Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well

by Douglas Stone

Artificial intelligence expert Roger Schank has an observation about this: He notes that while computers are organized around managing and accessing data, human intelligence is organized around stories.2 We take in selective data and make immediate interpretations, resulting in instant judgment-laced labels: That meeting was a waste of time. Your skirt’s too short. Those people at the next table can’t parent properly.

When something goes wrong and I am part of it, I will tend to attribute my actions to the situation; you will tend to attribute my actions to my character.10

What’s the actual feedback? Our mind takes what was said and immediately tells a story. It’s important to peel back that story and ask yourself, what exactly was the feedback? What was said?