Between Never and Forever

by Shain Rose

“You come to my casino, my resort, have your fuckboy of a boyfriend propose on my property. And you’re wearing his ring like it belongs on your finger. Tell me it’s a joke. Say. It.”

He stepped close then. Too close. My breath hitched, and I licked my lips instinctively. My body knew this stance, knew how it would feel to have him, and immediately I wanted to give in, wanted to rake my nails over his skin and claw at every part of him the way the memory of him tore at me.

“Stay out of your way? This is my place. I don’t go home—back to my hometown—just to ensure I don’t see your venomous ass.” “Venomous? Are you kidding me right now?” “No. You poisoned that whole town against me. And then you came home acting like you loved me when really you were going back to hang on Ethan’s arm a week later. Now you’re here doing the same.”

“I sent her home.” “Why?” I asked, but his eyes burned into mine, communicating all I needed to know. “Because I could only look at you all night.” He combed a hand through his thick hair. “I’ve been with her for two years, and it’s been damn near fifteen years without you,” he said, and his voice suddenly held all the pain I felt. “And yet I hear your voice on that stage, look at you singing, and I still only want you.”

“You can have whoever you want,” I whispered. “Can I really? Do you have whoever you want?” He narrowed his eyes at me in challenge. I met him head-on. “Not that it matters to you, but yes, I do.” I was standing up to him, and we both knew it. One of us needed to draw the line in the sand after all these years. “I’m sure you do.” He clenched his jaw. “But when I’m with someone else, I still picture you…and I’m sick of it.”

“So, what? You want a few more shoes in your closet?” He looked me up and down. “Fine. I’ll double it.” “Double it?” I squeaked. “Not good enough? Triple it. What do I care? And it can be outside the label’s contract so you can keep it all to yourself.”

“Yeah. It’s time.” “Time for what?” He frowned at me and then pulled his phone from his pants. “Time for me to stop trying to get you out of my system without having you here to actually do it.”

Dex was here in front of me, promising himself for six months, and suddenly all my anxieties and worries ceased. This was a disaster waiting to happen, but it was also the place I knew I wanted to break apart. Beside him. For him. Because of him. If I couldn’t find myself with the one man I’d always loved, I could destroy myself at the very least. And I’d still be me.

“You gonna marry another man when you belong to me?” “I don’t belong to you. I never did!” I scoffed.

“You’re real, Kee. Maybe the all-American Keelani Hale isn’t real, but you here in front of me is. I still feel you next me. I still hear your laugh. I still smell how sweet you taste—” “Stop.” Too late. He already saw the goose bumps rise on my skin.

“I won’t stop until I have you. You know that, Kee. I won’t stop till I get you out of my fucking system.”

To anyone else, this conversation may have been dramatic, but I knew how Dex could ruin me. I’d never love another man like I loved him. Leaving him had broken not only my heart, but my soul and my spirit.

you ready to be done with his ring on your finger, Kee?” “Dex.” I almost whimpered his name now. And then I said softly, “Honestly, why?” Dex Hardy, in a three-piece suit and all grown up, stood in front of me, ready to take over my world. And then he leaned in close and whispered in my ear, “Because your ass knows. You’re not marrying anyone but me.”

“You do realize the fact that I have to act like sweet Keelani all the time in front of people makes me less sweet behind closed doors.” He hummed. “I think I might enjoy the sour version of you after all this time.” “Is that so?” “Sure. But even if I do enjoy you, I’m still going to fuck you like I hate you when we get back to the room.”

Keelani wasn’t a woman I could get out of my system. She instead got in there, rearranged it all, and rewrote my DNA. I knew it the second I saw her on that stage tonight, singing a song that wasn’t on any of her albums. I was ashamed to admit I knew them all by heart.

Even after all these years, our bodies worked together and complemented each other.

“If I do this, you let me sing what I want and do what I want on stage… Let me change my brand here.” “Change it into what?" “Not the all-American sweetheart I’m sick of being.” “Interesting. Don’t want to be a good girl anymore, huh?”

Her brand was important to her obviously, and she wanted more control than she’d ever had before. I could offer her freedom, and in return, I’d hopefully find a way to be free of her.

I’ll get slaughtered for breaking Ethan’s heart, and they’ll claim I cheated on him with you.” “Maybe you should admit it was the other way around.” Saying that one out loud hurt, but it was true. Her eyes widened as she gasped and then stepped back like I’d hit her. Her face contorted in pain. “You can’t honestly believe that.” “What else should I believe?”

“You don’t care? You don’t care that for years I’ve had nightmares about you with him? And then dreams of fucking you away from him? You don’t care that I’m about to make that happen now?”

I didn’t kiss her. I fucked her mouth. I destroyed it, took what I wanted and longed for. It wasn’t nice or kind or subtle in need. It was a kiss full of fire and hate and vengeance. I branded her with the emotions we’d probably both felt for years.

Tonight, we were both being reckless. Her probably more so. She had a reputation to uphold, after all. It was dangerous. Defiant. And exactly what I wanted us to be.

“We’ve always belonged together, and you know it.”

