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“Is it too cheesy?” he asks. I lean up and kiss him on the lips. “Nope.” “Hopefully we don’t set the house on fire.” “Only with our passion,” I say, just so I can see him cringe. I bite my lower lip as I grin at him. “Too much?” “Come here, you,”
“I turned off my phone and computer,” he says. Tears prick my eyes. So much for not crying. “Really?” “It’s just the two of us, Red. I can show you.” I nuzzle his beard as I shake my head. “I trust you.”
“Cooper,” she says. “I think you should listen to her. And your dad. Something’s not right.” “You too?” I grind out. “Penny, seriously?” “It’s just weird that he asked you for all that money.” Her eyes search mine. “Think about it, Cooper. What grown man asks his nephew for that much money?” “It’s to pay off his rehab costs.” She shakes her head. Her voice is very soft. “No rehab is over a quarter of a million dollars.” “What, are you some expert on it?”
I’m the biggest idiot in the world. Never Dad’s first choice. My uncle’s second choice of which nephew to swindle, apparently. Couldn’t even be first at that. Now that Penny has heard the whole goddamn mess, she’s going to run screaming in the other direction. I convinced myself that she loved me but just didn’t know how to say it yet, but the truth is, it was only a matter of time before she left. After this? I don’t want her to be with me either. I’m a fool, and she can do better.
“Penny,” James says, pushing me to the door, “go find Cooper.” I stop in the doorway. “No.” “No?” I look around him at Richard. “You know, you’ve been a shitty dad to him.” He blinks. “Excuse me?” Blake, still crumpled up on the floor, laughs. “Oh, this is funny.” “Shut up,” I snap at him. “You’re an impotent fucking worm and I hope I never see you again after tonight.”
“All he’s ever wanted is to feel like you cared.” “I do care.” He winces as he rolls his shoulder. “I would do anything for him.” “So tell him! Tell him that!”
“He knows that—” “No. He doesn’t, that’s the problem. Do you know how excited he was to tell you he made captain? And how upset he was when you didn’t tell him how proud you were? Maybe if you weren’t so shitty about telling your son that you loved him, he wouldn’t feel like he needed to buy his uncle’s affection.”
“You need to tell him how you feel—otherwise he won’t trust you, and he’ll just keep getting hurt. Trust me, I know.”
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go find my boyfriend. Because I love him, and I’m not afraid to tell him that.”
“It’s okay. I mean, I’m worried about you, and I’m sort of worried I am going to lose a toe, but it doesn’t matter. Because I love you.”
“I do. And this isn’t for you, it’s for us. It’s like you said.” “I’m never anyone’s first choice, Pen. You don’t have to pretend I’m yours.”
“You are my first choice. That’s why I’m standing here right now.”
“Why did you want to get with me in the first place?” He laughs, and it’s an ugly sound, nothing like his usual melodic laughter. “You wanted experiences without strings. A safe option. You wanted something from me, and I delivered it, and maybe this is where it ends.” “No.” My voice sounds thin. Scared. “No, goddamnit, you’re not listening to me. That’s not what this is.”
“It’s like I’ve been falling all my life, and I finally landed somewhere safe. You’re safe, and I love you. That’s the truth.” “Penny,” he says, his voice breaking. “Please, Cooper. I’m choosing you first. Over everything. Choose me back.”
“I’d choose you in every universe. I took my heart out of my chest and handed it over to you, raw and red, and it’s yours forever. You own it, and even if you try to give it back, if you abandon it, I won’t take it.”
“Will you take mine?” He tilts my head up and kisses me. “Yes.” “Forever?” “Forever.” I sob-laugh, wiping at my eyes. “Good. Because we need each other. And what cat parents would we be if we got divorced?”
“Don’t even say that word,” he murmurs. “When we get married, that’s it, Red. Tangy’s just going to have to deal with us being insufferable.”
Marriage. I like the sound of that. As far as I’m concerned, we belong to each other already, but one day, it would be nice to make it official. I don’t care what the future looks like, so long as I get to spend it with him.
“You’re shaking. We’re not declaring our love for each other and then dying in a snowbank in the middle of Manhattan, come on.”
“He might not deserve another chance, but your dad does. Don’t let things between you wither, Cooper. It takes a long time for them to grow green again.”
“Penny and I went ice skating last night,” I say. “At Wollman’s. Remember last year?” “I remember I almost broke my wrist,” Dad says dryly. “That girl is a firecracker.” “Be mad at me if you want, but don’t be mad at her.” “Mad?” He leads the way to a bench just inside the park. “I’m not mad at her or you, son. I’m mad at myself.”
