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He’s so handsome, so kind. Cares so much for his people. I want to hide myself in his home forever just so I can call myself one of those people.
“I’ll be there,” I say with conviction. “For you.”
“I’d do anything for you, Miller.”
Kai looks at me, and I can sense his fingers itching to pull me into him. I want him to. I want to say “screw it” to my dumb rules and fall into him because I need his comfort right now. I’ve become more and more reliant on it.
I notice are the women. Women who are fawning over little Max in his arms. Women with blatant signs declaring how much they’d like to wife up the single dad on the team. I hate them all and I don’t care how childish that sounds. I hate that eventually he’s going to meet someone who will give him the kind of commitment he needs. I hate that one day he’ll complete their family. And I hate that the woman he chooses won’t be me because I’m simply a summer fling passing through.
God, she’s perfect. I hate her so much. This is why I need girlfriends. I can’t exactly bitch to my dad about how much I hate Kai’s red-headed future wife or that, regardless of me leaving town soon, those are my boys, and I’m not prepared to share.
“You holding me like this in front of other people feels pretty intimate.” I quietly chuckle. “Yeah, well, sometimes I don’t give a shit about your rules, Miller, and right now is one of those times.” “Why haven’t you tried to break the one where you sleep in my bed?” Wait…what? I play with the hair framing her face, pushing it out of the way so I can see her better. “Do you want me to break that rule?” “I’m just wondering why you haven’t tried.” “You’re confusing the hell out of me, Montgomery.” “I’m confusing myself too.” I readjust my hold on them. “I haven’t tried to sneak into your
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“And he loves you, you know?” When she looks up at me, Miller’s eyes are an even more vibrant green from the red that surrounds them. “I’ve never seen him so smitten.” Which makes two of us. “You think so?” I chuckle. “Yes, Mills. He’s passed out and drooling on your overalls. I think it’s safe to say he’s in love.”
“Miller Montgomery.” A smirk lifts. “Are you jealous?” She shakes her head to tell me no.
More than I knew I was capable of.
I have no idea what she was worried about earlier, but it’s obvious to me that this wild woman is my son’s calm. And in a lot of ways, I think I might be hers.
“Because you’re in love with Kai.” “Wrong. I’m not.” “Well, I know you’re in love with Max and you can’t even try to deny that one.” Exhaling, I drop my head back to the floor, holding my drink on my stomach. “I am. God, I love that kid so much. Is that weird?” Indy, sitting cross-legged, looks down at me. “No, Miller. That’s not weird. Sometimes we can’t explain how or why we love who we love. We just do. You don’t really get to tell your heart what to do.”
“It’s okay for the important things in your life to change, you know?” Stevie nods. “And it’s okay to change directions even when you’ve spent your entire life headed on a one-way street.”
Who fucks the single dad of the kid they’re nannying for?” Stevie pops her shoulders nonchalantly. “I fucked a hockey player on the team I was working for.” Indy points to Stevie. “I fucked her brother.” “I’m not fucking anyone,” Rio sighs. Kennedy takes a long drag of her cocktail. “My ex-fiancé is fucking my stepsister.”
Damn, drunk girls really do become best friends by existing in the same room.
“I like you.” A laugh rumbles in my chest. “I like you too, Mills.” “Will you kiss me?” “You don’t want me to kiss you casually, remember?” “I changed my mind.”
“I’d do anything for you,” I repeat. “You know that?” “I think I’d do anything for you too.”
“All my skin care is in here. And my toothbrush.” “It is.” “Why?” “Because you’ve got only a few days left here and I’m done with your no-sleepover rule.” She looks back at her things then returns her attention to me. “That rule did kind of suck, huh?” “All your rules suck, Mills.”
“I don’t want to leave Max.”
“Pressure is a privilege, Miller. Expectations are high because you’re successful. If you were average, no one would be waiting on bated breath for you. I think about that every night I take the mound. You just have to decide if your dreams and goals are worth the pressure. If you want to live up to the expectations set for you.”
“Love isn’t earned. Monty gave up his career because he loves you unconditionally. You don’t have to pay him back by chasing accolades. That’s not how it works.”
“Well, I changed my mind. Now I just feel lucky.”
“Can we forget about some of my rules? For the rest of the week while I’m here? I just want to know what it’d feel like.” “You want to know how what feels like?” “To be yours.” Watching her, I search for any sign she might take those words back when she’s sober, but Miller’s eyes are clear and bright. So, I lean down and press my lips to hers, kissing her in a way that isn’t related to sex. Kissing her in a way that feels attached and full of strings because that’s exactly what I am when it comes to her. “Mills, you already are mine. Even if I haven’t been allowed to show you, you’ve always
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“Today was a good day.” She smiles against my chest. “They could all be good days.”
