Each of us sees only part of the problem (the part the other person is contributing). Systems Insight Number One is this: Each of us is part of the problem. Maybe not to the same extent, but we’re both involved, each affecting the other. If you didn’t snore—or whatever you want to call it—your wife might be able to sleep. If your wife were less stressed—or less stubborn—she might be able to sleep. It takes the two of you being the way you are to create the problem. That’s how systems work.
