Goddesses in Everywoman:: Powerful Archetypes in Women's Lives

by Jean Shinoda Bolen

For me, the first came from reading of Artemis, who bonded with other women and who rescued her mother while wishing not to be like her.

learned from the example of those two independent goddesses that conflict and hostility may be necessary, even positive, and should not be taken personally.

“I have always thought of a myth as something that never was but is always happening.”

To live a meaningful life has to do with what matters per-sonally: love of what we do, who we love and are loved by, and living by our values. When those values are courage, kindness, compassion, justice, and service, we help make our world a better place. At a time when humanity could self-destruct and take life on the planet down with us, what we do matters beyond us as well.

A Hestia woman will bring in fresh flowers for herself that will never be seen by the absent man. Her apartment or house always feels like home because she lives there, not because she makes it that way for someone else.

The virgin goddesses represent the independent, self-sufficient quality in women.

As archetypes, they express the need in women for autonomy, and the capacity women have to focus their consciousness on what is personally meaningful.

Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love and Beauty (best known by her Roman name Venus) is in a third category all her own as the alchemical goddess. She was the most beautiful and irresistible of the goddesses. She had many affairs and many offspring from her numerous liaisons. She generated love and beauty, erotic attraction, sensuality, sexuality, and new life. She entered relationships of her own choosing and was never victimized.

The Aphrodite archetype motivates women to seek intensity in relationships rather than permanence, to value creative process, and be open to change.

The formation of crystals was an analogy Jung used to help explain the difference between archetypal patterns (which are universal) and activated archetypes (which are functioning in us): an archetype is like the invisible pattern that determines what shape and structure a crystal will take when it does form.1 Once the crystal actually forms, the now recognizable pattern is analogous to an activated archetype.

if a woman who is dominated by Athena—the logic-minded, pragmatic goddess—takes a psychedelic drug, she may find herself enjoying her senses, for a change. What she sees is more intense and beautiful, she becomes completely absorbed in music, feels sensual, sensing she is much more than her mind.

Athena, help me to think clearly in this situation. Persephone, help me to stay open and receptive. Hera, help me to make a commitment and be faithful. Demeter, teach me to be patient and generous, help me to be a good mother. Artemis, keep me focused on that goal in the distance. Aphrodite, help me to love and enjoy my body. Hestia, honor me with your presence, bring me peace and serenity.

Virgin oil is oil made from the first pressing of olives or nuts, extracted without heat (metaphorically, untouched by the heat of emotion or passion).

“A woman who is virgin, one-in-herself, does what she does—not because of any desire to please, not to be liked, or to be approved, even by herself; not because of any desire to gain power over another, to catch his interest or love, but because what she does is true.

If a woman is one-in-herself, she will be motivated by a need to follow her own inner values, to do what has meaning or fulfills herself, apart from what other people think.

When the focus is turned inward, toward a spiritual center—which is the directional focus of Hestia—the woman in whom this archetype is strong can meditate for long periods, undistracted by either the world around her, or by the discomforts of maintaining a particular position.

A woman who is competent and self-assured, who accomplishes something in the world, and who appears to be enjoying the opportunity to actualize her intelligence and capabilities is exhibiting a “masculinity complex.” According to Freud, she is acting as if she believes that she hasn’t been castrated, when of course she has. No woman really wants to excel—the need to excel is a symptom of a masculinity complex, a denial of “reality.”

Artemis as Goddess of the Hunt and Goddess of the Moon was a personification of an independent feminine spirit. The archetype she represents enables a woman to seek her own goals on terrain of her own choosing.

Although she has been linked romantically with several men, she has not married—fittingly for a woman who represents a “one-in-herself” virgin goddess, who “belongs to no man.”

Artemis is the archetype responsible for the at-oneness with themselves and with nature felt by some women when they backpack into forested mountains, fall asleep under the moon and stars, walk on a deserted beach, or gaze across the desert and feel themselves in spiritual communion with nature.

There are for starters, grandeur and silence, pure water and clean air. There is also the gift of distance. . .the chance to stand away from relationships and daily ritual. . .and the gift of energy. Wilderness infuses us with its own special brand of energy. I remember lying by the Snake River in Idaho once and becoming aware I could not sleep. . .natures’s forces had me in hand. I was engulfed by a dance of ions and atoms. My body was responding to the pervasive pull of the moon.

She avoids men who insist on being the center of her life. Standing tall psychologically, as the goddess herself did physically, she feels ridiculous attempting to play the role of “the little woman.”

Men for whom an Artemis is “my kind of woman” are often attracted to her as a twin or kindred spirit—a female counterpart of themselves. Or they may be attracted to her independent, assertive, spirit and strength of will, which may be undeveloped in themselves.

As long as there is an element of “pursuit” on her part, an Artemis woman may be interested in a man. But if he moves closer emotionally, wants to marry her, or becomes dependent on her, the excitement of the “hunt” is over. Moreover, she may lose interest or feel contempt for him if he shows “weakness” by needing her.