“You’re so perfect, Miller,” I whisper into her ear. “So mine.” Her throat rumbles in the sexiest, most agreeable moan. “You like hearing that?” “Yes,” she exhales. “You’re mine, baby.”
“Goddamn,” I exhale, shaking my head in disbelief. “I’m fucking obsessed with you.”
I truly don’t know how I got so fucking lucky to have her attention on me, but I’d do just about anything at this point to keep it.
Eric might not be able to think of a single person who isn’t excited for my return, but I can. Me.
Because since leaving at eighteen, I never had a place to call home and while this stay is just as temporary as the others have been, this home feels important to protect.
“Go do what you’re best at so we can get these people out of our house.”
“Hi, Bug. Come here.” “No!” Sylvia snaps as I pick him up. “Put him down! You’ll wrinkle your coat!” I freeze right there in the kitchen, holding Max and staring at this woman in disbelief. “Put him down.” Sylvia turns away, speaking under her breath. “This is not a place for kids.”
There’s no part of me that wants to be in the kitchen. I only want to be with them.
Today is Miller’s birthday and it started just the way I wanted it to—with my face between her legs.
Miller tends to tell people she loves them through the food she makes, so I figured since I wasn’t allowed to tell her, I’d show her in the same way she does. As I said, I’ve turned into a fucking sap.
“You’re not just the nanny and you fucking know that,”
She has a hard time being anything but the best. It’s an odd contradiction to the girl who lives unattached and carefree, floating from city to city. But when she has a goal in mind, she has this innate need to be the greatest to do it. All-American pitcher. James Beard recipient. As if the titles mean she’s accomplished something instead of simply doing it out of joy.
When she goes back to working six to seven days a week, twelve hours at a time, I want her to remember this. How it feels to be surrounded by the people that love her, that she loves in return. That life is so much more than the money you make or the status of your job. It’s about chasing your joy.
“I hated everything about that photoshoot yesterday,” she finally admits. “I hated wearing that coat again and hearing them call me chef. I’m supposed to be excited. My career is taking off, and I thought it’d feel like a dream. My dream.”
With my name on her back and my son in her arms, Miller stands in the center of the field, looking like mine. She should be mine. Ours.
Of course, there are some internal fears surfacing here. Everyone wants to be wanted, and yeah, I’m scared to put myself in the position to ask someone to want me when I’ve grown accustomed to people leaving. I don’t ask anymore—for help, for someone to stay. I simply do it on my own. But the hope of not having to do it alone, of Miller truly wanting to be with me, almost outweighs the fear. “I don’t want her giving up her entire life for me only to realize I’m not worth sticking around for.”
“She’s not my blood, but she’s my girl,” Monty says from beside me. “And she looks at your boy, who is not her blood, in the same way I look at her. I’ve seen it all summer. I watched her fall in love with two people at the same time, and it reminded me of myself when I met her and her mom. She won’t be able to just walk away from that, regardless of if you ask or not.” Monty finally looks my way, eyes welling with unshed tears. “I know I couldn’t.”
“Stop acting like a deranged caveman,” Kennedy chastises. “He’s allowed to be here. Dean is my stepbrother. Chill out.”
“How the hell could anything be worse than Kenny being related to Dean motherfucking Cartwright?” “They could’ve been sleeping together, so I count ‘stepbrother’ as a win.” Isaiah’s brown eyes widen as I watch the realization flash through his mind. “Oh my God, you’re right.”
“What I’m trying to say is that my brother deserves the world and for him, you are the world.”
I want to be his world because he’s quickly become mine, but the last thing I want is for this man to get hurt because of me. Isaiah doesn’t have to tell me these things. I know how good his brother is, how much he deserves. It’s what made me fall in love with him when I was trying so hard not to.
I leave tomorrow and I’m in love with Kai and his son. I’m in love with the life and friendships I built here.
I’d love to come and work with your dad someday, though. He and I used to make a hell of a pair. In fact, he was my catcher until he decided to retire mid-season while we were on a World Series-winning pace.” The smile on my lips falls. He retired that season because of me. “He and I both would have our own rings if he stayed and played out that season, but he just had to call it quits. Absolutely wild to me.” Brian shakes his head in disbelief. “It was a…tough time for us then.” “Yeah.” He exhales a humorless laugh. “It’s a shame that his rash decision cost him his career.”
Happy Birthday, Miller. I love you. Love, Max
“Happy birthday, Mills. I hope it’s your best one yet.” Her greens flick to me. “It is. Because of you two.”
“Mmm,” he hums her name, touching her face as gently as he can. “You almost got it. One day I’ll get to hear you say my name. You’ll have to make sure your daddy records it for me when you do.” He looks right at her, his icy blues boring into her, and there’s absolutely no misunderstanding when he says, “Mmm…Mama.” Miller’s face falls. “What did you say?” “Mama.” Max grins, so proud of himself for saying a name I now realize he’s been trying to say for weeks. “Mama! Mama!”
