Between Never and Forever

by Shain Rose

Dex stood there in a three-piece suit, taller than most and more in control than anyone. He’d aged well too, so well my knees practically went weak as I got to the chorus. His gaze was cold, though. His green eyes sliced through me like I was a weed in his path. And maybe I was. I was an obstacle, a disturbance for him, one he definitely didn’t want. In that moment, the only anchor I had was the mic in front of me. I gripped it like a lifeline and let the words flow out of me. I bled my emotions out onto that stage because my music did that for me every time.

And Dex would make sure to unnerve me all the same. He’d probably find a way to get me out of here by the end of the night. I could see his mind working on it already. But then Pink’s words came back to me. Do whatever the fuck you want. Bane and Dex aren’t going to let anything happen to you. They take care of what’s theirs. So, show them what you’re made of. This small, intimate audience size was the kind I’d always dreamed about, the kind I wanted to sing my own personal songs for. Fear and adrenaline coursed through me. This was either going to be the place I healed or the place I was completely destroyed. Suddenly, I wanted to be healed or destroyed. I wanted the closure. For the first time in years, I looked out at him and felt peace. I silenced the violins so I could sing the next song a cappella. It was fresh, it was new, and it was real. I wanted to finally show them who I was. And it wasn’t the sweetheart I’d been pretending to be.

I’d left behind our hometown, my life, and my damn heart to move on and away from her. Hadn’t I made that clear?

“I’m fucking married, Dex. Get a grip.” My oldest brother’s jaw ticked. “She’s singing our first dance song. Then, she’s singing at this casino. Then”—he glanced at all of us and smiled like they’d come up with the best plan ever—“I put her in the same apartment building as you for the next six months. You know how Keelani is. She gets a bit crazy when she’s somewhere new. So, keep an eye on her. Mom and Dad love her, and you don’t want her parents thinking we didn’t take care of her while she was working in our—” “I don’t need anyone to take care of me,” I heard from behind me.

My fucking little brother was her safe haven. He had that spot in her heart, and I hated that I was jealous of him for that. My date, Seanna, arrived back at my side with a flute of champagne. “She’s very pretty.”

Ew. I hate other girls

She smiled. “That’s fine. You intend to talk with her tonight then?”

Ew

“Stipulations for…” My words drifted off. Both my older brothers knew Carl better than I had. When he passed away, Carl hadn’t burdened Dimitri and me with much, but he had required in his will that we not go back on any contracts we signed in the next ten years. “You motherfuck—” “I did it for you and her. So get your head out of your ass and get on board with six months. You haven’t seen her in years, and you’re both still not over the relationship you had. Either end it here or start it over.” He walked off; left me at the bar, alone in my thoughts.

My closure consisted of avoiding everything about her—news articles, my brother seeing her, my family discussing any of the Hales. Nobody brought them up for good reason. I’d been fine until now, until my brothers bombarded me with my past.

And the cherry on top was seeing Dex across the casino floor, standing there with a beautiful woman on his arm. His date was tall, stoic, and fit next to him perfectly as she turned to him to whisper something in his ear.

“Yeah. Maybe I should come up there and—” “Not happening.” It wasn’t my voice but Dex’s, from behind me, that cut through Ethan’s proposition. I whipped around, surprised to see him standing before us with a scowl on his face. “Keelani, we have business to discuss.” His date was gone, but mine didn’t get lost so easily. “It’s almost midnight,” Ethan retorted. “And she’s still working. She’s contracted for this wedding.”

At that point, Dimitri made his way over. “I’ll take Keelani back to her room.” “Nope.” Dex shook his head. “Kee’s coming with me.” “Dex—” “Dimitri, I’m this close.” His voice shook, full of emotion. I didn’t know if it was anger or disgust.

I left them all there. Those men wanted to control the narrative, and tonight, I couldn’t be bothered with much more of it. I was getting engaged to a man I didn’t want after years of acting like I did just because a record label told me to. I felt stuck, caged, bound up. Most of all, I felt like a fraud. How had I let things go for so long?

