But her colleagues didn’t want her to seem respectful; they wanted her to feel respectful. Annabelle should assume that people will ultimately read her true attitude and feelings, whatever they are. So she has two choices. She can either (1) discuss her true feelings—explain why she is frustrated with her colleagues, where her expectations come from, and what would help; or (2) work hard to change her feelings—not how she comes across, but her genuine underlying feelings.
