on Loren Hale’s shit list, you generally don’t ever get off.” “The guy with the sharp cheekbones, right?” Scott muses, as if he doesn’t know the twenty-two-year-old guy all over the news, who he’s met and lives with. “He doesn’t look that threatening.” “He’s going to make your life hell,” I say with a smile, “for six long months.”

SLAY

“I bought you this. I heard it’s your favorite.” My smile only widens as I turn the dark chocolate over in my hands. Connor. My eyes rise to Scott. “I despise dark chocolate. But nice try.”

LMAO

A few days ago, Daisy found two rats squeaking in her closet, feces inside her boots. If that had been Rose, the house would have been flipped upside down. But Daisy was quiet about the whole ordeal and just mentioned it to Ryke. She wanted us to handle the issue without alarming her sisters.

Watching Ryke inch around a cobwebbed space in search of a dead rat. I smile. Fuck sleep. It’s the little things in life that matter most.

LMAO

“Just use your nose,” I suggest. “Dogs have the best sense of smell.” Lo laughs while I casually take another sip from my coffee.

LMAO

I’m not surprised Rose has reverted back to fixating on Lily and Loren’s problems. She likes caring for her sisters, but I think focusing on Lily and Lo distracts her from dealing with her own issues. I text back: I’ll do it right now. One less problem that she obsesses over, one less stress in her life.

i love them

“My hand and I go way back,” I say nonchalantly and even produce a smile. He seems to relax when he knows he hasn’t pushed me away. “I’m not your brother.” I motion towards the crawl space where Ryke has effectively disappeared. “I’m not going to curse you out for doing something stupid. But I am dating your girlfriend’s older sister, so my own balls are on the line here.” He nods like he understands. “The repercussions of getting into bed with a she-devil.” “And I fucking like her,” I refute, “so make my life easier and use a condom.” I don’t tell him that he’s not ready to be a father, that the idea (for anyone) of Lily becoming pregnant is frightening. I don’t tell him that alcoholism is hereditary or that he’s too busy to raise a kid right now. He knows all of this. He’s heard it a thousand times from Rose and his own brother.

i love loren and connor's relationship sm

I don’t repeat what’s already been said. I want my words to mean something. So I gave him my selfish reason. I’m the asshat who only cares about himself. I am what he needs me to be.

“If this is your way of getting Daisy to room with you, you can forget it. I’m just barely tolerating your friendship.” “Are you fucking kidding me?” Ryke retorts. “There were rats in her room, she’s living near mold, and your first assumption is that I want to fuck her?” Loren’s eyes narrow. “I didn’t say anything about fucking her.” Ryke groans. Daisy is a sore subject between them, clearly. Since Ryke and Loren have a new relationship—just meeting a year and a half ago—there’s tension involving the Calloway girls. Loren grew up with them. Ryke did not. Naturally, Lo would be protective of Daisy, but the problem I have is that he’s constantly consumed by Lily, always taking care of her, that he has no room to do so for another girl, not even one he sees as a little sister. So while Lo believes he’s protecting Daisy from his half-brother, he’s really creating a barrier between Daisy and the only person here who’ll look out for her first rather than last. And yet, I can’t say a word about it. I have to let these things play naturally. My interference won’t do any good. My words wouldn’t resonate with Lo the way I’d want them to. So I stay silent on the matter.

“I’ll fucking room with Scott,” Ryke says, speaking loudly so we can hear him from the hallway. “Daisy can take my room. Or I’ll stay down here and switch with her. I don’t give a shit. None of the girls should be around this.”

he can be such a gentleman

“You can’t censor a girl who’s nearly seventeen, especially not a high fashion model,” I tell him, my words not harsh like his or rough like his brother’s. I’m one-hundred percent even-tempered, calm. At ease. It gets him off the defensive. “She’s heard and seen everything you have, if not more. I’ll call someone to look at the crawl space, but until it happens, Rose would want her sister somewhere clean.”

i love how he always thinks about rose

“You want to use it against Scott,” I reply. “He’s the fucking producer,” Ryke reminds him. “You start a war with Scott and he could turn you into a psycho on the show. Just fucking relax.” “He made Lily bawl!” Lo yells. “I’m not going to sit here for six months and ignore all the shit he says. This is different than social media and gossip blogs. We’re living with this bastard.”

i love how defensive he is of lily

I fight my battles much differently than Loren Hale. And while it may not be as quick or effective—I have to trust that I have the power to keep my friends from falling tragically apart.

chest. “I like club dancing, but I’ve never personally given a lap dance.” “And Daisy has?” Ryke asks in disbelief. “She said she did it once.” Lily relaxes against Lo’s chest, and he holds her close. Ryke lets out an angry breath.

i love how protective he is

All I see is fear, something that I desperately want to take away. I stare right at Scott and break the strained silence with a few words. “Take a seat, Rose.”

I LOVE HIM

“Okay, we have to record this.” She turns as if she’s going to get a camera, and her elbow knocks into Savannah’s Canon Rebel. “Oh…right…never mind.” Only Daisy, a girl who’s swarmed by photographers for her job, would momentarily forget that we’re all being filmed.

she's so real for this

Is this really happening? In front of everyone? And soon-to-be nationally televised. What did I get myself into? His parted lips reach my ear. “Ne pense pas.” Don’t think.

he knows her so well

I don’t have to look to feel him studying me, watching me, a keen eye on all my needs. He knows me too well.

The moment his eyes meet mine again, I say, “Il ne peut pas m’avoir.” He can’t have me. I should stop there. I shouldn’t add anything else. But I don’t want to lose this battle. I don’t make this easy for Connor. I give him the challenge he craves. “Aucun homme ne peut.” No man can. His lips find my ear again. “We’ll see.”