One More Thing: Stories and Other Stories
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I thought about buying a rabbit as a pet and putting it on the patio. But I didn’t want to have to lock it up in a cage. And I didn’t want to let it just roam free, knowing that at any time, anything could happen to it. I would feel so terrible if something happened to it. Or if it felt all caged up.
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love,
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losing gracefully (which never won but was always nominated), sunrises, peace (which was often a finalist during times of war but was otherwise not nominated), summer evenings, the score to West Side Story, laughter, Christmas, and peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches.
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Beauty had never been nominated.
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The same was true for money. Same for honesty.
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The fun isn’t whether love is going to win; the fun is in seeing how.
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Or would it mean that love was only “better than nothing”?
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Would it mean that nothing was better than love?
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Or would it mean something darker than that—perhaps it would mean that all the things that had been thought of as the very best things in the world were still, on some deeper level, less than nothing?
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“Love won.”
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the nation had in fact been born out of a rebellion against royalty!
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America, the vast and varied land where everyone was singing the same song.
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“What is the point of watching it rot, with so many hungry people out there smacking their lips for delicious pasta?”
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A man took his brother to small claims court to demand compensation for the “annoyance and emotional distress” caused when Saver’s Pub, the bar owned by his brother, allegedly served him a glass of flat beer.
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Endless war over minor ideological differences remains one of the most defining aspects of human life well into the 21st century
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you’d never find love if you were looking for it.”
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no, because of steroids.
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she told me that I was no longer the type of person she could trust with her ATM password,
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The muggy scent of summer’s stillness is pierced only by the trivial phosphorescence of a mindless firefly.
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Camp Fantastic is a place for teens to have sex, do drugs, and stay out of trouble.
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maintaining the delicate and necessary self-restorative cycle of mindfulness and mindlessness that comes much more naturally to those whose inner cerebral acrobatics are not permanently set to emergency-high levels of attention-demand—led to a series of emotional breakdowns over the course of my life that have spangled my generally extraordinary intellect with the welcome-textured scars of impulsive thinking and counterproductive endeavors,
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Remember, there is no adult supervision at Camp Fantastic, so be sure to keep an eye out for your own safety and best interests. As a favor to me, please do not kill yourself at Camp Fantastic. Have a fantastic time.
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It was a question on none of our minds.
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“I prefer them because they’re deflatable.”
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I’m talking about a Hitler who’s against genocide. I’m talking about a Hitler who’s opposed to world domination. Now, that’s the kind of Hitler I might be able to get behind! A Hitler who wants to improve our schools. A Hitler who understands that ordinary Americans need more access to health care—and isn’t afraid to tell that to Congress! A new Hitler! A good Hitler.
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spaghetti and ketchup,
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“That’s how tight my girlfriend’s pussy is.”
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a priceless piece of set decoration for any independently owned coffee shop: the poet completely lost in his work, pausing only to explain—often, and at length, depending on the questioner—what it was he was working on.
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I depict her in my imagination as I wish her to be.”
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J. C. Audetat’s translation of Don Quixote electrified the English-speaking world with the restored size and specificity of the novel’s comedy, its love, its hopefulness and foolishness and hopefulness all over again.
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or for someone to say on a second date, “You know how in Don Quixote when …?” out of an attempt to connect, not an attempt to impress.
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Each thought calmed and agitated him in equal measure.
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Did you think the book was funny? Why or why not?
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What is quantum nonlocality? Be concise.
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Who are we supposed to be discussing these questions with?
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Do you think “why not?” is ultimately a better question than “why?” • Why or why not?
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