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“You asked me…if you’re weaker than me or if I’m just better at hiding it.” I glance over at him. “I’m just better at running from it, I think.” “Running from it, huh?” Lo says in thought. “That sounds exhausting.” “I’m not tired.” I bow forward, my elbows on my knees. I rip the edges of the plastic label with my short fingernail. “I think I could run until I die. I think I would’ve. Then I had to stop and go back…” “For security.” “For Luna,” I say. It was always about Luna.
“I’ve talked to Farrow about it a bit. That night—I let it catch me. It rooted itself in me. It’s anger like I’ve never felt before. I’m not an angry person,” I tell him. “Never really have been. But sometimes I’m just so full of fucking rage about what happened.” I wipe at the wet creases of my eyes. “I’ve never hated parts of myself until now. But how the hell do you stop being angry at how much pain the girl you love was put through?”
“She’s okay,” Lo breathes. I cut my gaze to him, my nose flaring as my eyes well up again. “She’s not in pain. She’s okay,” Lo nods to me a few times. “Luna survived with you that night. It might not feel like it because of her memories, but she got out. You got her out, Donnelly.” His eyes redden as emotion barrels into him too. “She’s not in pain. She’s the happiest I’ve seen her in a long time.”
Lo leans closer and puts a hand on my shoulder like I’ve seen fathers do to sons in movies. “It’s okay.” I shut my eyes, silent tears falling against my cupped palm around my eyes. “It’s okay,” he breathes. “It really is.”
“It doesn’t feel like it. I should be better for Luna.” I unzip my jacket and use the bottom of my shirt to wipe my face. “She deserves more.” “She doesn’t expect more from you.” His brows furrow. “Why are you expecting so damn much from yourself?”
Her dad squeezes my shoulder. “You’re doing your best. It’s enough.” I take a deeper breath, letting that sink in. It’s enough. She’s not in pain. She’s okay. I got her out. She survived with me. She’s happy.
“See these.” She pointed at her narrowed green eyes with two fingers. “They have witnessed and predicted many romances, and they know love. I see yours, Luna. And my beautiful, radiant daughter once told me, ‘There are people in the universe who make you feel at home.’ And Donnelly made you feel like your galaxy is the happiest, most exhilarating place to be. That is love.”
Is it normal to fear rejection from my boyfriend?
if it’s not then I have a problem
Donnelly holds the pillow with a firm hand like he’s hiding a boner. Sexy thick veins protrude from the top of his palm—stop looking at his hand, Luna. Because it totally appears like I’m staring at his dick. But that’s unreasonable because his dick is behind the pillow. Fully covered. He’s technically not even naked! He’s wearing that pillow. Ha! I nod inwardly like this makes so much sense.
“What are you working on?” I wonder. “Bubble Queen.” His eyes lift to mine, his lip quirking. I smile, then leave the globe chair. Headed his way. “Is she cute?” “Cutest of her galaxy.”
Presiding on a tower of coral is a queen—but not just any typical fantasy monarch. Bubbles billow from her flowy hair, and soap suds hide her toes. Her Oscar-worthy dress is haute-bubble-couture, and she blows a tinier bubble with her delicate hand. “She looks so fragile,” I say quietly. “Like no one can touch her or she’d just pop.”
His eyes sink into me for a beat. Then he sketches a man at her side. Donnelly draws smoky whisps around him. All soft lines. Almost invisible. Deep longing seeps from the penned irises like he’s hopelessly in love with the Bubble Queen.
My heart capsizes from Donnelly’s talent. I knew he could design tattoos and sketch faces, but this is something different entirely. He’s drawing a story. “Lucky for her,” Donnelly tells me, “she has the Shadow King by her side.” “And no one can touch him,” I say. “Because he slips right through their fingers if they try.” I narrow my eyes at the page. “What if they...
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“Didn’t want to put them in you cold.” He was warming his fingers for me. He’s going to finger me. Confetti cannons are blasting from my ceiling. The invisible spectators are throwing a parade around the mattress.
His fingers understand my pussy, what I like already, but I’m watching his face more than his hand. He zones into the sketch, and it’s right now that I discover that Paul Donnelly is a fantastic multi-tasker. He sketches beauty with one hand and makes art out of the other. I feel like a masterpiece under his touch.
When I open my eyes, he’s still sketching. Not even watching me. Why is that so fucking hot? “Want me to keep them in you?” he asks, referring to his fingers. “No,” I say, worried I might full-on ride them if he does. “You can have them back.” Gently, he slips them out, and I put my hand to my forehead in a salute. He grins. “You saluting my fingers? “Yes.” He looks at me like I’m all the stars in his sky, and it leaves me breathless for a moment.
“So more bubbles?” “More bubbles,” I nod, being carried into another orgasm. “More bubbly. More bubbly bubbles. Fizzing fizz.” Donnelly eases back to say, “I like where this is going.” “Fizzing and jizzing,” I say. Okay, I might actually be high now. Donnelly laughs against my pussy. “Grandfather Calloway woulda loved that one.”
