Between Never and Forever

by Shain Rose

Dex glared at the ring like it was the kryptonite to his Superman. “I’m going to fuck that ring off you, Kee. Ethan can listen to you scream while I do it if he wants.” Ethan chimed in, “I’m into that sort of thing if you are.” I watched Dex’s face redden, felt his grip on me tighten. “I’m not. Nor will I ever be. She’s mine. You come near her again, and I’ll ruin you,” Dex ground out before pressing the End button. He took two breaths before he asked, “Now, want me fuck you nice, like this means something, or fuck you rough, like I hate you for all you’ve done?” I shook my head at him, not really knowing the answer. This night would change me and change us forever. We’d never gone this far. But he didn’t seem to care. This was his way of closure. We both knew that. “Just do what’s real, Dex. I want the real thing with you.”

I had zero restraint left when it came to wanting him. I’d dreamed of him for years. It was inevitable. We were bound to end up here, and I wouldn’t have wanted to be with anyone else.

“Take his ring off, Kee. I can’t fucking stand you wearing it for another second.” I did as I was told.

I’d grown accustomed to being able to compartmentalize my life, fitting every feeling or person or task into a certain category. With Kee, though, my emotions shot off like damn fireworks in different directions. I’d craved her for so long. Yet having her right then, I knew, was going to ruin me. Hell, she’d just removed an engagement ring from her finger. It showed me she wanted this as badly as I did.

The thought of her learning her desires with Ethan fueled my jealousy, my pace, my need to have her. All this time, I could have had her, but instead I’d let another man be with her instead.

She whimpered and then breathed out, “I only want the real you throughout all this, Dex. Only you.” That statement had me faltering. Didn’t she know I was colder now? Fiercer. Meaner. She’d done that to me. I undid my belt buckle and pulled my length free. Then I let her feel the cold metal against her pussy. She gasped and looked over her shoulder. “Is that— You’re pierced?” “Yeah, Kee.”

“Is that going to hurt more?” “Hurt?” I questioned, shocked all of a sudden by the thought of someone hurting her while screwing her.

Still thinking she’s a virgin 👀

I wanted this. I needed it. Yet my soul was scared of it. I was scared of having her once and for all. “We were always real, babe.

“Keep your eyes on me, Kee. I want you to watch who can fuck you so hard you forget about the good-girl image you’ve built for yourself and see who you always truly belonged to.”

She gasped loudly and then whimpered as her eyes widened on me. It wasn’t a sound I was expecting and not at all the sound I wanted. She slapped a hand over her mouth, and her whole body tensed. Her look alone would have had me freezing, yet her body language was even more of a signal to me. “Kee.” I froze, my cock still in her, bare and throbbing, but I was distinctly aware now that I was in unmarked territory. Fuck. She was breathing hard but not looking at me at all. “Kee, please tell me I’m stretching you because no one has ever come close to being as big as me.” I shifted so I wasn’t holding her so tight, and her eyes shut as a blush rose over her chest and her face. “No one has come close to being inside me at all, Dex.”

I FUCKING KNEW IT!!

Suddenly the anger I’d felt before, the jealousy, the rage was gone. All that was left was my concern. “Kee, fuck. Please tell me I didn’t just ruin this. Please tell me you’re… “ “I’m still a virgin. Well, I was. Much more of a good girl than you thought.” She cracked open an eye. “Fuck me like I’m not one though?” “You’re out of your damn mind.” I started to shift back so I could slide out of her, but her hand shot out to grab my ass behind her. “Don’t you dare leave me now, Dex.” “We’re not doing this.” I shook my head, trying to tell my cock that too. “We are. Just…take me to your bed.” “If I’d known—” “If you’d known, then what?” she asked, her eyes burning with anger all of a sudden. “You wanted to fuck me like you hated me. Who cares then, right?” Both of my hands were on either side of her on the counter now. “Babe, I’m not going to fight with you right now. My cock is so far inside you, I’m scared I’m going to break you, okay?” She was still holding on to my ass tight though, and when I shifted, she whimpered again. Yet she said, “I’m not going to break. Just carry me to your bed. And don’t pull out of me. Because that will hurt.”

