I'm Starting to Worry About This Black Box of Doom

by Jason Pargin

He physically recoiled at the sight of it, mainly because not a single reasonable person has ever carried money that way.

yeah red flag

This is all secondhand information; I of course did not have access to the scene, as I am merely a former federal agent who has spent the last six months getting high and watching road rage compilations on YouTube.”

the height of luxury right there

Ben (short for “Benadryl”),

amazing name choic

This was true, but it turned out that Key’s actual favorite hobby was buying supplies for hobbies.

relatable

“Just to be clear,” said Pedro, “you think your kid partnered up with a hot chick he’d never met before to take an illegal trip out of state in exchange for a huge pile of cash from the Russian mob, and you’re ashamed of this? I wish my boy would do something that cool. He never leaves his room.”

absolutely speechless by this reaction

“I just watched a TikTok about it, but I wasn’t giving it my full attention, as I was driving and eating at the same time.”

*sighs* nevermind

“Then give me the fob, fuckstick.”

that's a new one

“I mean, this is what an adventure is, just overcoming obstacles. We had a problem—a crazy guy wanted to steal our shipment—and we solved it, we lost him. For real, this time.”

yes that is a great example of standard textbook obstacles

“That’s understandable. But you have to rev down at some point. Your nervous system can’t stay amped up forever; you’ll burn out. We were in danger, we dealt with it, now the danger has passed.” She took in and let out a long breath. “Now we can just settle in and drive. Just relax.”

my nervous system stays amped up but that's why i take zoloft

If so, it would be the second time Patrick had put her in handcuffs, though the previous incident had not involved an arrest.

ok gurl get it

He never hit her, but played mind games, undermined her, humiliated her, made her feel worthless. She said it was just as bad as physical abuse. Maybe worse, because there was technically no crime committed and nothing to report. I personally agree with her.”

I also personally agree with her

A friend of mine came up with a name for it, for these algorithms, this media mind prison. We call it the black box of doom.”

Abbott could see the little car’s exposed belly just above the surface of the water below, which was definitely deep enough for its driver to drown in. Instantly, he felt an acidic ooze of spiteful glee. It served them right.

theres a lot to unpack here

People become bitter monsters because the box tells them that’s the only defense against a world gone mad, so it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.