Evergreen (Evergreen, #1)

by Autumn Woods

"I'm sharing things that I've not spoken aloud for a long time." His gaze burns into the sky, so intense I’m surprised the stars don’t flee in fear. "I've done that too," I whisper, placing my small hand over his enormous one, trying to ignore the way his touch ignites sparks that dance their way through the veins beneath my skin. I fight the seductive urge to melt into his touch. I don’t like him, but gods above do I want him. "But you don't show me who you really are, Rexxan."

I’ve never considered marrying Stellan before, but I sure as fuck am tempted to now, just to spite the Forest King. Stellan would definitely play along.

"Just look at me, Rexxan." "I can't stop looking at you these days," he states, his dark gaze staring at his sword as he twirls it around skillful fingers.

"I should go,” I declare, freeing my hand from his touch. I feel pulled to him like a magnet. It's unexplainable and it's throwing me off my usual ruthless schedule. Cold floods my skin from the loss of contact, and I miss the feel of his rough, hot hand against mine. He always seems to feel like a furnace, and now I wonder if it’s caused by his burns.

“Something on your mind, Commander?” He asks, his thumb rubbing his jaw as he arches an eyebrow at me. “Your genitalia,” I clap back, and he almost chokes as he shakes his head at me in ill-conceived despair. "I'll walk you back. I don't want you and your horrific sense of direction getting lost.” "I remember now, so you don’t have to. Or are you that desperate to follow me around like a sad puppy?” His reply comes without hesitation. “I’m desperate to follow you around.”

I say nothing back, slowing down slightly so I get the pleasure of walking behind him. Sweet fuck, he has good legs, ridiculously long and stacked with muscle. Have I always been a leg woman? I sure am now. Said legs turn down my hallway and one weathered hand opens my door for me.

The only reason Renna isn't in my prison just to keep her out of my way is the memory of finding her half-dead in her cell. I cannot remember ever wanting someone so much, or so intensely.

I've been hard since she stepped foot in my palace. But she's everything I need to avoid.

Ascan escorts her into my study, and the temperature of my blood rises instantly. Will I always feel this drawn to her? Like there's some otherworldly magnet that's making me desperate to touch her, to feel the heat of her skin beneath my touch. I want her crying out my name. Fuck that, I need her crying out my name. It only worsens when I look up at her.

Even more incredibly, despite the stifling tension between us, we make it through the meeting without me laying her over the desk in front of us and eating her like I’m starved. I am starved.

My blood catches fire, heading directly south until I’m forced to adjust the way I’m standing. Beside King Espan, in his usual gold crown and pale cloak, is a sight that I imagine will be burned into my retinas for the rest of my life. Renna is in a dress that I can only describe as scandalous. A slit runs up her thigh, ceasing at her hip, the low-cut dress held up by the thinnest of gold chains. She’s barefoot. Miles of tanned brown skin is on display, interrupted only by a gold cuff on her bicep. She wears no other jewellery and her hair is free of clips, loose down to her waist. That fucking hair. I wonder how many times I could wrap it around my hand. She’s a vision in satin, and I don’t understand how the rest of us mere men are supposed to cope.

She says something to Espan as they begin the descent down the stairs and he lets out a loud laugh, his hand nestled on the curve of her waist. I'm struck with a sudden desire to declare war on the Golden Kingdom. Fuck inter-kingdom peace, I just want Renna.

"Where does one even buy a dress like that? Where do I buy a waist like that? Black satin as well? I love it." "Can you pull your head out of Renna's arse long enough to eat dinner, Lynna?" She laughs, lacing her arm through mine as I lead her to the Royal Table. "Rex, I honestly don’t know that I can."

My mood dips, watching the way some of them drool over Renna, hanging onto her every word.

She has written me an extensive report—over fifty-five pages—on the number of Shadow Hunters who die to help other kingdoms. It is staggering, and I’m comfortable in admitting that I’ve been ignorant of it until now.

Renna says nothing, clearly trying her hardest to behave. I hate it when she causes trouble, but I think I might hate it even more now that she's quiet and subdued. Over the course of the next hour, the comments get worse and worse, criticising her appearance, her etiquette, a scar on her shoulder, her dress, as well as constant comments about her race. The only reason I haven’t intervened is because she doesn’t need me to.

"Suck my cock," she says, enunciating each word slowly and clearly. She gives him a quick wink and swirls around back to the table, prompting a mixture of laughter and shock from the rest of the guests. "Marry her!" Mouths Lynna, looking at me.

