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“Say you missed me.” “W-what?” “During the time we were apart, tell me you fucking missed me. Even if it’s a lie, say it.” “I did…I missed you… I missed you so fucking much.”
“Love it when you make a mess.” He thrusts faster, his muscles tightening and a vein popping in his neck. “I love it when you come.”
“You look like fucking mine.”
“Get on your hands and knees, baby. I’m going to fuck you again. This time, like an animal.”
“I just can’t help but feel proud that I made you enjoy the glorious act of fucking.”
“Fucking Clara and everyone who saw you naked.” “You need help.” I suppress a smile. “You’re the one who’s had more sex than me.” “Yeah, but I’ve never had a relationship and I don’t feel fucking murderous about them like I do with you.”
“Have you ever thought about getting a tattoo?” “No. I don’t like them on me. I prefer to leave my skin unblemished.” “You’re so prim and proper.” “Not all of us can wear tattoos. They look good on you, though.” “Did you just admit to liking my tattoos?” “I didn’t say I like them.” “Fuck me. You do. You’re blushing, baby.”
Defined Blushing.
This monster of a man belongs to me.
“I’m going to ask you a serious question.” “What?” “You said you were in love once. Who were you in love with?” “Huh?” I stare at him as if he’s grown two heads. “That day during that never have I ever game. You took the shot when Kill said ‘never have I ever been in love.’ Who stole your heart? I want to know.”
“I lied. I was never in love.”
“Why did you lie?” “You were looking at me weird.” “How weird?” “Like you wanted to devour me on the spot.” “I always wanted to devour you, baby.” “Oh, really? I must’ve missed that.” “Christ. Was that sarcasm again?”
I love their relationship!
“You said you always top. Did you ever consider bottoming?”
“Why?” He raises a brow. “You want to fuck me?” I can feel the heat rising to my cheeks and I gulp the tea trapped in my mouth. “That’s not what I meant. I was just asking.” “I don’t like it, but I’d let you if you wanted to try it out.” “But you just said you don’t like it.” “I’d rather let you fuck me than you running off to experiment with someone else.”
“You don’t have to worry about that. I really prefer being fucked by you. I like the feeling of…uh, letting go and losing control.”
“I lied. I don’t only want a morning kiss.” His lips ghost over mine. “I need a morning fuck as well.”
“A much older professor, huh?” I grin. “You’re much more adventurous than I thought, cousin. I’m actually impressed.” “It’s nothing serious, so don’t tell anyone.” “You sure about that?” “Yeah.” I grab him by the shoulder. “Want me to continue my lesson about butt stuff?” “No, thanks.”
Lmao.
Now, he releases a long breath. “You need to quit the habit of stalking me.” “I thought I was being subtle.” “Subtle? I could sense your eyes digging a hole in the back of my head.” “More accurately, your ass, baby.” “You’re not even going to offer an excuse?” I shrug. “Do I need to? I’m a simple man. I missed you, so I came to see you.” “We were together this morning.” “I need a dose of you at all times.”
Period.
I love beating things and people up, but I have enough agency to stop. Can’t do that with you. It’s impossible.” “Hmm. So I’m more important than violence?” “Fuck yeah.” He smiles a little. “Good.” “You like torturing me?” “It’s only fair.”
“Fuck, baby.” I pant. “What was that for?” “I’ve wanted to do that since I saw you.”
“I can only sleep in a bed when you’re there.”
I grin. “Jealous, baby?” He doesn’t smile back as he fists my hair in a painful grip. “You belong to me, Nikolai. I do not share, are we clear?” “Fuck. I love it when you get all possessive.” “That’s not an answer. I don’t want to see you with girls or guys hanging onto your arm or sitting on your lap. I don’t want anyone to touch you, period.” “Only if you don’t let anyone touch you.” “I won’t.”
“By the way, I googled the meaning of Brandon, and it literally means prince or king. Don’t I get brownie points for calling you Prince Charming?” “More like stalkerish tendencies points. Who googles the meaning of other people’s names?” “I do because it’s you. I’m curious about everything that concerns you.”
