Hold Me While You Wait

by Kimberly Brown

“If you make me choose, you will not like my choice.” I meant that with everything in me. Did I love him? Yes. Would I ever allow him to come between me and my niece? Hell. Fucking. No.

“Well, I’m sure you didn’t tell him it’s because you’re a selfish, inconsiderate, heartless bastard.”

He was made of chocolate with vitiligo patches sporadically coating his smooth, exposed skin.

“What’s your name?” I asked. She sighed. “Deanna Danielle Tripp.” “And who are you?” “The daughter of a king.” “And that means you’ll grow to be what?” “A queen.” “Do queens tip their crowns?” “No.” I cupped her chin and lifted her head. “Look at yourself. Five affirmations… give them to me.” “I am strong. I am beautiful. I am kind. I am intelligent. I am important.” “Tell me four things you love about yourself.” “I’m a straight-A student. I’m creative. I’m a good cook. I’m organized.” I smiled. “Now, tell me three things I love about you.” “My laugh. My smile. My hugs.” “Two things I always tell you.” “You love me and you’re lucky to be my daddy.” “Last thing… Who has the power to make you feel bad about yourself?” “Nobody.”

“She was being so mean to that girl for no reason other than the way she looks and how quiet she is. You and my mama taught me to never stand by and watch somebody be bullied.”

“I bet she won’t bother her again.”

My eyes passed over her thick frame as I licked my lips. She was definitely collard greens, fatback, and cornbread fed.

“I want to know you. Everything from your favorite color to what makes your mind wander at night. I wanna know what makes you happy, what makes you sad. I want to know what you need that you haven’t gotten from anybody else.”

“I’m a gentleman, Ms. Hilton. I open doors. I pull out chairs. I treat you like a lady until it’s time to be otherwise. You feel me?”

She had a lot of nerve, make that muthafuckin audacity, to show up here.

“No. Your words were you didn’t want kids. And that’s fine. I accepted that, and I accepted you would never be a part of Deanna’s life. But you don’t get to come in here after twelve fucking years asking to get to know my daughter. That shit ain’t happening. You can take your check and get out.” I balled up the check and tossed it at her feet. “We don’t need shit from you.”

“I made a mistake,” she said softly.

“No, you made a choice. Live with it.”

“Can I taste you, baby?” he whispered. “Really taste you?” “The kids—” “Respectfully, fuck them kids right now.”

“Tell that nigga, this is my pussy now,” he instructed as he teased my G-spot. “And every time you think of me, my pussy is gon’ cream just like this.”

God, why did You send me this man? Does he know that I’m bilingual and I speak nasty muthafucka too?

“Don’t you wanna cum for me, Somya?” I whispered in her ear. “Yes, Daddy.” I smirked. “Daddy, huh? Who’s Daddy’s good girl?” “I am… shit!” “Don’t you wanna cum on Daddy’s dick? I’ve got you right where I want you. Cum for me, baby.”