The Canary Cowards

by Jescie Hall

I'm such a guy right now. Everything she just said, I pictured with a side of sex. Meet my limits? Break me? Girl, you wish you could. I'd rock your whole bland little homeless world.

“It's best not to be ashamed of a body that heals itself with such beauty.”

A feeling that suggests I might do something that's against the rules. Something totally off-brand for me. I think I have a crush on that stupid boy.

If I look, I'll fall. And a fall into Lake is something I'll never come back from.

“We don't have to tell anyone.” I pull her deeper between my thighs again, so her hips meet the edge of the table I'm propped on. “If that’s what you’re worried about.”

“If you knew you could have me all to yourself for one night, no strings attached, would you take it?”

“One night with me would never be enough for you, Decker,” she breathes into my ear.

My world is shook. I was so sure I was close to cracking her. But apparently, I'm illiterate when it comes to reading rooms.

My oxygen only comes from rooms not filled with Lake. I've decided rooms with Lake are like drowning. Maybe that's the reason for the name. In his presence, there's an overwhelming feeling of suffocation from the increased pressure and lack of air.

Fuck the real world. I'm getting lost in my fiction tonight.

“Open the door before I fucking split it in half,” he grumbles through his clenched teeth.

“Please. Just please tell me I can kiss you.” His hoarse tone emanates his pain as he peers from my lips and back.

I swallow, surrendering to my body just this once, and give the lightest nod before he comes crashing down onto me.

We're both losing this game, and I can't believe I'm even thinking this, but I've never loved losing more.

“I'm only a dick because you drive me mad,” I explain, my voice shaky as she strokes me. “I want you and you couldn’t care less, remember? That infuriates me.” “So you act like a child because you can't have what you want?” “Yeah,” I moan like a weak bitch when she cups my balls in her palm, rolling her fingers along them. “I-I'm a fucking child.”

“Say you're sorry,” she demands, her tongue tracing her lips as she continues to stroke my cock through the sweats. “For how you treated me today.”

shake my head. “I'm so fucking sorry.” I fall back onto her, my lips pressing softly against hers again.

“How can you be possessive of something that isn't yours?” Because you will be mine. You just don't know it yet.

“I'm sorry.” He shakes his head, backing away from me. “I need to feel your first around me,” he says, standing and pulling his sweats down his chiseled form. “Have to.”

But fear quickly stamps that anticipation as I eye the school bus full of children he thinks he's driving into me.

“We'll ease into it.” He smirks, rolling the condom on as he slowly stalks toward me again.

Using the momentum, I roll him onto his back. His eyes are wide with shock at the wrestling move I've just pulled from my back pocket. “I'll ease into it,” I say, holding his wrists above his head now as I straddle myself above him.

“Just as long as you kiss me while you do it,” he whispers, his smile fading into something serious.

Lake wants to kiss me while he enters me? My stomach twists at the thought.

“So.” Kiss. “Fucking.” Kiss with tongue. “Good,” he says in a raspy tone.

As if the separation from my mouth is too much for him, he pulls me back to his lips so he can seemingly breathe again.

Lake Decker made love to me. He doesn't need to fuck me. I've successfully found a way to fuck myself.

“It's the not being able to kiss you that makes me want to kiss you, you see?” he whispers before biting down on his bottom lip.

I'm surprised by the feel of his powerful hand on my jaw, followed by his soft, pillowy lips back on mine like they never left.

This kiss is the kind you wish to never have. You feel it in places you didn't know existed.

I'd never believed those books that described kisses that could make backgrounds fade, moments that make time cease to exist. But, I get it now.

“I used to be so obsessed with speed and racing that I totally bypassed being Jeff Gordon, the driver, and wanted to embody the Rainbow Warrior, his car.”

“I'll take you any way I can get you, Dylan, for however long it takes, even if that means we have to keep it discreet.”

“But what I won't do is let you go.”

“And that’s on rainbow.” She looks bewildered for a moment before the pieces connect, and she replies, “The jacket.”

“I'm your therapist, Lake,” she whispers against my shaft, her tongue licking around the crown. “So you can't touch me.” She closes her hand around me, stroking my length a few times. “But I can touch you anywhere I want.”

“A look of jealousy?” he asks. “A look of a man who's frustrated because he can't have the only girl he seems to want? A man who aches to touch you in public the way this man was effortlessly allowed?”

“Girls are all over me,” he admits, coming to stand before me. “In my DMs, in my house with Candy, here at the bar...wanting me. Constantly.” He shakes his head. “But it’s like I have blinders on. I can’t see them at all. All I see is you. All I can think about is you. All I want is to be let into your little world, to be close with you, with Colin. To know your secrets better than anyone else. Better than him.”

“Everyone wants you,” he repeats, knowing it didn't resonate. “But who do you want?” he directs his question at me like a weapon,

“I need to hear it.”

“You,” my pussy literally answers for me. “Say it again,” he demands, gazing at my lips as if he can see the word on my tongue needing to be released again. “It's you I want.”

want you so bad it hurts.” I feel how badly he wants me. I feel it against my hip as he towers over me.

“Tell me I can kiss you again.”

“Tell me I can kiss you.” The way he always asks for my consent by somehow demanding it makes me stir with this chaotic need I've stored away my entire life. Until him.

“If you even for a second think you're gonna run, know I'll chase you. I'll chase until you're mine,” he whispers, grabbing my wrists and placing them on both sides of the headrest, making me fall forward into him again. “I'll catch you when you're slippin’.” He leans forward to capture my lips, pulling my bottom lip between his and sucking it tenderly before releasing it. “And you'll love every bit of getting caught.”

“Don't make me regret it,” I whisper, peering from his soft lips to his curious eyes. “Training me?” “No,” I reply simply. “Slipping.”

I grip my shirt by the back of my neck, pulling it off quickly before my arms wrap around her lower back, needing her against my skin, her lips sealing to me like I’m her lifeline to breathing.

I'm going to bust into my hand if she keeps talking like that. But I need her lips first. “Kiss—” “Kiss you,” she interrupts, facing me now. Her swollen lips glimmer in the moonlight. “I know.” Her sweet whisper melts into my ear as she continues, “I know what you like.”

She's figured me out, knows my weaknesses, and I’m forced to submit myself to her.

“It's you, D,” I groan between kisses. “It's us. It has to be.”