Goddesses in Everywoman:: Powerful Archetypes in Women's Lives

by Jean Shinoda Bolen

a book written by “Renee,” Autobiography of a Schizophrenic Girl,

“For two personalities to meet is like mixing two different chemical substances: if there is any combination at all, both are transformed.”

Whenever Aphrodite consciousness is present, energy is generated: lovers glow with well-being and heightened energy; conversation sparkles, stimulating thoughts and feelings.

Work becomes invigorating rather than draining. Absorbed by whom we are with, or by what we are doing, we lose track of time—a characteristic that Aphrodite shares with Hestia.

The image of Aphrodite emerging from the sea was immortalized during the Renaissance by Botticelli in “The Birth of Venus”—sometimes referred to irreverently as “Venus on the Half-Shell.”

As a symbol, Hermaphroditus can represent bisexuality (erotic attraction toward both sexes) or androgyny (the existence, in one person, of qualities of abilities traditionally considered either masculine or feminine).

She has a personal magnetism that draws others closer into an erotically charged field that enhances sexual awareness. The “voltage” goes up, and both feel attractive and vibrant as they are drawn toward each other.

She enjoys being the center of attention, likes wearing pretty clothes and being fussed over. She’s usually not a shy child, and may have even been called “a little ham” for her impromptu performances and other attention-getting efforts, which charmed her audiences even then.

Mothers have a range of reactions to Aphrodite daughters, too. Some mothers become strict and controlling, overreacting to teenage music and dress styles, even when their daughters are behaving appropriately for their age group.

inflammable

She can get into the spirit of play and make-believe very easily. She seems to charm children into behaving well, and to inspire them with her infectious enthusiasm for whatever interests her. These are wonderful qualities in a mother. The children of Aphrodite women thrive and develop their individuality if Demeter qualities are also present.

The second pattern appears even more hopeless. Here the woman is in love with a man who makes it clear that he wants nothing to do with her. He avoids her when he can and feels cursed by her unrequited love. Again, her obsessive involvement with him may span years, effectively preventing the possibility of any other relationship. In pursuit of him, she may have followed him to another city (as one of my patients did) or may have been arrested for trespassing or forcibly ejected from his house.

“Sorting the seeds” is, then, an inward task, requiring that a woman look honestly within, sift through her feelings, values, and motives, and separate what is truly important from what is insignificant.

Acquiring the golden fleece without destroying Psyche is a metaphor for the task of gaining power and remaining a compassionate person.

Many women allow themselves to be imposed on and diverted from doing something for themselves. They cannot accomplish whatever they set out to do, or what is best for them, until they learn to say no.

If a woman decides for herself “which goddess gets the golden apple,” basing that decision on the strength of the goddess in her, then whatever she decides will be meaningful to her. It may or may not be supported by her family and culture, but it will feel authentic.

This potential shift happens at every major new stage of life—adolescence, adulthood, retirement, menopause, as well as midlife. When a time of transition comes, if the ego is in charge of an orderly, reflective, conscious process, then the woman considers priorities, loyalties, values, and reality factors.

When a person feels that she didn’t have a choice and was forced to give up something important by outer circumstance, or inner compulsion, she feels angry, impotent, and depressed. Resentment saps her vitality and prevents her from concentrating fully on whatever she is doing, however meaningful the task may be.

“I see who I am and what the circumstances are. I affirm these qualities as me, I accept reality as it is.” Only then can the energy bound up in an issue be freed for other use.

For example, the independent woman with Athena qualities, who never asks for help and never seems to need anyone, may develop asthma attacks, or ulcers.

Whether they describe the reactions of their work self or their private self, the mother or the artist in them, how they react when they are by themselves or when they are in a couple, will affect their answers. The answers and thus the personality profile so often seems to depend on “which goddess” in the woman is taking the test.

If some goddesses are inarticulate and difficult to recognize—their presence only surmised through an acting-out episode, a psychosomatic symptom, or a mood—she may need time and attention to perceive who they are.

To be a heroine on her own heroic journey, a woman must begin with the attitude (or even at first act “as if”) that her choices do matter. In the process of living from this premise, something happens: a woman becomes a choicemaker, a heroine who shapes who she will become.

As children, each of these people somehow saw themselves as protagonists in a terrible drama. Each had an inner myth, a fantasy life, or imaginary companions.

I recall the one vivid lesson from a college course in economics that I have over the years found applicable in psychiatry: the true cost of anything is what we give up in order to have it.

Or she may feel victimized and accuse, “We are always doing what you want to do!” without acknowledging that she never took a position or stood her ground.

Every heroine must reclaim the power of the snake.

The image is a terra cotta of a beautiful woman or goddess (thought to represent Demeter, in the Terme Museum, Rome) rising from the earth, holding a sheaf of wheat, flowers, and a snake in each hand.

When the danger to the dreamer comes in human form, as attacking or ominous men or women, the danger often is from hostile criticism or a destructive role (while animals often seem to represent feelings or instincts).

In retrospect, many such dark periods turn out to be rites of passage, a time of suffering through which a woman has learned something of value, and has grown. Or she may have been, for a while, like Persephone in the underworld, a temporary captive who later becomes a guide for others.

T. S. Eliot, in The Four Quartets, writes,1 We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time.