The Secret Fiancée (The Windsors, #5)

by Catharina Maura

My screen flickers just as I open a promising document, and my heart nearly fucking stops. I only have a few seconds left at most, but as it turns out, that’s enough for me to find what I was after. Raya Lewis. I grin to myself just as my screen goes black, satisfaction spreading from my chest throughout my entire body. “Raya,” I whisper. It almost feels sinful to say her name out loud before I’m meant to know it. I lean back in my chair and stare up at the ceiling, my mind whirling. “Who are you, Raya Lewis?”

My phone begins to buzz, snapping me out of my daze, and I smirk when I see the incoming video call. One beat passes, and then another, before I finally pick up. “Are you fucking kidding me, Lex?” Silas says, fury written all over his face.

“What do you know about Raya Lewis? You shut me out before I could read my grandmother’s file on her.” Silas shakes his head. “You know I can’t tell you anything. It’s bad enough that you learned her name.”

“Lex,” Silas says, his tone filled with caution. “You should know that the match isn’t confirmed yet. Raya’s father desperately needs the merger your grandmother offered him, but he’s refusing to make an arranged marriage part of the deal. As it stands, I’m not sure this engagement will happen.” I stare out the window for a moment, an unfamiliar feeling lodging deep in my chest. “No,” I murmur. “I have a feeling she’s the one.”

“Your twenties are supposed to be filled with fun and countless regrettable decisions, Angel. I want you to live a fulfilling life. Go explore. Figure out what it is that makes you happy. Find a hobby or two. Lewis Motors can’t be your whole identity — I need to know that you’ll be okay even if somehow… if someday, the company isn’t there anymore.”

Adam smiles and waves me over when he spots me, only for that smile to fade when he notices the stranger trailing behind me, our hands entwined. “Raya,” Adam says the moment the tray is placed on the table. “Who is this?” “Lex.” His voice is smooth and firm, a hint of danger in it that wasn’t there before. The name suits him — strong yet playful, which is the exact vibe he gives off.

“Good,” he says, his voice bordering on a growl. “How so?” I ask, unable to keep my tone from being flirtatious despite my best attempts. Lex smirks, his hand wrapping around my waist. “He seems nice. I’d have hated being the reason his heart breaks.” My eyes widen, and he chuckles as he gently pushes my hair behind my ear. “Lex,” I say, enjoying the way his name rolls off my tongue. “Bold of you to assume you’d ever stand a chance with me.”

“Truth.” I grin and step closer to her, until her chest brushes against me. Her eyes widen, and my heart begins to beat a little faster as I place my hand on her lower back before leaning in. “Are you truly single, Raya? Your friend has been glaring at me from the moment he noticed us holding hands, and I’m not too sure what to think of it.”

My shoulders relax, my own reaction surprising me. Whether or not she has feelings for someone else shouldn’t matter, yet the thought of my wife pining over someone else aggravates me like nothing else has in quite some time.

What would happen if she asked me a question that would force me to explain why I’m here, and that us meeting isn’t as coincidental as it might seem? I’d planned to assess how she behaves when she doesn’t think people are watching — the way she treats servers, the way she handles herself. I was never supposed to do more than that, but I can’t disentangle myself from her either.

“A secret, huh? How about this one: I’m wondering what you’d look like in a RWC wedding gown — an authentic one.” She laughs again, and that’s when I know I’m fucked. This feels like more than mere attraction — it’s real chemistry and a connection, something I avoid at all costs.

The way she smiles makes a crack appear in the icy fortress that surrounds my heart, and I’m concerned it’s but the first of many. I never wanted to feel this way again, yet I can’t help myself as I pull her closer, one hand threading through her hair. “Damn it,” I groan, something akin to helplessness rushing through me. “Why do you fit against me so perfectly?”

Raya moves her body against mine, and fuck. I’ve never found dancing particularly erotic, but it is when it’s with her.

This isn’t good at all — I wasn’t supposed to be so taken with her after one single meeting.

My eyes widen in surprise, and her embarrassed expression evokes a startled laugh. “It’s not funny, Lex,” she says, her cheeks bright red. Raya turns in her seat and grabs my hand, entwining our fingers before bringing our joined hands to her chest. “I’m begging you — don’t tell Raven about this. Do you have any idea how embarrassed I am? I accused a Windsor of wearing fake Raven Windsor Couture!” My laughter turns into the deep and uncontrollable kind, the kind I haven’t experienced in years. Amusement mixes with relief, and my heart swells.

She draws a shaky breath and turns her face, her nose brushing against my cheek. My eyes fall closed when she presses the sweetest, softest kiss to my cheek, and something odd happens to me. My stomach does a strange fluttery thing, and though I know it isn’t physically possible, I’m certain my heart skips a beat.