The addendum to your contract will help too.”

Wow

“Can you tell her something for me so I can hear her voice, Dad?” He cleared his throat and then I heard, “Keelani’s sleeping at her friend’s tonight, love.” “Hm. She staying at Gabriella’s or she sneaking off to hang out with those Hardy boys?”

“Because I could only look at you all night.” He combed a hand through his thick hair. “I’ve been with her for two years, and it’s been damn near fifteen years without you,” he said, and his voice suddenly held all the pain I felt. “And yet I hear your voice on that stage, look at you singing, and I still only want you.”

Don’t say it, Keelani. Don’t you dare. But the words squeaked out anyway. “Two years?” He put his hands in his pockets. “Yep. Coming up on two and a half.” Jesus, why did that hurt so much? “Is she your girlfriend?” “Does it matter?” He lifted a brow. “No.” Yes. “Then why ask the question?” “I don’t know. You brought it up.” “Bullshit.” He rolled his eyes like he still knew me. “You’re as jealous as I am.”

“You picture me every time you fuck your fiancé, too, Kee?”

I think she’s a virgin 🤨

I glared at him. “I’m sorry. You’re jealous of what exactly? I didn’t have a date hanging on me all night, whispering in my ear—” “You accepted a proposal from the guy you’ve been dating for fifteen fucking years.” “You’ve known from the very beginning it’s fake for the media! I don’t even want to marry him,” I blurted out before slapping my hand over my mouth. He smirked like he’d goaded me there, like we were in a chess match and he’d won. I even caught a hint of the dimples I used to love flash across his face. I had to admit he still knew me enough to piss me off. He continued on in his stupid chess game, moving me around like I was a game piece he could control. “Then don’t. Don’t get engaged to him. Call your record label right now and tell them no. Kill the story.” He sighed. “I don’t want that shit in the papers tomorrow, Kee.”

But here, in front of him, I was just a human, and a vulnerable one at that. “I can’t do that,” I told him quietly as I shook my head. His stare hardened. “Still chasing that fame then?” “That’s not—” I took a breath so I didn’t fall down the hole of pain and fury with him. “I have contingencies in my contract. I don’t care about the fame, but the time and money are valuable.” He chuckled and rubbed his five o’clock shadow. “Money and time? You’re here for six months, and we’re paying you plenty.” I hated that he acted like he knew everything. “You’re paying my record label plenty, sure.” “So, what? You want a few more shoes in your closet?” He looked me up and down. “Fine. I’ll double it.” “Double it?” I squeaked. “Not good enough? Triple it. What do I care? And it can be outside the label’s contract so you can keep it all to yourself.” That money would let me pay for my mother’s care for years and give me an opportunity to do what I wanted for once. I’d be free finally. Still, the deal was too good to be true. I, more than anyone, knew what that looked like now. I stepped back and shook my head. “They won’t agree. They need me to look like I’m going to marry someone. They want the publicity. Without the engagement, there’s no story and—” “Then you get engaged to me.” “What?” I hadn’t heard him right, surely. “Get engaged to me. Give them the story of a lifetime.”

She needs the money.. not the record label..

trying to get you out of my system without having you here to actually do it.” I scoffed. “It’s not happening, Dex. I’m not marrying you.” “You either marry me, heartbreaker, or you don’t get married at all.” Without another word, he spun around and put his phone to his ear. “Yeah, hi, Seanna. You make it home?” I narrowed my eyes on him. He was calling his girlfriend after just proposing that sort of deal to me? “Yes, I’m still here with her.” He nodded and then looked directly in my eyes. “I wanted to let you know, I intend to marry her…if she’ll have me.” The galloping of my heart stopped. Everything did. Dex was here in front of me, promising himself for six months, and suddenly all my anxieties and worries ceased. This was a disaster waiting to happen, but it was also the place I knew I wanted to break apart. Beside him. For him. Because of him. If I couldn’t find myself with the one man I’d always loved, I could destroy myself at the very least. And I’d still be me. He paused again. “Seanna, I don’t know, and it won’t matter. I don’t expect or want you to wait.” He sighed. “Sure. Friends.” Then he clicked off his phone and slid it back into his pocket before his gaze caught mine, determined now. “Your turn.” His tone was commanding and authoritative. “Call your fiancé.” He sneered the word, grating on my every nerve. “Just…” I took a deep breath. “Stop calling him that.” “Why? That’s what he is.” Now he was goading me. “You gonna marry another man when you belong to ...