“Cooper, I haven’t been a very good father to you. When I saw how you looked last night—my heart broke. I’m sorry that I fucked up things so badly. And I needed to hear it. I hope you’re planning on keeping that girl around, because you could use her in your corner.” I duck my head, a small smile on my face. “She’s the best.”
“Let’s go watch the skating for a while. And tell me more about this girl you’re going to marry one day.”
“Cooper?” He’s in the hallway . . . with Sebastian. Who is shirtless and scowling. Standing across from them both, though, is Mia. She’s dressed and everything, but her lipstick is smudged. Wait, Mia? “When were you going to tell us?” Cooper is demanding. “After the wedding?” I lower the alarm clock. “Wait, are you guys together?” “It’s complicated,” Sebastian says. At the same time, Mia says, “Hell no.” “Oh my God.” Tangy slinks out of Sebastian’s room, meowing. I scoop her up and hold her close to my chest. “In front of my daughter, too?”
“Wait, are you wearing elf ears?” I blush, snatching them off my ears. “No.” “Don’t change the subject,” Cooper says, his tone positively threatening. “Explain this.” “There’s no subject,” Mia hisses. She hoists her bag over her shoulder. “There was never any subject. And anyway, I’m leaving.”
I just smile. “She’s got hair like sunset and eyes like the sky.” “A poet, then.” “Just lovesick.”
I squeeze her ass in turn. “Freckles everywhere. It’s like the sun can’t stop claiming her. Long fucking legs. She used to figure skate, and it shows.”
“You make a good cowboy, you know,” I say. He kisses my head as he loops his arm around my waist. “Only if you’ll be my cowgirl.”
“You fit me so perfectly,” he whispers. “Fucking hell, Penny, I love you.” I blink back sudden tears. Tempe is for crying. Not here. “I love you too.” I reach back; he takes my hand in his. “Now fuck me like you mean it.”
“Beautiful,” I say softly. “Yeah,” Cooper says, his voice equally quiet. I glance over. He’s not looking at the view.
“Beautiful,” she murmurs. I swallow the sudden lump in my throat. “Yeah.” It’s not the canyon I’m looking at. It is beautiful, absolutely, full of history and unbridled wilderness, but I can’t tear my gaze away from her.
The hopes she has for her career. Our wedding; whether we’ll elope or have a party. The child we’d like to have one day.
“I dreamt about it,” she says as she pants alongside me, heading back uphill from Bright Angel Bridge. “A boy. I think I’d like to have a boy.” “Did he have your hair?” “Yes.” I grin. “Then I approve.” “We’ll show him how to skate,” she says. She gives my fingers a quick squeeze. “He might not love it like we do, but we can try.” “Maybe he’ll be a figure skater.” “Or a hockey player,” she counters.
“Or neither. Which would be fine. Even if he wants to play football, I guess I’ll find a way to deal with it.” Her smile makes my chest ache. “I just like the idea of him being ours,” she says. “Or her. Or them. Whoever they are. Pieces of you and pieces of me.” “One day.”
“I figured something else out, too,” she says. “Yeah?” She traces over the point of my Andúril tattoo. “For our commitment. Let’s get matching tattoos.” “Seriously?” “If you don’t mind getting another one.” “Never.”
“Do you have an idea?” “It’s so dorky.” “I’m listening.” “I thought maybe . . . something in Elvish. Sindarin, I mean.” I deliberately pinch my arm. “Red. Are you joking? Am I dreaming?” She shakes her head, laughing. “No.” “We can get something done in Sindarin or Quenya, but with Tengwar script.”
“This is why I love you.” “I’ll ask the Lord of the Rings forum I’m in about the spelling. If you’re sure.” Her eyes shine with excitement. “I’m sure. Let’s find someone to do it soon.” “And this is why I love you.” She pats my chest. “I know, babe.”
“I love your daughter.” Penny rests her head on my shoulder. “And because I’m a lucky bas—really lucky, she loves me back. She tells me all the time.” “After you say it once, why stop?” I kiss her temple. “You can say it all damn day and I’ll never get tired of it. “I wish I could have known you,”
“How she feels about me is imprinted in my skin. It’s everywhere. She’s everywhere. She’s the best person I’ve ever known. If you could see her now, you’d be proud of who she’s become.”
“But things are different now. I wouldn’t give up you. You’re the one thing I can’t give up. And I think she’d be happy about that.” I kiss her everywhere I can reach. “I love you.” I love you. I love you.