“They’re the ones that keep our family running. They keep us together,” he says, clear reverence in his voice. “Each and every one of those women truly have become sisters to me, and I’m not sure I could see our lives without them anymore. They saved me, and they don’t even know it.”

“That’s what my family does — we love fiercely, and there’s nothing we won’t do for those we love. I’d never let anyone hurt them.”

“Oh yeah?” he murmurs. “Yet somehow, your eyes keep me far more captivated than the starry skies above us ever could. I’m not sure I like how easily you’ve put me under your spell.”

My thumb brushes over the edge of her mouth, and her eyes flutter closed. “Can I kiss you, Raya?” My voice is soft, pleading. I don’t recall the last time I felt this way. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this desperate for a mere kiss. I shouldn’t be doing this, shouldn’t let myself be swayed by the mood tonight or the chemistry between us…but fuck, I’m desperate for her. She looks up at me from lowered lashes, her breath hitching as she nods. “I dare you to,” my future wife whispers.

“You make me feel entirely out of control, Raya. I swear this isn’t what I had in mind when I asked you to leave with me. I don’t want you to think there’s only one thing I’m after, but fuck, baby, I can’t tear myself away from you.”

“Raya,” I whisper, pulling back a little to look at her. She reads me with ease and leans in to kiss me. This kiss is different to the ones that came before it. It’s filled with consolation and incredible sweetness that I can’t quite get enough of.

“Leia, sweetheart. I need a favor.” “No,” she replies instantly. “You’re not even going to hear me out?” She laughs, the sound of her kids playing in the background. “Every time you call me asking for a favor, it’s something weird.”

“The last time I helped you, you made me automate parts of your latest car, but you conveniently forgot to tell me you’d programmed the whole operating system to say lewd things in your brother’s voice.” I bite back my laughter. That was funny as fuck.

“What do you want?” he barks. “A favor from both of you, actually.” “Absolutely not.” “I’ll babysit your kids so Leia and you can have a couple of child-free evenings.” He chuckles. “I have amazing in-laws that love taking care of the kids.”

I’ve always wanted a relationship similar to my parents’ marriage; a simple life, the kind you could never have with a Windsor. My night with Lex was incredible, but it was a onetime experience that I have no intention of repeating.

I sigh and slump in my seat, a soft pang hitting my chest as I take in the reactions of every single woman in the room. All of a sudden, the evening we spent together seems inconsequential in light of who he is.

Lex’s eyes meet mine for a moment, and he smiles in a polite, friendly way, like he truly is nothing but my professor. I tear my eyes away and take a deep breath. “Yes,” I tell Adam, my heart clenching. “Let’s try our best and see what happens. I’ll end up working for my dad eventually, but I’m not silly enough to pass up on priceless work experience.” With only a few months to go until graduation, this opportunity seems more invaluable than ever.

Dad twirls Mom around, her red dress swaying as she smiles from ear to ear, her nose crinkling in the cutest way as she looks into his eyes. Similarly, Dad’s full attention is on Mom, and he still looks at her the way he did a decade ago. This is why I walked away from Lex, because I’m after this kind of love. Seeing him again today only reinforced my decision, so why am I filled with a touch of bitterness and a heavy dose of disappointment?

I told him I’d get married if it’d save the company, and Dad lost his mind, refusing to speak to me at all, let alone tell me anything about which company we’d merge with, or who I’d even marry.

She smiles at me and brushes my hair out of my face. “Me too, sweetie. Your father is the reason why I’m opposed to an arranged marriage for you. I want you to have a grand love story of your own, and I want you to be with someone of your own choosing.” For reasons I can’t quite explain, my thoughts drift to Lex and the way we danced together, the stories we shared with each other. If I had a choice, would I choose to spend another evening with him, laughing and playing truth or dare until we’re barely able to stay awake? I sigh and let my eyes fall closed for a moment. Yes. A thousand times over.

“Personal, huh?” Something flashes in his eyes, and he leans in, placing his index finger underneath my chin, tipping my face up. My heart begins to race, and he smiles like he knows exactly how he’s making me feel. “What is it that kept you from me?” His gaze dips down to my lips, and I inhale shakily. “I was at home with my parents for a couple of days,” I tell him, my own gaze drawn to his mouth.

He clenches his jaws for a moment. “That’s one hell of an assumption,” he says, anger bleeding into his voice. “You act like we had meaningless sex, when we both know that isn’t what happened. Can you really look me in the eye and tell me that night meant nothing to you?”