“Keelani, you realize the act of sleeping together requires that I—” She smacked my shoulder. “Obviously, Dex. I want to lie in a bed and hopefully do it a little less…abruptly.” My forehead fell to hers and, for a moment, all the tension between us left. “Wrap your legs around me.” She nodded and bit her lip as she did. I carried her, legs wrapped around my hips, like she was my most fragile possession. I didn’t care about most things other than working and keeping my family proud. Most of my hopes for making the rest of the world a better place died when our town turned its back on me. “How did we get here, Kee?” I murmured in her ear as her arms wrapped around me. Tomorrow, I knew we’d be back to arguing, to the awkward conversations, to our separate lives, but tonight, we were connected. “Well, we got like this because I didn’t tell you.” “I didn’t ask, either. For some odd reason.” His tone was sarcastic. “I had the idea you’d done this before.”

“Ethan and I never slept together because he didn’t want that and neither did I. He’s been in love with someone for a very long time.” “With the person he was with tonight.” It made sense. I turned the corner and passed the guest bedroom and the spare office space. “Yes,” she said softly. “Seems a lot of people found the person they wanted to be with over the years.” Her eyes searched mine, and I knew she had questions about Seanna and me. With the fact that I’d just stolen her virginity, I offered up the honest truth. “I don’t commit well to anyone. Seanna knows that. She’s fine with it. We’ve… I keep my relationships casual but she’s been casual for a while now.” Her chocolate e...

I’d wanted to torture Keelani with the idea of my fucking her being so good, she could never think of anything else; but instead, I feared how rough I handled her would be the way she would remember her virginity being taken.

“Can you look at me?” “I feel like right now isn’t the time for us to stare into each other’s eyes. Let’s just get this over with.” “I’m not stealing your virginity or getting it over with. Jesus, how am I even your first?” “Did you honestly think it would be someone else?” “Yes, Kee. When we walked away from each other, I wanted to walk away for good.”

And maybe these six months would help me overcome it. If he wasn’t going to fall in love all over again, I wouldn’t either. We’d learn from each other here. We’d grow. We’d move forward, and then we’d move on. Leaving the past behind once and for all was necessary to a person’s survival.

I rolled my eyes and shoved him down. My hands were on his clothed chest. I immediately started working at the buttons. “I want this off.” He brushed my hands away quickly, like he wanted to keep the shirt between us or like he had something to hide. Then, his hands were back at my hips, telling me, “Heartbreaker, forget about my shirt. Can you move on me?” I bit my lip but kept my gaze on the buttons, focusing on that task instead of the big one. “I’ll move when I’m ready.”

I pulled it apart just so I could stare at his chest. Intricate tattoos weaved all around it. Yet, I didn’t take much time to look them over before I anchored myself on his pecs and said,

I don’t have the control right now.” I saw that his pupils were dilated, the green of his eyes burning bright. Even if we’d been apart for years, my body knew immediately that this man wasn’t going to move until I did.

“Starting to feel like you like it, Kee. Does it feel good having me inside you?” I hissed out, “Yes.” I couldn’t have said no even if I should have. “We needed this. We needed to see how the other felt after all these years.” He hummed like he might agree but didn’t say the words. “You know I’m stretching you, baby. I’m stretching you so only I fit you just right. This pussy is mine. You understand?”

“Fuck, your tits even turn pink when you blush, heartbreaker.”

He didn’t fuck me like he hated me, but instead treated me like glass, like he wanted to be gentlemanly with my first time.