I can still taste Luna—that’s how fast I flew out the door. I smell her heady floral scent all over me. Don’t want them to smell her. I feel like a fucking feral animal right now who was interrupted during mating season. Like I will rip into anyone who goes for my girl.
I glance out the window. It might be late but Philly is still alive. Poles are greased. Celebratory chants echo through the old high-rises, and green confetti litters the sidewalks. Even amid everything, I start to smile. I love this city. I will always love this city. It’ll always be mine.
“I left for a reason, you know,” I tell the car window more than them. “You think I’m just like my family, but I left ‘cause I was nothing like ‘em.” I lick my dry lips. “And Farrow—yeah, I followed him. Just like you followed your brother. But I didn’t think…I didn’t plan this. I’m not with Luna because of her family. Or because of Farrow. Or because the world thinks she’s fucking easy. I’m with her ‘cause we see in each other what few people see in ourselves. The heart of her is so beautiful it hurts to talk about it at times.” I take a sharp breath. “My whole life, I’ve been running towards
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“Take your clothes off,” Ian orders. I see the doorway of the row house. My cousins standing inside. I blink. Then I shrug off my jacket. Brought one this time and now I’m tossing it to Ian. I’m that frosty Disney princess though. The cold never bothered me anyway. I smile a little to myself, and SFE starts arguing back and forth.
“Really, what’d you tell Ian? Because before tonight, he was supposed to—” “Be a prick? Haze me further? What’d you have? Silly string? Honey? You want the bears to eat me?” “Jesus Christ,” O’Malley groans. “You’re like a fucking jack-in-the-box.” “I dunno, you look like the bigger clown to me.”
“You can’t be…you’re not…” “Related to you?” O’Malley grits out with the tensest breath, like he’s caged this truth inside his soul for a lifetime. Yeah. He has.
“There are a thousand O’Malleys in South Philly. My mom’s not a part of your family.” She’s Bridget O’Malley, but I always assumed that her branch of the family did not touch any part of Chris’s tree. ‘Cause he would’ve said something. He would’ve, at the very least, told Triple Shield when I was sitting on a hot seat being grilled about the Donnellys’ ancestry.
“You know the funny thing?” I choke out. “I would’ve given anything to grow up next to you. I woulda instantly loved you.” I watch his face fall. “Now you’re just another cousin I wish were dead.” I rotate away from him. “Donnelly.” I run. “Donnelly!” I don’t look back.
“What?” He slowly lifts his eyes to mine, and I must be high. I must’ve hit my head in the field. This must be all a simulation or I’m in a coma. ‘Cause the look he’s giving me can’t exist. And very quietly, he says, “I’m sorry.” I just start shaking my head. His eyes flit up and down me. “I never…” “Never what?” I breathe. “I never thought you’d want to be saved from that.”
It’s the rawest thing he’s ever said to me, and I stare right at him into the great abyss of discomfort. He whispers, “I thought you were just one of them.” He thought I was born a lost soul. I was born an addict. I was born to corruption and darkness. Why would someone like me ever crawl towards a light?
I nod a few times, and the only thing I manage to say is, “I don’t need saving.” I stop short of saying, fuck you, so I t...
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I can’t say how many minutes pass before the bell dings and my superhero arrives. Literally. I grin as Spider-Man bounds inside. Her backpack is slung on a shoulder, and Luna’s spandex outfit conforms every inch of her body. Her round, delicate face is hidden behind the mask. I take it back about not needing saving. I could be saved by Luna Hale every day. Just for this moment to exist.
Luna practically leaps into my arms, and I hug her lanky frame and twirl her in a circle and sing the short Spider-Man theme song. She presses her forehead to mine, and then I whisper in her ear, “Come to rescue me, Spider-Man?” She nods. “I’m at your girl-friendly service.” “Best there is.”
And then I quickly set her down, seeing the bodyguard she brought with her, as he storms down the candy aisle. Farrow. He’s hawk-eyed on O’Malley like a target, like he drove me outside Philly and stripped me naked and left me in the freezing cold. Which…he partially did, but I stripped myself and he’s also suffering with me. “You motherfucker,” Farrow says between gritted teeth, and O’Malley walks backwar...
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“Sorry, I didn’t bring anything for Reverse-Paul.” “Reverse-Paul?” He looks at me like I made the nickname. I know my superheroes pretty well now, but that is too much of a Hale thing to do. Last time I checked, I’m still a Donnelly. “You’re the uglier version of me,” I tell him. He rolls his eyes. “Yeah? In what universe?” “Mine.” Luna raises her hand. I grin. “My favorite one.”
