I'm Starting to Worry About This Black Box of Doom

by Jason Pargin

Every fantasy blockbuster has the same premise: A reluctant nobody is finally put into a position where he or she has to go on an adventure. Luke’s aunt and uncle are dead, Harry Potter’s homelife is a shit sandwich, Neo’s job sucks, Bruce Wayne’s parents got eaten by bats.

If we make good time, we can arrive in Albuquerque by maybe nine P.M. tonight and find someplace to stay. Ooh, we can swing by and see the house where they filmed Breaking Bad! Apparently, it’s just a regular house, and there’s people living there who get really mad about all the tourists—they run out and yell at you.”