Pucking Ever After(Jacksonville Rays, #2.5)

by Emily Rath

The asshole lifts my hand and places it on his chest, pressing my palm flat against his heart. “You know us,” he says again, his voice little more than a whisper.

“You have no doubts of me?” “None,” I reply, holding his gaze. “I have no doubts either,” he replies. “You are my husband, Jake. I seek no exit.” Fuck. I swallow back my tears and nod. “Yeah…no exit.”

Of course, I can’t sleep. I can’t stop looking at my baby. I can’t put him down. Langley warned me it would feel this intense. The nurses tried to take him from me twice before I threatened to bite the last one’s hand.

lol

And I’m not counting any chickens before they hatch, but he has a full head of dark hair. I look over at my reddish brunette and the blond Viking and smirk. Not that I care either way, but if I were a betting man…

I really can’t cry anymore today. At this point, I’m scared for my health. I’ll need to steal Rachel’s IV bag and rehydrate.

“I told her that until they get their shit together, and let go of their antiquated prejudices, you and I will just live like orphans,” she goes on.

I sigh, opening my eyes. “Amy, you don’t have to cut them off on my account.” “Hey, you mess with the bull, ...

“A lonely wolf,” I correct. “And you don’t have to be. Come home, Am.” She raises a dark brow. “What, and live with you, your three partners, a newborn, and a hyperactive dog?”

“We’ve got Mars’s old place. Tess and Langley moved out ages ago. It’s just sitting there empty.” She kisses my brow again. “I’ll think about it.”

I know my twin. She’s lonely…and unhappy. And it fucking tears me apart.

Gazing down at my son, I smile. “I just want him to belong, you know? I want him to have so much laughter and love in his life.”

“It’s a shame, because I’ve always liked pretending I was the neediest person in your life.” I lean over enough to kiss her brow. “We’ll call you a close second.”

She glances over at the lump shifting on the trundle bed. “Doesn’t Cay take that prize now?” “Fuck…yeah, he is such a needy fucking asshole.”

I groan. “You know what, you’re so right, Am. Everyone wants to call me the needy asshole—and I totally am—but that they pretend they’re not as bad as me is a total joke.”

“Oh my god,” I say, snatching for Caleb’s hand. “Esther, do you have the DNA results?” She smiles over at me. “I sure do. Rush order.”

“They’re all looking to you, honey,” Esther says at me with a kind smile. “Are you Jake Price?” I nod, unable to form words. I feel like I’m going to burst out of my skin. “Congratulations, honey. You’re the daddy.”

“Congrats, babe,” Caleb whispers, kissing me—my lips, my cheek, my temple. “I wanted this first one to be yours so badly.”

Jamie,” I say, stretching out the “J” sound. “That’s a guy’s name, right?” Rachel considers for a moment. “Like a mashup of Jake and Amy?”

Holy shit, I’m a fucking genius. “Yes,” I say with a laugh. “Yeah, just like that. Jake and Amy becomes Jamie…Jamie Price.”

“Well, if your twin is represented in his name, I want mine in there too,” she says. “Jamie Harrison.” I look across the room with a smirk to see she broke her twin too. Now they’re both over there crying.

“Why did you get out my creamer if you were just going to give me a hard time?” “Because I always get out your creamer.”

“One sip, and then down the sink it goes,” I warn. “I’m a coffee addict, Mars. I need my morning fix.” “One sip. A small one.”

His hands grip the counter as he watches his coffee disappear. “Just in this moment, I hate you.” “I can take it,” I reply, setting his empty mug in the sink with a soft clink.

“I was always told Jake is the handful when it comes to going to the dentist.” Caleb clenches his jaw, trying not to wince.

Rachel and Jake finally had to threaten to withhold all intimacy before he would agree to make the appointment and get the tooth pulled.

And it’s true. I know Caleb Price. He would tolerate any pain if it meant he stayed in control, if he stayed awake. Memories of his knee surgeries still haunt his dreams sometimes. And I know he lives in some little pain, even when his body is at rest.