“You take two cars?” “Yeah,” he answers. Why? Thatcher joins us, and I realize the guys threw shirts over pajama bottoms. They ran out of the penthouse. It’s not making sense. Not until I tell Kera thanks again, then walk out into the cold with my arm slung around my girlfriend. I stop short beside the ice chest. Luna’s Volvo, a security SUV, and Mazda are parked near the two pumps. Leaned up against the cars are Akara and Banks…then Quinn, Gabe, and Frog. And Oscar. His arms are crossed tightly over his chest. He’s against the door of the Mazda. He must’ve taken his husband’s car. And I
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I love my family. It crashes against me, and I look down at the pavement, trying not to fucking cry. When I get it together, I look up and I nod to them in thanks, unable to speak. They don’t need to say anything to me. Words don’t feel as good as what they just did. Being present. Being there.
I kiss her. We make out, really. For maybe five or six minutes. Could be longer, but who’s counting? I feel more than put back together. Each kiss is possessive and passionate and exultant. Like I’m exploding into joy. Anger and pain are so far gone now, and I hang on to these simple moments. And this unmatched feeling. I smile against her lips. She clings tighter to me.
Question of the Day: Why does Cherry Fizz taste like blackberries? Would Eliot kill Charlie for the Fizzle throne? Would Ben? Would Xander?
Lily exhales, then stares off in thought. “Actually…” I brace myself again. “…I think we should talk about your intentions with Luna.” She sits straighter too. “Because she loves you. Like head-over-heels smitten, would do absolutely anything for you in love.” My lips rise. “Likewise.” Lily doesn’t smile back. “But she doesn’t remember the past three years. She doesn’t remember what she’s done and experienced, and I hope you’re keeping that in mind. Because if you’re not…” She jabs a threatening finger at me, but it’s not that intimidating coming from Lily who’s all soft edges. I force back
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“This isn’t just about sex to me,” I try to explain. “What’s between us—I’m not with Luna just to sleep with her. And I’d never misuse her trust in me. It’d kill me if anyone did that to her.” Lily eases more. “Okay. Good. This is good.” She exhales again. “And I don’t want you to think I don’t trust you. It’s just that I’m more protective…” Her chin quakes a little, but she lifts it. “I want to make sure she’s okay. After what she went through…it’s important to me.”
“I love her more than life itself. I’ve never loved anyone like that. Just Luna.” I take a breath and somehow meet Lily’s eyes. “I could tell you my intentions are to keep loving her like she deserves to be loved. But I’m not aiming to love Luna. It’s never been a goal to love her. Our love existed before I even knew it could. It’s there. It’ll always be there. For better or for better—‘cause life is only worse without her.”
Lily sniffs loudly. Her tears well. “Thank you.” I almost start crying. “No, I should be—” She shakes her head vigorously and stands up. I follow suit, and she’s telling me, “You don’t need to give me anything…else. Nothing else.” Her compassionate gaze says, you’ve given enough.
“All I ask,” Lily says, “is that you always treat Luna like she’s your moon, your stars, your entire galaxy, like she’s every fragile and mighty thing.” It’s the easiest thing anyone could ask of me. “I will,” I breathe.
“Then what do you want?” “New anti-anxiety meds. I’m almost positive the ones I’m on stopped working three months ago. But the idea of having to go through a bunch of different prescriptions and all the side effects just to find another one that works makes me want to kill myself.”
felt that, little elf
“You can be snarky,” I tell him. “Been thinking you were supposed to be a Gemini.” I take another sip of energy drink. “You have two sides. You’re snarky, then you’re soft and sweet.”
oh look it’s Hillary 😇
He laughs, the sound so bright in its rarity. It instantly makes me grin. Even though paparazzi are riding our ass and we’re headed towards one of his big stressors, the air is light and his eyes shine with happiness. He plays AC/DC on shuffle. Soon, we’re singing to “Thunderstruck” together and pounding the wheel and dashboard respectively. He’s rolling down the windows, letting the breeze enter the car. Unworried in this second. This moment. The power of eighties rock, I’d say, but I also know it might be the power of me.
Knitting is strangely easier than I remember it being. OG Luna must’ve practiced more, and the fact that I’ve subconsciously retained this skill is a super-duper plus.
“I’m good,” I manage to say. “Proceed.” Proceed?! I just told my uncle who is CEO of one of the richest companies in the world to proceed.
Still, I think it’s sacrilege to consider my uncle as the Captain America like my dad does. In my life, that’s always been my older brother. Moffy even found his very own Bucky Barnes in Farrow.
“I like him,” Charlie emphasizes. “I trust Moffy with my life. With the lives of my brothers and sisters. With the lives of my cousins. If the world were ending, he’s who I’d want at my side…third.” “Who are the first two?” Adaline asks with the tap of her manicured nails on the desk. She’s now very interested in Charlie. Salad abandoned. She’s bowing forward. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” Charlie snaps. Adaline smiles suggestively. Uh, I don’t think that was a come-on from Charlie, but who knows, I guess.
Wealth doesn’t wear him. His aura so naturally fits inside the regality of his legacy, it’s simply understood that Eliot Alice is the son of Rose and Connor Cobalt.
“Take that off, please,” Mr. Wagner requests. “My sweater?” “Yes.” I hesitate. “Um…” Alarm bells go off. I’m not wearing a bra!
