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In fact, I think I had already been worrying about someone using a telephoto lens to take pictures through our windows when the note arrived. Worrying is the wrong word—more like hoping. I hoped this was happening and had been happening since my birth, or something along these lines. If not this man through the windows, then God, or my parents, or my real parents, who are actually just my parents, or the real me, who has been waiting for the right moment to take over, tap me out. Just please let there be someone who cares enough to watch over me. It took me two days to call Brian the neighbor
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It wasn’t jealousy exactly; being a third wheel is my native state.
Nobody knows what’s going on. We are thrown across our lives by winds that started blowing millions of years ago.
was so good at knowing what I wanted and then choosing something else at the very last second.
Someone called my name. It was him; he was standing by his car. I jogged over. I had to jog because walking was too slow. “Should we go?” “I wish I could.” He held up his phone apologetically. “Claire needs me to do some house stuff.” I nodded. I didn’t think I would repack carefully this time. Probably just throw everything in my suitcase. Also the rest of my life would be a slog and then I would die. Which is the case for many people. It’s no big deal.
“Hey,” they said. The young woman in the couple had hair down to her butt and wore a bra that was somehow a shirt. She looked me up and down not understanding that my outfit was sexy, too. We all went inside. Were we going to spend the whole night with this couple? I wanted to cry. The girl tossed her hair over her shoulder and mimed holding an invisible pool cue. “Gonna clobber him,” she said, and the couple headed down a hallway to the right. Wonderful people, loved them. Davey guided us into the main room.
As I came down to Earth I wondered if I’d misunderstood the fork in the road Mary had been talking about. I’d thought the two paths were: sex with Davey vs. a life of bitterness and regret But maybe the road split between: a life spent longing vs. a life that was continually surprising
“Well, who knows.” I shrugged, lest any gods think me foolish. “I’m sure there’s more surprises to come.” “Just enjoy it!” Okay, I said, and did a little dance, a silly jig, like Humpty Dumpty or a lesser-known egg.