“It doesn’t matter,” he cut me off. “Especially when we can make all that go away with you following through with my plan.” “Does everyone do what you want around here, Dex?” “It’s my resort. Of course they do.” “You think me being with you is going to fix everything?” “It’ll be a start.” He crossed his arms and stared down at me with disgust. “If you think that, you’re living in a fantasy land.” “A fantasy?” He lifted a brow and then leaned in close. “You’re real, Kee. Maybe the all-American Keelani Hale isn’t real, but you here in front of me is. I still feel you next me. I still hear your laugh. I still smell how sweet you taste—” “Stop.” Too late. He already saw the goose bumps rise on my skin. He slid his finger across them on my arm, and we both watched how my body immediately reacted to him. I licked my lips and met his eyes right as he looked at me. “I won’t stop until I have you. You know that, Kee. I won’t stop till I get you out of my fucking system.” “Out of your system while you infect mine?” I shook my head at him. To anyone else, this conversation may have been dramatic, but I knew how Dex could ruin me. I’d never love another man like I loved him. Leaving him had broken not only my heart, but my soul and my spirit. “Tit for tat, heartbreaker. You ruined my whole life when you left.” “And if I don’t?” “You want to risk what I’ll do if you remain engaged to someone I hate while under contract with me?” “So…what? You’re going to make my life hell if I’m engage...

“L-Look. I already agreed to be with—” “If you say you’re with Ethan Phillipe one more fucking time, I’ll bring him here and make him admit to everyone your engagement is a fuck-up of a sham. Maybe I’ll make him admit how many times he’s fucked you too.” I rolled my eyes, because I could only tell him we were fake so many times. “What if he says it was a million?” He growled and paced away from me before he came right back and said, “You want him to die, don’t you? He must have been real fucking annoying over the years if you’re willing to goad me into punching him a million times.”

I REEEAAAALLLYYY think she’s a virgin 😬

One side of Dex’s mouth kicked up. “I don’t know anything, Kee. But I’m going to learn. I got six months to learn every part of you.”

I’d been trapped far too long. “You do realize the fact that I have to act like sweet Keelani all the time in front of people makes me less sweet behind closed doors.” He hummed. “I think I might enjoy the sour version of you after all this time.” “Is that so?” “Sure. But even if I do enjoy you, I’m still going to fuck you like I hate you when we get back to the room.” My stupid, traitorous core clenched in response to his comment. This was going to be the longest six months of my life. I already knew it. I ordered two shots and downed them both.

“There she is,” I said as I watched her swallow the hard liquor without wincing. She slammed the small glass back onto the bar, pulled that silly baseball cap down over her forehead, and then narrowed her eyes at me. “Another.”

It was how I already knew we were going to have problems and that my plan to get her out of my system was shit. Keelani wasn’t a woman I could get out of my system. She instead got in there, rearranged it all, and rewrote my DNA. I knew it the second I saw her on that stage tonight, singing a song that wasn’t on any of her albums. I was ashamed to admit I knew them all by heart.

“As opposed to a stalker here and there. Obsessive fans. Men with too much time on their hands. Women ready to tear down other women in any fashion. Someone looking to make a quick buck. The list goes on and on.” “I’m happy to control some of that when you’re with me.” “You can’t.” I hummed. I didn’t think Keelani was aware of how powerful I’d become. “We’ll see.” “You think you can control everything, Dex.” She shook her head at me. “Are you saying I can’t?” “You’ve never controlled me.” Her eyes were so dark, I could never classify them as chocolate or violet. I couldn’t see exactly what emotion she felt, either, as I stared at her. She wasn’t like most people I dealt with now who I could put specifically into one box. Instead, she jumbled the way I lived, the way I categorized my life, the way I survived in it. “And yet, here you are, in my resort, under my contract.” That meant she was mine. It had to mean that now. “Technically, you and your brothers and Bane own this—” “They’re going to let me handle your contract, and we both know it.”