Where is she?" "You have to stop solving issues like that!" Is she suffering from hearing loss? "Where is she?" "She left and asked Espan not to follow her." "Did she look upset?" "No, she didn't look anything. She just said she was tired of all the…,” Lynna winces, agonised at the idea of swearing, “…of the bullshit and left." "Should I go?" I have no idea what to do with an upset woman. All I know is that Lynna likes hot water bottles when she's bleeding and diamonds for every other problem. I have no experience of comforting women. "Yes, go,"

“She’s in the forest.” Ellatar stands in the hallway, arms across his gold-plated chest. “How would you know that?” “Because I just saw her collect her swords and leave heading east.” A frisson of jealousy pangs in my gut. “Paying close attention to the Shadow Commander, Ellatar?” A slight smile graces his lips. “Doing my job, Rexxan.”

She wants me to kiss her. Gods above, I think I’d sacrifice my fortune for one brush of my lips on hers. But she is not just any woman, she’s addictive in the most toxic of ways.

A knife flies out of the bushes at a breakneck speed. It lands with a thud in the tree between my thighs. Fuck. At least I got one child out. I yank it out, my blood temperature rising to an insufferable level. “And here I was thinking you wanted me in that way,” I call, as she darts through the trees again.

“What do you want, Rexxan? I'm leaving soon, before you tell me to. And if you ask me to apologise to Wornen, I’ll put this knife somewhere a whole lot more unpleasant than your head.” "Wornen is in three separate pieces in a hessian sack. I'm here to ask if you're alright, Renna." She laughs, dropping the knife altogether. I return the gesture. We’re getting somewhere. "Don't pretend you care, Rexxan, it's patronising." "I do." I really do.

"What he said isn't true." "Isn't it? You said yourself you want me out of your kingdom as soon as possible.” I do, because for some reason, being around her makes my chest ache, wanting for things that it should not be wanting for. "I see. I understand your frustration."

“You have no idea what it is to be turned away at every door, and for what reason? Because my parents didn't care enough to give me a chance in life? You're the same as the rest of them, whether you think you're better or not, you're just the same. You'll let us live on your borders, but only in return for the bloodshed of my people!" She shouts, eyes burning with fury as she points at her chest.

Her eyes glitter with unshed tears, but they are not sad. They are angry. They are incandescent. They are exhausted. "I travelled weeks to get here, just to ask you all for one ounce of respect. And now I'm supposed to smile and thank you all for the privilege and the opportunity? So fuck you! Fuck everyone in your counsel who thinks that the blood in my veins, in my brother’s veins, in my hunters’ veins, is disposable!"

“I shouldn’t want you like I do, Rexxan,” she whispers, honest as ever. Her fingers trace the scar on my face, and it feels like she’s committing my features to memory before a goodbye. “Does this hurt?” “Every minute of every day.” She’s so close. So close. Breathing life into the fire within me that I thought long-extinct. “I don’t believe I should want you like I do either, Renna.” “But you do,” she murmurs, her eyes snapping back to mine. Her face is elaborately painted with silver moonlight and black shadows, and in looking at her eyes I feel something I haven’t seen for a long time; empathy. “But I do.”

"That's it, beautiful," he murmurs, kissing my neck now, a hand on my jaw tipping my head to the side. “I’ve been fucking useless all week. This is all I’ve been able to think about.” My whole body lights up for him, my skin buzzing with desire.

“I want you so badly,” I confess, splaying a hand on the tree behind me to try and ground myself before I float away in a cloud of lust. “Look at us. We can’t,” he murmurs, his huge hand gripping my thigh like he’s as desperate for this to happen as I am. "I know better than to hurt you." “But you know it would be earth-shattering between us.”

“Gods, Renna, stop. I’m on my knees already. What more do you want from me?” I opt for honesty. “I want everything you’re willing to give me.” I want him. No strings, no feelings.

“Goodnight, Commander. I’ll kill you if I find you trespassing again tonight.” “Goodnight, Your Majesty. Thank you for playing chase.” He stalks into the darkness, raising a finger in goodbye. “Chase recently became my favourite game.” I do as he says for a change,

The kiss was not a success. Rexxan is even more on-my-mind than he was this morning.

He may be the most vicious killer in my army, but he loves nothing more than gossip. He holds up a bottle of wine, jumping into my bed. "Tell. Me. Everything!"

“Okay, okay. And then...well, some of the people at the table were insulting our people, and the King made them leave. I think he killed them. He chased me through the woods and we kissed. And he stole my underwear.” Stellan sips his wine, his eyes alight. "Fuck. I think I need a night with him too."

