Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship

by Stan Tatkin

In other words, attachment research, as with all research, simply describes something that is being studied and eventually classified by nomenclature. Terrific for science, but not so good for the lay population to use on each other. Hence my internal conflict for having introduced you to these labels in the first place.

Notice what you do when you’re scared. Notice what you do when feeling threatened. You turn to the same person who makes you feel most secure and safe. This should be your partner. The two of you must be the shelter from all storms. Why? Because you both can, and because the alternative is really bad.