Hold Me While You Wait

by Kimberly Brown

Who has the power to make you feel bad about yourself?” “Nobody.”

She was cute, but she wasn’t ready for a nigga like me. I was soft for my kid, but in every other aspect of life, I was still that rough, aggressive ass nigga.

I wasn’t afraid of a soul walking this earth. I was afraid of what I might do to anybody that fucked with my kid to get at me. Behind Deanna, I’d smile in my mugshot.

My eyes trailed his handsome face from his eyes down to those perfect, full lips. He looked like he sucked a mean clit. I felt my eyes widen at the thought. Here I was doing too much again.

He was sweet with a little thug appeal, and I liked that.

“I’m a gentleman, Ms. Hilton. I open doors. I pull out chairs. I treat you like a lady until it’s time to be otherwise. You feel me?” My clit thumped. She felt exactly where he was coming from without him having to say it. I swallowed hard as I nodded. “I feel you.” “Good. I trust this is the first and last time we have this conversation, love.” I smiled. “Yes, sir.” He reached for my hand and helped me out of the truck. Lacing my fingers through his, we walked to the front door of the restaurant.

“So this reading hobby. What is your collection looking like?” “You really wanna know about my books?” “I wanna know everything about you, baby.”

“You’ll find that I am a simple woman who enjoys simple pleasures. I didn’t grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth. I don’t need five-star restaurants and limos. Just good vibes and good energy.”

“A twenty-four-hour bookstore. You said you loved to read. I thought I’d add to your collection. Maybe I’ll get a book or two for myself and we can read it together.” I knew the seat of my panties were ruined. “Do you know what you’re doing, sir?” “You’re about to run my pockets, but I’m okay with that. I got it.”

I didn’t mind dropping money on a woman I was interested in. It wasn’t to show off or prove that I wasn’t cheap. Time with a woman was an investment. You invested in doing things she liked to do. You invested in getting to know her, her personality, and her love language. All that shit.

“We can behave like adults, or we can behave like animals. I know what I’m capable of, but you don’t. Fuck with me or don’t fuck with me. But don’t ever fuckin’ play with me.”

He wouldn’t grow up to be a fuck nigga, doing fuck nigga shit. He would love and respect women, especially black women.

If my kids weren’t a fan of them, then that was it. There was no future.

“Can I taste you, baby?” he whispered. “Really taste you?” “The kids—” “Respectfully, fuck them kids right now.”

I devoured his lips, trying to taste every drop of me on him. His free hand came around my neck, where he gave a generous squeeze. “Tell that nigga, this is my pussy now,” he instructed as he teased my G-spot. “And every time you think of me, my pussy is gon’ cream just like this.”

Does he know that I’m bilingual and I speak nasty muthafucka too?

Be a father to our son and leave me the fuck alone. Stop dipping and dabbling in my business because we’re good over here.” “I know once the hood comes out of you, you mean business.” I couldn’t help but to laugh. I was cool, calm, and collected for the most part. But about principle and my kids, I would act a whole ass fool.

“He doesn’t have to be fine, fine. As long as I’m attracted to him, that’s all that matters. Smart. Loves kids. Funny. Respectful. Charming. He has to know what he wants out of life. And he has to look at me like I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to him.”

“She’s a person and her feelings matter. The problem is you don’t think they do. Children deserve apologies from adults too.

You don’t stop dating the person you’re with after you get them. Don’t ever get that comfortable. As hard as a man works to get you, he needs to work just as hard to keep you, baby.”

“A non-muthafuckin factor, bitch.”

We shared an embrace and a deep sensual kiss. As she kissed me, I felt the tension in my body disappearing. My heartbeat evened out and a sense of warmth spread throughout my body. She was it for me. I didn’t care who came before her. She was absolutely it for me, now and always.

“Goodness and love. A tough, yet gentle soul. Peace. You are peace, Xander. You have this aura that just makes me comfortable. It draws me to you.

Sometimes, letting people know where they had you fucked up was freeing in itself.