“What changed?” I look into his emerald eyes, unsure what the best thing to do is. “Remember the first question you asked me when we played truth or dare?” Are you truly single, Raya? He nods, his jaw locking. “My answer changed.” He lets go of me and runs a hand through his hair, anger marring his features. “Who?” he asks, his voice surprisingly calm, despite the edge to it. “It’s complicated.”

refuse to believe that you started dating someone else after the night we spent together, Raya. Sure, we didn’t have sex, but the way we danced, the conversations we had, and the way you kissed me? That’s every bit as intimate, if not more so. I can’t be the only one who wants more.”

“I suggest you end whatever it is you started before I find out who he is.” His gaze roams over my face, lingering on my lips for a moment, before returning to my eyes. “You’re mine, Raya Lewis. You just don’t know it yet.”

Who the fuck is he? I’ve spent days trying to figure it out, only to come up empty. More than once, I’ve found myself on campus on days I’m not teaching, tempted to find her and demand answers I’m not entitled to.

My nerves are racked as Bob just stares at me for a few moments. “I’m surprised calling you a psychopath didn’t anger you. I expected you to be the eccentric billionaire the media portrays you to be, but you seem surprisingly normal.” I raise a brow in amusement. “I suppose I’m not sorry to disappoint?”

I smile, only mildly surprised by the thinly veiled threat. “I would never disrespect or mistreat my wife.” I pause for a moment, understanding his concerns. “Nor would I ever ask her for anything she isn’t willing to give, Bob. She’d be my wife, not my property.”

“My daughter wants real love, Lex. The kind her mother and I share. Can you give her that?” I hesitate and look away. “I’ll give her everything she could ever want, but I’m not sure I have it in me to love her.” I take a deep breath and look at him, making him an informal promise. “I would try, though. For my wife, I’d try.”

I nod, realization dawning. If I’m officially being informed of our engagement, then Raya must have found out by now, too. By now, she’ll have found out that I approached her under false pretenses.

“Was any of it real?” I ask, my voice breaking. “Of course,” he says, his voice soft. “I meant it when I said I was genuinely having a great time with you. I didn’t expect to like you as much as I do, Raya.” I step back, out of his reach, a chill running down my spine. “Is that supposed to make me feel better, Lexington?” I ask, incredulous. My jaws snap shut, hurt turning into fury.

I’ve never felt so manipulated, and every memory we created instantly becomes tainted as I begin to analyze everything he’s ever said to me, every interaction. When he told me he had no interest in falling in love, he was warning me, telling me not to expect certain things from him during our marriage. It’s the reason I walked away, only to find out walking away was never an option.

“I’m sorry, Raya,” he says, but it doesn’t ring true — it doesn’t sound sincere. “Your apology makes no difference,” I tell him, my voice breaking. “You could lie to me every single day for the entire duration of our marriage and there isn’t a single thing I could do about it. It’s not like I can just walk away, and we both know it.”

His expression hardens, and he reaches for my hair, pushing it out of my face with a cold look in his eyes. “I’ll agree to that, so long as we’re clear on one thing: you’re mine as much as I’m yours, and I do not share. You can hide our marriage as much as you want, but it doesn’t make it any less real.” The possessiveness in his gaze makes my stomach tighten, and my heart begins to beat a little wilder. From the moment I found out who I’d marry, I’ve wondered whether any of what we shared was real, whether he truly wants me, or whether it was all an act, a role he was playing. I doubt he’s faking this.

“One more thing, Lex.” He raises his brow and nods. “Tell me.” I take a deep breath and square my shoulders. “Three years from now, I want a divorce.”

“I fully respect your choices and your boundaries, Lexington. You made it abundantly clear that you have no interest in love or relationships, but someday, that’s exactly what I want for myself. I understand that it won’t be with you, and I won’t push for things you won’t give. All I ask is that you let me go eventually, so I can find someone who’ll love me like you won’t.”

I walk up to the window and glance out, finding Luca handing out tools with far too much delight for my liking. “For fuck’s sake,” I mutter. “I bet this was Val’s idea. Luca wasn’t this fucking feisty before he married her.”

“Oh, it appears Zane has successfully locked both cars in the driveway. I apologize, Lex. Ares was obstructing my cameras at the rear of the house while Luca obscured the camera at the front door. Well, I’ll be… they blinded me. Such impertinence. Those boys are quite simply… rascals. Such rascals. I shall turn on the watering system this instant.” “Fucking great,” I murmur. Not only did I program too much sass into my AI, but my brothers also show no signs of being deterred. “Hold on, Pippy. They’ll just become that much more annoying if you do that. Just let them in.”

I watch in absolute horror as Dion rolls in an invention I once made to cheer him up — the monstrosity I’d jokingly named the Lex-board. “You’ve gotta be kidding me,” I whisper. “Surprise,” Dion says, his eyes twinkling in delight.