More to the point, he simply abhors vulnerability in all its forms. Its why, even five years later, he often doesn’t sleep in the same room as us. He feels out of control in a room where three other people and a dog are up and down at all hours.

“You really gonna open the door looking like that?” I go still, taking in my threadbare sleep pants, bare feet, and no shirt. I drag a hand over my shorn hair. “Too much?” I say with a smirk.

“Try too little,” he deadpans. “I can see your dick through those pants, Mars.”

I like these quiet moments with Caleb. Rachel and Jake are both talkers in the car. If they’re not talking, they want the music on. And now, with the boys taking fewer naps, there’s always noise of some kind.

His hand keeps clenching into a fist in his lap as he fights the urge to drag it through his hair. Meanwhile, I fight the urge to reach across the cab and place my hand on his thigh.

I never know if my touch will settle him or make him more tense. Jake and Rachel always crave my touch.

With Jake, it’s never been about sexual touch. I know he doesn’t want that from me, and I don’t want it from him. He simply craves physical intimacy—platonic and romantic.

With the others, he craves sex. He craves my touch when he’s tired, when he’s bored, when he needs the quiet only my closeness can bring.

Ours is not the touch of lovers. It’s the touch of being loved. And for us it’s enough. Our partners ...

I glance to the right, watching how Caleb watches the road. He’s my partner too, and yet he remains something of an enigma. I know he loves me. That’s never been in ...

With Rachel between us, he’ll coax and tease, taking me to hand and mouth. His touch is uninhibited then, set free by our shared lowering of walls, even as he focuses most of his attention ...

Outside of group sex, he’s never sought me out looking for more intimacy, so I must assume he’s satisfied. I’m resigned to a life of loving Rachel, comforting Jake, and shar...

In rare moments, Caleb will look at me and it feels like he’s wrapping his fingers between the bones of my sternum, gripping tight, and pulling with all his strength. I’m made breathless by the look. I ache. But then I blink, and it’s gone.

But Jake isn’t there yet. Not even close. The joy he gets from being on the ice hasn’t dimmed. I pray he has several more good years left in his career. Most of all, I pray any decision to retire is a choice, not a necessity. I don’t want my family to live with the pain of watching Jake get forced out of the game.

“Did you want your friend to come back with you?” asks the dentist. Caleb glances back at him sharply. “He’s my husband, and no. I’m not fucking twelve.”

Acting on instinct, I reach forward, taking Caleb’s hand in mine. He stiffens. My touch creates a jolt that travels up his arm and across his chest. I squeeze his hand, willing him to look at me. Slowly, he turns, glancing over his shoulder. “I’ll be right here,” I say, giving his hand another squeeze. He gives me a curt nod.

“I can buzz you back if you’d like,” she says. “Doctor Ingram says he’s asking for you.” I go still. “Caleb is asking for me?”

She purses her lips in a smile. “Well, he keeps asking for his ‘hottie husband.’ That’s you, right, honey?” I sigh. No, it’s not me.

Caleb has another husband that he craves more than air. A husband he covets and adores and worships body and soul. A drugged and confused Caleb can only be aski...

“There he ish!” I peer around her to take in Caleb. He’s lounging on an exam table. The right side of his mouth looks a little swollen, his cheek wadded with gauze.

“He’sh here,” he cries, his words muffled and slurred by the gauze. “Tiffany, look. Isn’t he shooo beau’iful?” He reaches out a hand for me, opening and closing his fist like Tuomas when he wants to be picked up.

I bite back a smile as I take in the glazed look in his eyes. Fuck, he’s toast. “He is beautiful,” says the dental ...

“God, Marsh, you’re sho fucking hot,” he says on a groan, stretching out on the exam table. “Tiffany didn’ believe me.” “That’s not true,” she corrects. “I said I was sure h...

It’s taking everything in me not to reach for my phone and hit record for Jake and Rachel to enjoy this later. But this is exactly the fear Caleb voiced to me this morning. He fears being out of control, vulnerabl...