“Dex?” I asked wiggling against him. His dick was still rock solid. “You didn’t get off yet.” “Right.” His jaw worked. “You want to shower?” “No,” I said slowly and pushed myself up with the little strength I had left. “I want more. I want…” I bit my lip. “Kee.” He said my name in warning. “I want you to get off too.” He started to lift me off him, but I bared down and he grumbled, “Shit. Kee, I only have so much restraint.” “I’m asking you to not have restraint,” I said. “This is an agreement between us. We’re getting each other out of our systems, right?” He finally took a hand from my hip to rub his jaw and shut his eyes in frustration. “I don’t fuck nicely, heartbreaker. You need to get off me.” “Seriously? What if I don’t want nice now?” I murmured. “What if I want more? Because I do. I want more, Dex. I want you like before in the kitchen.” “Jesus, Kee.” He combed a hand through his hair and shook his head one time, then two. “You realize what you’re asking for? I’m not the boy I was. I’m not considerate or soft anymore.” “You never were truly any of those things, Dex.” I rolled my eyes, and then I leaned in and tried to seduce him by biting at his ear. “Fuck me like you hate me, if you really do. Please.” He growled, and I knew I’d triggered the bomb within him. “I can’t take it anymore,” he ground out before he gripped my hips much harder than before and flipped us over.

“I want to hate you, you know that? And then I want to feel nothing for you. I’m still furious with you, Kee. I still want to hate you with every fucking bone in my body for how you left. How you came back, too, and fucked with my head.” I chewed at my cheek. “What are you going to do about it?” “Remember you asked for this.”

I wanted it all, and he pounded it into me. His cock was huge, inches upon inches of solid, thick muscle, and he speared me like he wanted to brand me, wanted me to be stretched exactly for him, and I was. Still, I wanted more. “Harder, Dex. Let me feel it all.” “Jesus. You were never a good girl, Kee. Doesn’t the world know that about their precious Keelani Hale? You were always a fucking bad girl,” he ground out as he slowed down to let my pussy stroke him. “Look at how you take my cock, legs spread like you’ve done this a million times. You were made to be fucked by me. We should have told the world that from the very beginning. This pussy was always mine. Always will be.”

There was so much between us. Pain, pleasure. Hate, love. Hell, heaven. We chased that heaven as he fucked me, both of us close now to getting off. “You’re on the pill?” he said, and I nodded, clawing at his back, wanting to feel him empty in me as much as he wanted to. His other hand went to my clit and pinched it as he thrust the deepest I’d felt him go. As he did, he let go of my throat, and I gasped in oxygen, gasped in pleasure, gasped in the euphoria of an orgasm that was out of this world.

THIS MAN!! 🥵🥵

The feeling was overwhelming but also calming, like I could stay that way forever. But then he got off of me, moving away fast like I could burn him, like I was poison in his sheets. He was mostly clothed as he stood over me, his cock softening but still looking thick and formidable in the dim lighting. I saw the piercing glinting in the moonlight, and my mouth watered at how attractive he was. He sighed before he tucked himself in and grumbled, “Don’t look at me that way unless you want to fuck again.” “Where are you going?” I hated that I asked the question. He buttoned up his shirt and then murmured, “Stay there.” He disappeared into the bathroom and came back with a damp white cloth. He told me to lie back and tapped my inner thigh. “Spread your legs, Keelani.” He wasn’t calling me by my nickname now, and even though it’d been one given in pain, I was tied to it for some reason. My heart felt a stab of pain that he’d resorted back to Keelani. So I closed my legs and tried to swing them off the bed to get up. “I can clean myself up.” His other hand shot out to grip my arm. “Lie down. Now.” I turned to glare at him. “This was a fuck-you-and-leave-you situation, Dex. Let’s not make it more than that.” “It was until I fucked you and figured out that I was taking your virginity.” “I don’t need special treatment because of it! I’ve been wanting to get rid of it—” “Why me?” He threw up his hands. “Because I still trust you!” “Well, you shouldn’t,” he ground out and then comma...

