The Pairing

by Casey McQuiston

Of all the things I missed about having Kit as my best friend, this might be the biggest. The forever yes, and of our conversations, every thought a continuation of the last, every random inconsequential detail of our lives dominoing into one another.

It crushes me then, slams into me and pulls me down: I want him. I still want him.

It’s not just that I want him. It’s that he taught me what wanting was. Anyone would have a weakness for that.

I love him. I don’t want to, but I do.

There’s so much romance in that, so much beauty in learning how much my heart can endure. Sometimes I think the only way to keep something forever is to lose it and let it haunt you.

KIT YOU DRAMATICALLY POETIC BOY GOOD GOD