Keelani Hale was bold, defiant, and absolutely stunning when she let herself be who she really was. They’d caged her for long enough.

Looking at her standing there in my penthouse felt dangerous but necessary, like she was a siren that had lured me in, waiting to have me try to devour her again. Instead, I was sure she’d tear me apart in some way. And I was going to let her. I wanted her to feast on me, ravage me, and leave me all used up so I would never want her again. Six months with the woman I couldn’t get out of my head. Six months of hell…and maybe heaven.

She tasted like tequila and citrus but still somehow smelled like lilacs. It reminded me of the year I lost everything. I’d lost my reputation, my friends, my heart. Most importantly, I’d lost her.

“Now…call your fiancé.” “Ethan?” she squeaked. “What the hell for?” I put my hands in my pockets and rocked back on my loafers as I looked her up and down. “I’m not fucking you while you’re engaged to someone else. Call him and end it.”

“If I don’t affect you, prove it. Wouldn’t you rather show me once and for all you don’t want to fuck around during our engagement?”

“I’m not scared of anything with you, Dex. We don’t have anything between us anymore.” “Interesting.” My hand gripped the back of her thigh and then massaged it as she gasped. “I seem to remember you promising me forever when you whispered you loved me.”

then, I won’t affect you when you call that fiancé of yours. Go on.” I egged her on. “Dial the number. Tell your fiancé you’re done with him so I can fuck you into oblivion.”

We’re not kids anymore. You won’t walk all over me like—” I stopped. Fuck, I was still mad at her, and I wanted to punish her for it, make her feel it, make her suffer like I did.

“Bend over the counter and face the window. Look out at the city I rule and feel how I’m going to rule you too.”

I may have loved him once, but we were adults now. He had turned into a colossal dick, one who wanted to seek some sort of revenge on me through this contract and get me out of his system. I had to remember that. He’d left our hometown, I’d moved on, and we weren’t really going to revisit what we could have been.

She’s mine. You come near her again, and I’ll ruin you,”

“Now, want me to fuck you nice, like this means something, or fuck you rough, like I hate you for all you’ve done?” I shook my head at him, not really knowing the answer. This night would change me and change us forever. We’d never gone this far. But he didn’t seem to care. This was his way of closure. We both knew that. “Just do what’s real, Dex. I want the real thing with you.”

I had zero restraint left when it came to wanting him. I’d dreamed of him for years. It was inevitable. We were bound to end up here, and I wouldn’t have wanted to be with anyone else.

“I only want the real you throughout all this, Dex. Only you.” That statement had me faltering. Didn’t she know I was colder now? Fiercer. Meaner. She’d done that to me.

“I’m going to fuck you so good, it’s going to hurt when I stop, Kee.” I rubbed her clit again. “Do it, then. Make this real again.” She clawed at the counter as I gripped her hips, not sure if I was pushing her away or getting ready to dive into her.

I wanted this. I needed it. Yet my soul was scared of it. I was scared of having her once and for all. “We were always real, babe. This pussy of yours is so soaked, I’m guessing you’ve been dreaming about having me since the beginning.”

“Keep your eyes on me, Kee. I want you to watch who can fuck you so hard you forget about the good-girl image you’ve built for yourself and see who you always truly belonged to.”

“Kee, please tell me I’m stretching you because no one has ever come close to being as big as me.” I shifted so I wasn’t holding her so tight, and her eyes shut as a blush rose over her chest and her face. “No one has come close to being inside me at all, Dex.” Her whispered confession had me swearing under my breath again even as my cock swelled like it was damn proud.

“I’m still a virgin. Well, I was. Much more of a good girl than you thought.” She cracked open an eye. “Fuck me like I’m not one though?”

I didn’t care about most things other than working and keeping my family proud. Most of my hopes for making the rest of the world a better place died when our town turned its back on me.

“How do you not get attached?” Easy. Someone breaks your heart into such small pieces, you have no attachments left.

“Can you look at me?” “I feel like right now isn’t the time for us to stare into each other’s eyes. Let’s just get this over with.” “I’m not stealing your virginity or getting it over with. Jesus, how am I even your first?” “Did you honestly think it would be someone else?” “Yes, Kee. When we walked away from each other, I wanted to walk away for good.”

Even if we’d been apart for years, my body knew immediately that this man wasn’t going to move until I did.

“Starting to feel like you like it, Kee. Does it feel good having me inside you?” I hissed out, “Yes.” I couldn’t have said no even if I should have. “We needed this. We needed to see how the other felt after all these years.” He hummed like he might agree but didn’t say the words. “You know I’m stretching you, baby. I’m stretching you so only I fit you just right. This pussy is mine. You understand?”

He kissed me soft as he fucked me slow. He didn’t fuck me like he hated me, but instead treated me like glass, like he wanted to be gentlemanly with my first time.

“Come, Kee. Come for your fiancé.” His words shouldn’t have pushed me over the edge, but they did. I screamed his name again and again as I unraveled on top of him.

“I want to hate you, you know that? And then I want to feel nothing for you. I’m still furious with you, Kee. I still want to hate you with every fucking bone in my body for how you left. How you came back, too, and fucked with my head.”