I sighed at her circling a drain. She knew she was going to go down it with me. “Stop arguing with me and say yes.” “No.” “That answer will change by the end of the night.” I nodded at the bottle the bartender had left. “Take it and let’s go.” She took a deep breath before she stood in that flowy dress that still somehow showed all her curves when she walked and swiped the bottle off the counter before walking past me. I loved that she wanted to lead the way, even when she didn’t know which elevator we were going to. Still, my hand found the small of her back and steered her in the right direction. Even after all these years, our bodies worked together and complemented each other.

Keelani gasped when I pushed them open.

“And I’m sure your brothers have profited off it.” I couldn’t tell if her tone was angry or not. “Should I be ashamed of that?” “No.” She shrugged and turned to me. “I’m ashamed I can’t control my life the way you all seem to control the world. The way Mitchell has controlled me. The way you all morph it into what you want, no matter the casualties.”

“If I do this…” Who was she kidding? I scoffed and said, “You’re doing it.” “If I do this, you let me sing what I want and do what I want on stage… Let me change my brand here.” “Change it into what?" “Not the all-American sweetheart I’m sick of being.” “Interesting. Don’t want to be a good girl anymore, huh?” She’d shown me her hand.

“Oh my God. You know what? Just figure it out with the record label if you want this to happen, because they’ll balk. I was with Ethan a few hours ago, and their all-American sweetheart should never be seen jumping from guy to guy.” “No one will care.” I shrugged. “No one… No one…” she stuttered. “You realize I’m a woman? I’ll get slaughtered for breaking Ethan’s heart, and they’ll claim I cheated on him with you.” “Maybe you should admit it was the other way around.” Saying that one out loud hurt, but it was true. Her eyes widened as she gasped and then stepped back like I’d hit her. Her face contorted in pain. “You can’t honestly believe that.” “What else should I believe?” Fuck, I hated to admit that my palms were sweating as I waited to hear if she’d lie. She shut her eyes hard, squeezed them so her long lashes curled up on her beautiful skin and then opened them with tears glistening. “I need to finish out this contract, Dex. I’m not going to change your mind about me. So, believe what you want. I don’t care.” I stepped close to her. I did it so fast, my chest came to her chest, and immediately, she whipped her head up to meet my eyes. “You don’t care? You don’t care that for years I’ve had nightmares about you with him? And then dreams of fucking you away from him? You don’t care that I’m about to make that happen now?” “Just because I’d get fake engaged to you doesn’t mean I’m going to sleep with—” My hand went to her neck, and I practically pulled her off the groun...

Tonight, we were both being reckless. Her probably more so. She had a reputation to uphold, after all. It was dangerous. Defiant. And exactly what I wanted us to be. She pulled back, breathless, to glare at me and make her point known. “I hate that I’m doing this. Hate you for even pushing us here where we don’t belong.” “We’ve always belonged together, and you know it.” She shook her head. “You’d better make this worth it, Dex.” And then she dove back in.

She tasted like tequila and citrus but still somehow smelled like lilacs. It reminded me of the year I lost everything. I’d lost my reputation, my friends, my heart. Most importantly, I’d lost her. I dug into my pocket and handed her my phone. “Call your label.” She hesitated. “It’s pretty late to be—” “Now.”

“It’s Dexton Hardy.”

took a deep breath, not because I was angry but because Kee scolding me was something I missed getting turned on by. I had to go slow here. I had to be strategic on how I was going to get her out of my system. My body wanted a moment to remind her of something though, and I took the opportunity. I set the glass of water down and turned to stand chest-to-chest with her. I pushed up against her so she’d step back and then back again, until she hit the counter. My hands went to either side of her, and I leaned on them so I was close to her ear when I said, “Do me a favor, then. Let me touch you while you’re on the phone with him.” “I’m sorry… What?” I spun her toward the counter and moved close, caging her against the granite. “If I don’t affect you, prove it. Wouldn’t you rather show me once and for all you don’t want to fuck around during our engagement?” I already had a hold of her maxi dress and was lifting it slowly.