Tomorrow, I’ll have to do mic checks and—” “Tomorrow you’re off,” he interrupted and then hummed. “So, it’ll be the perfect time to move all your things here.” “I’m not moving in with you.” His only response to that was to brush his hand softly over my pussy with the cloth, like he cared, but he rubbed a thumb over my clit too and I hissed, “Dex!” It was the first time I saw a genuine smile whip across his face in years. His eyes sparkled, his dimples showed, and then he bit the corner of his lip like he didn’t want me to see happiness at all between us. “Just reminding you who’s in charge. You’re moving in.” “I’m not. I’m going to go home after…” I waved down. “Are you done? I’ll clean up and leave—” He didn’t let me finish. He stood and scooped me up fast after he threw down the washcloth. “What the hell, Dex!” “You’ll stay in the guest room.” He glanced back at the sheets, and I did too. I saw blood where I’d laid, evidence of what we’d done together bright red against the white sheets and shut my eyes in embarrassment. “I’ll replace those,” I whispered out. “Kee, look at me.” He was walking now, cradling me like a baby on the way to his spare room, and there was no way for me to fight him, so I gave in and peeked open an eye. “Those sheets are now a prized possession of mine. They have your innocence all over them. I might even frame them.” “Don’t be ridiculous. At least let me take them home and wash—” “I’ll take care of it.” “You don’t have to take care of it. I can ...

“Here. Get dressed. I have a car outside if you need it. And”—he turned once again to grab a box that he held out—“try this on.” I assessed how he had all this ready and realized he must have done it after I went to bed last night. He liked order and was already putting our situation in place. It was easy to succumb to it but maddening that he already had his mind set. The proposal wasn’t what I wanted. Not that I wanted one at all. Even still, the callousness of it was like rubbing gravel into old wounds. “No sweet words?” He looked down at a ring box that wasn’t there yesterday and cleared his throat. “I have nothing sweet to say, Keelani. I’m doing you a favor, and in turn, I’m closing a chapter of my life.”

A solitaire diamond stared back at me. It was massive. Two or three times the size of Ethan’s. It was a statement, but it was generic, boring, and cold. It meant nothing to Dex. I could tell right away. “You pick this out?” I asked, trying to keep emotion from my voice. “Of course not. My assistant had it sent over earlier this morning. It’ll work for six months, right?” He stood to get out of bed and kept his back to me as he grabbed his watch off the nightstand.

I saw a hint of the tattoos on his ribs but didn’t catch much more as he hurriedly threw on a shirt.

Bet there’s a tattoo for her there 🥺

Of course it fit.

“Right. That’s extremely intimate. I want them to feel me and feel what’s raw in my heart. I want to write my own stuff, have my own look, be…” I shrugged. “Me.”

He studied me for a few seconds as he rubbed his chin. “Don’t you think over the years you’ve become what you faked for so long?” It was a slight, but I didn’t stoop to his level. “Maybe parts of me are that way, but I know not all of me is, Dexton.” “Then call Olive and Pink and tell them to change your look.” He looked like he couldn’t be bothered with any of it as he pushed off the doorframe, making his way to exit the hotel. “How do you know about Olive?” He hadn’t been introduced to my best friend. “I know just about all there is to know in my casino, Kee.”

“What about your image?” I asked softly. “Why do you ask?” He didn’t look up. “I don’t know if you’ve considered what being engaged to me might do to you. My fans are used to Ethan and sometimes cruel—” He frowned at his phone then didn’t even blink as he said, “You ruined my image once, and I survived. You think I’m concerned about it again?” “Dex…” I started, but what could I say? He was right that my omissions and silence in the past had ruined him at home.

Yikes 😬

I shut my eyes and whined at his logic. “I cannot live with you right now.” “Why not?” “Because we’re completely different people than we used to be, and we don’t seem to get along at all.” “I don’t need to get along with you, Keelani. I need you to stay out of my way during the day and come to my bed at night.” He looked me up and down, his words cruel but I was sure truthful. “Oh, that sounds so good. I get to fuck an ex I have to beg for an orgasm.” I could be cruel too. Those green orbs lit with fire. “You begged for it, and then you screamed in ecstasy when you got it,” he reminded me, and I hated that I blushed. “You must realize I’m not trying to welcome you? I’m trying to make this shit believable. For your sake and mine.” “You think it’s unbelievable that I wouldn’t move in with you? I’m literally in a magazine that has a poll on if I’m still a virgin or not. Eighty percent said they thought I still was.” “I can answer that one with certainty for them,” he threw out, and my eyes widened at the fact that he was making a joke right now.

