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“It’s her or this family.” “If you make me choose, you will not like my choice.” I meant that with everything in me. Did I love him? Yes. Would I ever allow him to come between me and my niece? Hell. Fucking. No.
“I want to know you. Everything from your favorite color to what makes your mind wander at night. I wanna know what makes you happy, what makes you sad. I want to know what you need that you haven’t gotten from anybody else.”
I wasn’t looking for a trauma bond. More like someone who understood what it meant to hold on to the things you loved most.
God had to be playing with me right now. There was no way this man was this perfect. Something had to be wrong with him. There was no way he matched me like this.
“Don’t let me fall in these heels, now,” she jested. “Trust me, baby. I’m more than ready to catch you.”
“You’ll find that I am a simple woman who enjoys simple pleasures. I didn’t grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth. I don’t need five-star restaurants and limos. Just good vibes and good energy.”
The important thing is you aren’t where or who you used to be. You chose a path that many people never do… to be better. Ain’t no shame in that.”
Bookish Bliss was a black owned bookstore that carried books by black authors only. It was beautiful to see titles that centered around my people all in one place. Too often I went into big named stores only to be disappointed at the lack of diversity. There were barely any black or indigenous people of color on the shelves, and it was disheartening.
I treated women how I wanted these little nappy headed boys to treat my baby girl.
I didn’t mind dropping money on a woman I was interested in. It wasn’t to show off or prove that I wasn’t cheap. Time with a woman was an investment. You invested in doing things she liked to do. You invested in getting to know her, her personality, and her love language. All that shit.
We’d had our chance. We’d had our happy beginning, and a fucked up ending. Leaving him was a hill that I was willing to die on. Taking him back was never in the cards.
“You know I’m a hopeless romantic. I believe everyone should find an equally yoked partner and ride off into the sunset.”
“We can behave like adults, or we can behave like animals. I know what I’m capable of, but you don’t. Fuck with me or don’t fuck with me. But don’t ever fuckin’ play with me.”
“You’re precious cargo, baby. I wouldn’t put you in danger.”
But nothing changes people like marriage, death, and kids. Those three things would have people showing you their true colors every time.
“He doesn’t have to be fine, fine. As long as I’m attracted to him, that’s all that matters. Smart. Loves kids. Funny. Respectful. Charming. He has to know what he wants out of life. And he has to look at me like I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to him.”
In true Black Thanksgiving fashion, I hadn’t eaten all morning to prepare myself for this very moment.
Sometimes, letting people know where they had you fucked up was freeing in itself.
Life was short. We didn’t know the day or the hour in which we would depart this earth. The least we could do with the time we had left was try to right our wrongs and love those that loved us.