Service Model

by Adrian Tchaikovsky

“Our investigations have determined that yesterday morning, at the time in his daily routine when Proprietor would normally be enjoying a shave, parties unknown entered his bedchamber and inflicted lethal injuries as per the forensic report of Doctor Namehere hereinbefore. As a result of these lethal injuries, Proprietor expired unlawfully and is now dead. Sergeant Lune, take a note.” “Recording has been disabled,” Sergeant Lune noted mournfully. “We have examined the house’s recordings of the room where the events took place, which purport to show the culprit entering and committing the crime.” To forestall Charles’ fresh attempt at confession, Birdbot made a silencing gesture. “However, true criminal detection work is seldom so simple. All too often the obvious suspect is merely a red herring and circumstantial evidence such as being recorded committing the crime is only misdirection. We must consider method, motive, and opportunity.” Charles shifted position until he was directly where Birdbot was facing. The inspector smoothly turned on his heel to look elsewhere. “Method,” he announced. “Forensic analysis has revealed that the most likely murder weapon was a straight razor such as the implement that Charles the Valet was using in the house recordings of him murdering Proprietor. Who amongst those present in the house had access to this method?” His flat, glass-eye gaze scoured the room. “It could have been anyone in this room.” Again, Charles tried to sidle into Birdb...

Parody of murder mystery