Dex’s assistant, who I decided was much too nice and beautiful to be his assistant. My mind was already full of unwarranted jealousy when it came to him. She showed up asking about where all my belongings should be placed. I told her the primary suite was perfect and that we should move some of Dex’s clothes out of the closet. “You know how it is. I’m having more clothes brought in, so he’s giving me the closet.” She peered into his closet. “He’s quite particular about where he puts things in here—” “I’m guessing he’s quite particular about a lot with you, huh?” I waited to see if she would indulge in telling me anything about him. Her blue eyes widened as she stopped straightening a statue on one of the shelves of the dresser. “Yes.” She said it hesitantly at first but then smiled at me. “As his fiancée, you know his quirks, I’m sure. All watches in a particular order in their case, cuff links placed together in their respective boxes, all his shoes polished after each wear and aligned perfectly with toes facing out. Just as he runs his business, he runs his house.” “Right. It’s why he still wants his own space. In the guest room.” I emphasized my point, and she chose not to argue.

Instead, I walked around my new home and realized Dex’s resort and casino, as well as the design of this penthouse, was everything I wanted. He had splashes of color through every room, clean lines of granite countertops mixed with dark wood floors and chandeliers above. It was classy, chic, and luxurious. Even with the perfect furnishings and decor that I loved, it occurred to me I had to make this living space mine for the time I’d be here. The primary bedroom was as much mine as it was his. Plus, he had an office, a workout room, and a damn sauna down the hall. He would be just fine. This was an equal partnership. So, I was going to get equal treatment. Although it didn’t feel that way. He could abandon this deal at any second, and my world would crumble. If I walked away from him, he’d probably be better off.

I was going to mess up all his order, and a part of me knew it would make him mad enough to lose control. A part of me wanted that. The fact that I was looking forward to it clearly showed we were heading toward having a super healthy relationship.

“You’re staying at the Black Diamond? Are you in his fucking penthouse right now, Kee?” “This isn’t a big deal.” “It is a big deal,” he grumbled. “My brother’s gone completely off the deep end. And you know what? I dealt with the damn breakup last time. With both of you.” “Did you not want us to work things through?” I countered as I got up to pace.

I sighed and tried not to think about the fact that the Hardy’s legal team would most likely be looking over my contracts soon enough too. It was only a matter of time before Dex saw how little money I made and how even that small amount was whittled away by my father claiming he’d spend it on my mother. I hoped to at least keep that part to myself. I’d signed away most of my life. It was detrimental to agree to every little thing the record label asked of me but I’d done it for my family. We all did stupid things for family. And I’d do it again. That was the hardest part. If Dex somehow found out everything and asked me, I’d tell him that I’d do it again and again. I did it for my mother and father. It’s what you had to do for family.

“Yeah, because you rebranding and then trying to do it while being engaged to my brother, living here? It’s— I think you and Dex might kill each other.” “Be realistic.” I waved away his concern. “You realize my brother is going to come through that door and flip the fuck out when he sees you moved all your stuff into his room?” “He wanted me to move in.” It’s exactly what I was going to say to him too. I then pointed to my purple bedspread. “I’m just making myself at home.” “Did he say to do that?” “I don’t care what he said.” I fluffed my hair in front of the bralette. “It looks like a purple bomb went off in here.” “Purple’s my favorite color.”