"Renna." "Yes.” "Stop talking." I open my mouth to tell him he's an arsehole, but he seals it with a fiery kiss, his hand closing around my jaw.

"Desperate, darling?" "Does alliteration usually work for you in the bedroom? It won't on me." He lets out a husky laugh, his lips moving down my neck. "Not normally, no. Let me make you feel good, Renna, please," he asks, switching to the language of my people.

"Spread your legs wider.” "Is this what you're like? Bossy in the bedroom?" A warm kiss lands on my inner thigh, his voice gravelly and thick. "You have no idea. Wider for me.” "Rexxan, I want to make one thing clear. Nothing I ever do is for you." "I beg to differ." Oh, fuck him. "You hold an awfully high opinion of yourself." “And you will too, in half an hour.” “Like you could last half an hour around me.” “Are you going to behave, or should I get some rope?” “Don’t threaten me with a good time,” I rebuke, moving my hands to his chest.

He straightens up and moves them down away from his burns quickly. He doesn’t like me to touch him, which is sad, but I respect the limits he has set.

His stubble tickles my skin as he whispers in a language I don’t know, every word quickening my pulse. I don’t have to understand the words to know that what he is saying is utterly filthy. His kisses and his tongue dip between my legs and I let out a mangled version of his name, my hands falling to his shoulders. "No touching,” he orders, returning my hands to the rough wood of the shelf. Control freak. He brushes his lips across my inner thigh again before gently sucking my clit, his breath hot between my thighs. “Renna, you’re intoxicating. The heat of you, the taste of you. I’m drunk on it all.”

Whatever I said about wanting to be with him so I can forget about it and move on was bullshit, because Rexxan is so deep in my conscience now that he’ll never escape.

"Taste yourself, love. Taste how much you long for me.” Oh, for fuck’s sake. Every time I start to like him. "No one likes a narcissist, Rexxan," I mutter, before he kisses me again, harder this time. "Evidently, you do," he lets out a low hum of approval, “because you’re so wet for me.” "Not for you. Never for you."

He's not fucking boring. He's…celestial. It hits me there and then that leaving this kingdom tomorrow is going to be more disappointing than I thought it would be.

She's a storm, a violent blizzard of power, but it's times like this where she's so vulnerable where I could see myself falling into her traps so easily. Her cheeks flush a little as she rests her cheek on my chest. "I want you.” She's going to be the death of me. I'm so hard it hurts, but I'm neither stupid nor blind. "No." "I want you so bad, Rexxan." This is torture, penance for all the cruelty I’ve done in my life.

To a layperson, she looks as she usually does. But for reasons I cannot make sense of, I’m attuned to her like I’ve known her for an age, and I see the subtle widening of her eyes. I see the breath of trepidation that escapes those lips, as much as she tries to hide it.

Half an inch, and I can already tell she feels incredible. Half an inch, and I know I could have her for a lifetime and never get bored.

But she wriggles off the sofa the second we arrive in the library, dropping to her knees in front of me. I shake my head at her and she frowns. "Do I not do it for you, or something? I mean...I know I look nothing like Lynna, like…no one can compete with that, but...I'm not bad looking—“ She thinks I’m not attracted to her, and the thought is almost laughable because I would kill, live, or die for this woman. Whichever one she asked of me. I cut her off before she starts rambling for hours. "Renna, you're the most entrancing creature I've ever seen in my life. I want you so badly it’s killing me, but I can't cope if you start this now and stop."

The most dangerous woman on this earth is currently asleep on my chest, and there’s a smudge of dribble on my shirt.

How can someone be so dangerous yet so sweet?

“Insult my people, beat me in a fight, put me in prison, but do not mess with my motherfucking food!" She shrieks, her voice echoing off the shelves of age-old books around us.

wouldn't go near you with a ten-foot pole, though." I roll us over so she is lying on her back on the roof, my body pressed into hers. "Is that right?" "Mmhmm." "I have a ten-foot pole you can have," I say, and she howls with laughter like that was the last thing she expected to come out of my mouth. Fuck, it's been so long since I've been...myself. We

"I'm leaving. I just thought I'd say goodbye, given I might never see you again and all that...and I want to talk about yesterday." I lean against the wall, extending one arm out from my side. She laughs, running over and launching herself into my open arms with alarming force. I bury my nose in her honey-scented hair, taking a hit of my new favourite drug. “I don’t really like you, but I think I’m going to miss you," she whispers, as I carry her into my room. “Charming as ever.” I’ll miss her too, and I never expected that to be the case. But she's a liar and a mortal, and she'll be dead in the blink of an eye. I cannot let myself get close to her, but when she's laughing in my arms it's hard.