Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well

by Douglas Stone

This dynamic is rampant in the workplace. Performance management systems are set up to achieve a number of important organizational goals, including both evaluation and coaching. We evaluate employees to ensure that they receive fair promotion and pay, that they are clear about incentives and standing, and that their work is done efficiently and well. We coach to help people grow and improve, preparing them for greater success on that next rung up. All too often, feedback that is offered as coaching is heard as evaluation. (“You’re telling me how to improve, but really, you’re saying you’re not sure I’m cut out for this.”) And efforts to elicit coaching from mentors yield feedback that is laced with evaluation, producing defensiveness and frustration rather than learning. WHAT HELPS? Two things keep us on track: getting our purposes aligned, and separating (as much as possible) evaluation from coaching and appreciation.