Until then, from the man’s vantage point, she is like a mermaid: half of her is a beautiful woman, half of her is cold and inhuman.

Artemis was a “now you see her, now you don’t” goddess, who could literally disappear into the forest, much as wild animals can sometimes be seen one moment and gone the next.

These two endings can represent the two possible effects of Artemis. On the one hand, she rescues women and feminine values from the patriarchy, which devalues or oppresses both. On the other, with her intense focus on goals she can also require that a woman sacrifice and devalue what has been traditionally considered “feminine”—those receptive, nurturing, related-to-others, willing-to-make-sacrifices-for-the-sake-of-others qualities. Every Artemis woman is likely to have some part of her that is like Iphigenia—a young, trusting, beautiful part that represents her vulnerability, her potentiality for intimacy, and her dependency on others. Will she rescue and protect this aspect of herself so that it can grow, even as she moves through her life, aiming for what matters to her? Or will she require that she kill this Iphigenia part of herself, in order to be as focused, hard, and clear as possible?

When Athena rules in a woman’s psyche, she—like women who resemble either Artemis or Hestia—is motivated by her own priorities. Like the Artemis archetype, Athena predisposes a woman to focus on what matters to her, rather than on the needs of others.

As the archetype of “the father’s daughter,” Athena represents the woman who quite naturally gravitates toward powerful men who have authority, responsibility, and power—men who fit the archetype of the patriarchal father or “boss man.”

She has a canny ability to spot winners. She is attracted to power, either seeking it herself—often with the help of a successful older male mentor—or more traditionally, as a companion, wife, executive secretary, or ally of an ambitious and able man.

“power is the best aphrodisiac.”

Athena women do not suffer fools lightly. They are impatient with dreamers, are unimpressed with men who are in search of anything otherworldly, and are unsympathetic when ...

When it comes to men, only heroes need apply.

She was sadly reluctant to tell him and found the actual confrontation painful, yet her bottom-line conclusion was that he must go. And once the unpleasant task was done, she felt a sense of relief.

Hestia provided the sanctuary where people bonded together into the family—the place to come home to.

Hestia’s way of perceiving is by looking inward and intuitively sensing what is going on. The Hestian mode allows us to get in touch with our values by bringing into focus what is personally meaningful. Through this inner focusing, we can perceive the essence of a situation. We can also gain insight into other people’s character and see the pattern or feel the significance of their actions.

The inward Hestia may also become emotionally detached and perceptually inattentive to others in her surroundings as she attends to her own concerns. Again, this detachment is characteristic of all three virgin goddesses. Moreover, adding to her tendency to withdraw from the company of others, Hestia’s “one-in-herselfness” seeks quiet tranquility, which is most easily found in solitude.

A woman who acquires a sense of inner harmony as she accomplishes everyday tasks is in touch with this aspect of the Hestia archetype.

She doesn’t have one eye on the clock, because she is neither on a schedule nor “putting in time.” Consequently, she is in what the Greeks called kairos time—she is “participating in time,” which is psychologically nourishing (as are almost all experiences in which we lose track of time.)

With Hestia as an inner presence, a woman is not “attached” to people, outcomes, possessions, prestige, or power. She feels whole as she is. Her ego isn’t on the line. Because her identity isn’t important, it is not tied to external circumstance. Thus she does not become elated or devastated by whatever happens. She has

The inner freedom from the practical desire, The release from action and suffering, release from the inner And the outer compulsion, yet surrounded By a grace of sense, a white light still and moving. T. S. Eliot, The Four Quartets4

The power of life comes from within; go there. Pray; meditate. Reach for those luminous places in yourself.

For her husband, sex with her is “like coming home” or “a sanctuary.”

She can be a little too detached when she goes inward, and her love may be a shade too impersonal and undemonstrative.

she is far from impoverished in spirit. Often she lives alone in her last years, with no regrets about life and no fears about death.

The term “Medea Syndrome” aptly describes the vindictive Hera woman who feels betrayed and discarded and who goes to extremes for revenge.

She experiences her child’s growing autonomy as an emotional loss for herself. She feels less needed and rejected, and as a result may be depressed and angry.

come to accept the existence of human seasonal changes. She may acquire an earth wisdom that mirrors nature. Such a woman learns that she can live through whatever happens, knowing that just as spring follows winter, so changing human experience follows certain patterns.

Unlike them, however, Aphrodite was never victimized and did not suffer. In all her relationships, the feelings of desire were mutual; she was never a victim of a man’s unwanted passion for her. She valued emotional experience with others more than either independence from others (which motivated the virgin goddesses), or permanent bonds to others (which characterized the vulnerable goddesses).

What she seeks differs from what the virgin goddesses seek, but she is like them in being able to focus on what is personally meaningful to her; others cannot divert her away from her goal. And in that what she values is solely subjective and cannot be measured in terms of achievement or recognition,