FUCK THATS HOT 🥵🥵

I peered over her shoulder to catch her biting that pout of hers as I asked quietly, “Scared you can’t?”

“I seem to remember you promising me forever when you whispered you loved me.” “I was a kid. Like you said, it was a childhood crush.” I hummed. I’d used those words to hurt her, and I guess they had. Her saying them back at me years later stung badly.

You won’t walk all over me like—” I stopped. Fuck, I was still mad at her, and I wanted to punish her for it, make her feel it, make her suffer like I did.

She picked up the phone, her eyes holding a challenge now too. “You might control this whole city—they might be scared and listen to you—but you don’t affect me at all. Go on and try to prove otherwise.” With that, she pressed Ethan’s number, and I ripped her dress up her hips so I could see the thong she had on underneath. I leaned close to whisper in her ear, “Bend over the counter and face the window. Look out at the city I rule and feel how I’m going to rule you too.”

Dex Hardy against me wasn’t something I could ignore.

The vibration of his growl weakened me as his hands squeezed the globes of my ass.

And the thought of him with others curdled in my stomach as I tried to hold my ground. I may have loved him once, but we were adults now.

“Put it on speaker.” I glared over my shoulder, but he simply lifted a brow. The man was a masochist, I swear. Still, I did as I was told and placed the phone on the counter.

“He’s answering pretty fast for a fake fiancé,” Dex grumbled.

Ethan.” I cleared my throat because I sounded much too breathy for the call.

He chuckled but I spoke loudly over him. “Did the record label happen to call you?” “Now?” he grumbled. “What time is it?” “Sorry. It’s extremely late.” Dex’s finger curled up and into my core slowly, and my hands slammed down on the counter. “Kee, have you been drinking?” “No. Well, yes.” I shut my eyes as he thrust in another and curled them up against my G-spot. “That’s not why—” “Babe, you okay? Give me a sec. I’m with someone.” There was rustling on the other line as Dex whispered in my ear, “Seems your fiancé is fooling around on you too.” The comment was ridiculous. “You know we’re not really together,” I seethed for the millionth time. “What was that, babe?” Ethan asked now. “Sorry. I’ve got Janey in the other room.” I narrowed my eyes at Dex, ready to put this ridiculous narrative to bed. “Right. Ethan, I have Dex here.” As I said it, the man had the audacity to brush a finger over my ass, and I gasped but kept talking, my voice strained. “He’s convinced we’re in a real relationship.”

“Well, that’s unfortunate. I had the whole story about that one night we stayed up at my place and you…” I heard the mirth in his voice but lost focus when Dex pulled his fingers from me as he growled, spun me around, then lifted me onto the counter where he ripped the thong clean off me. “Jesus,” I gasped.

“You can hear me, right?” Dex’s jaw was working over and over as he stood between my legs in that kitchen, his hands on either side of me but not touching me now. He finally answered, “I can hear you.” “Oh, good. She likes soft touches on her inner thigh and when you blow on her neck. We might not have been exclusive together, but I guess I should help you out since you abandoned her for years to let her hang on my arm.” The anger and jealousy ricocheted silently through that penthouse at Ethan’s words. I felt how they shook the walls and my soul as Dex held my gaze. “You seem to know the whole story. Did Keelani tell you she left me first?”

“Want me to stop, Kee?” I bit my lip because I couldn’t bring myself to say no. I wanted him, I wanted this, I wanted a new path away from Ethan, away from the label, away from what I’d been. “Yes or no?” “No.” “That’s what I thought.” He chuckled darkly. “You into hearing your ex-fiancée scream someone else’s name, Ethan?” If that man said yes, I was going to kill him later. Of course Ethan wanted to push boundaries, though, and said, “She still wearing my ring? If so, she’s technically still my fiancée.”