Dimitri’s eyes narrowed on Olive’s. “Look. I wanted her and Dex to work through their past, but get engaged? You think she’s capable of handling all that along with a rebrand?” “What’s that supposed to mean?” I interjected. “You want me to spell it out for you?” I frowned at him because I highly doubted he would. “Please do.” “Why do you need this rebrand now? Why not in a year or two or even three?” “I don’t know. There’s a lot of reasons,” I said. Yet, I looked away from my best friend, and he caught me immediately. He knew as well as I did there were only a few reasons I kept singing my songs to the masses. It wasn’t for the fame. I hated the press. Hated my record label even more. And the money hadn’t been good until this Black Diamond deal with Dex. None of that mattered though. It was for my family. For my mother. For her comfort. For her love. And maybe, hopefully, one day for her recognition.

“Trying to push yourself through all this is asking for a breakdown. You want that on your image?” “I’m capable of handling this, Dimitri.” “Yes, I’m not arguing that you’re incapable. I’m arguing whether it’s healthy or not. You have to take care of yourself for once.” “I am. I always do.” I crossed my arms. “You have never put yourself first. And if I have to make sure to protect you from—” He was cut off from a voice behind us. “Protect my fiancée from who?” Dex said.

“It was a mutual decision between me and your best friend, Dimitri.” He sneered the label. “I’m sure she told you, considering you're the one who forced us into such close proximity in the first place.” “Don’t put that shit on me.” Dimitri took a step toward him. “She’s not doing this. You need to reevaluate what you’re asking of her, because she’s going through too much right now to—” “Stop,” I blurted out abruptly. He knew I didn’t share my mother’s condition with anyone unnecessarily, and I knew that was what he was about to do. “You gotta be honest,” Dimitri practically pleaded. “Honest about what?” Dex questioned. “Nothing.” I glared at them both. This was my life, and I was going to make my own decisions about it for once. “This is about my wardrobe. Nothing else. If you’re here for that, feel free to stay. If not, I’d like my room to myself because I have work to do.” It took that moment for Dex to realize the room’s changes. The colors. The bedspread. The few pillows and vase. My name came from deep in his chest, low in warning. “Kee.” “Oh, look at the time,” Pink said suddenly. “I have another client. I’ll be leaving now.” Dex didn’t take his eyes off me. “You can all leave. But, since I’m sure Kee told you, the engagement is real to anyone else and don’t spread the news until PR does. See yourselves out.”

They stood there bickering over me, and I tried my best not to have a moment of déjà vu. They were bigger now but still argued like boys, and I stood there like a girl totally enamored with both of them in different ways. Dimitri would protect me always, and Dex would push all my buttons to see me spiral into oblivion with him.

I popped a hip out now to interject. “Do you think I don’t have a backbone or something?” “Not with them.” Dex shrugged and then looked me up and down. “Would you disagree?” “Don’t say that shit to her.” Dimitri shoved Dex, and Dex looked down at his chest where Dimitri’s hands had just been and smiled. No dimples this time. Just teeth that he ran his tongue over. “You want to fight this fight now?” He cracked his neck, and that’s when I knew things were getting out of hand.

“You’re a masochist. Or a genius. Or both, Keelani.” He squeezed me before he let me go and murmured, “Call me if you need me.” I replied back, “Always when, never if.” “She won’t need you,” Dex announced. “She most definitely will. It’s why I’ll be here the whole six months, Dex. Watching to make sure you don’t fuck this up.” Then, he said, “You hurt my best friend, I break your face, Dex, even if you are my brother.” “Wouldn’t have it any other way, Dimitri,” Dex said, but he was staring at me now, a look I couldn’t quite read on his face.

“I’m going to ask this once, and I know I shouldn’t. Did you have something with my brother?”

Jealous ass 🙄

“Did you kiss him?” My blood was starting to boil. “So what if I did?” She shrugged and then turned around. “Help me get out of this bralette since you're so ridiculously territorial you won’t even let your brother do it. As if he hasn’t seen me naked already.” I practically choked on my own saliva as I tried to work through her confession. I grabbed at the string, but it tangled more as I cinched it this way and that. “Why the hell has he seen you naked?”

😈😈