“You cut yourself?” My words are low, but they’re so loud in the silence. “Why?” “Because I’m fucked up.” His voice sounds like death’s lullaby, anguished and shattered. “Because I look at myself in the mirror and get the urge to shatter it to pieces. Because I’ve been haunted by the bitter taste of nausea and self-loathing for so long, I don’t know how to live without them. I was doing fine, pretending and putting on a façade, so why the fuck did you ruin that? Why did you come into my life and destroy every wall I built and ruin every lie I told myself? Why do you touch me like I’m
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“You’re mine, Brandon. Fucking mine. If you think there’s another option out there for you other than me, I have a news flash for you.” I bite the shell of his ear and he moans, the sound muffled by my hand. “You fucking don’t. Just know that I’ll slaughter anyone you let near you and fuck you in their blood.”
If I didn’t know it before, then I’m sure now. I’ll never enjoy fucking again if it isn’t with him. He fucking broke me. Literally and figuratively.
He obviously loves him.
“You know, that’s your problem, Bran. You always assume things about me instead of fucking talking to me. It’s a nasty habit that needs to go.” He holds my gaze with his identical one. “I wouldn’t be the same without you, either, twat. You’re part of me.”
You’re part of me. That means I’m critical of you like I’m critical of myself. I see your safety as my own, sometimes even more so because you tend to think of others’ comfort more than your own.
“Society can go fuck itself,” Dad says. “What’s important is you. As long as you’re comfortable in your own skin, everyone else can fuck off. If they say anything, I’ll drag them through enough courts to make them wish they’d never crossed your path.”
“Uh…so…remember Killian?” His lips part. “Please don’t tell me you’re with your sister’s boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend?” “What? No. Of course not, Dad.” “Ew, Levi.” Mum smacks his hand. “Fine, okay.” He releases a breath. “It can’t be worse than that.” “He’s his cousin.” “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Dad’s face literally pales and I kind of feel bad for him. He’s been dealing with Lan his whole life, then he had Kill, who’s also a diagnosed psychopath, and I don’t think he’s even processed that. “Please tell me he’s the levelheaded cousin who keeps him in check.” “To be honest, and I can’t believe I’m
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I love Levi!
“I approve of Lan protecting his siblings.”
“That’s not the fucking point!” “Then what is?” “The fact that you kidnapped him and beat him up in the first place.” “He had it coming when he messed with my fucking sister.” “You were messing with his fucking brother!” “I never forced you.” “And you think he forced her? If you weren’t so up your own arse, you would’ve seen the way she looks at him. She loves him, Nikolai. She’s in love with him. And you might not want to believe this, but he loves her, too, in his own fucked-up way.”
“You mean to tell me you were in the same room with Lan and didn’t punch him?” “I would’ve loved to.” “Then why didn’t you? I’m pretty sure your punch-first-think-later mentality wasn’t the reason you restrained yourself.” “No, it wasn’t. But I knew if I hurt him again, I’d lose you, and that’s not a fucking option.”
“Don’t even think about touching me.” “You’re the one who’s doing that. Can’t keep your hands off me, baby?” “I’m pushing you away.” “Still counts. Mmm. I missed the feel of your skin on mine.” “You’re fucking crazy.” “About you. Always.”
“I still don’t like it. I hate the very idea of hurting you, even unintentionally. I was haunted for weeks by the sight of the blood that gushed out of your nose. I’m so sorry. I’ll never let myself do that again. That night in front of the Elites’ mansion was enough proof that I had no control and was capable of hurting you. Also, I could never pretend you don’t exist, motherfucker. You’re everywhere like goddamn air.”
“You don’t get to hide from me and demand to know me. You don’t get to bury yourself six feet deep and think you can still read me like a book. If I’m splitting myself open for you and allowing you to see parts of me no one else is privy to, you need to do the same. You owe me that fucking much.”
He's not wrong .
“Don’t you fucking dare walk away from me or ghost me. I don’t give a fuck if you’re on a high or a murder spree. I couldn’t care less if you hurt me. You don’t come to me when you’re only okay, you come to me at all times. Am I fucking understood?” I lick his bottom lip then bite down. “You don’t hide from me, either. I want you raw. Am I fucking clear?”
First I get a psycho son. Okay, fine. Love that. Best challenge of my life and pretty sure I passed it. I didn’t need to have my daughter with a psycho boyfriend. And now, it’s the psycho’s psycho fucking cousin. What the fuck have I done to deserve that? Was I a mass murderer in a past life or something?
“Oh, I’m sorry. I was supposed to be fucking glaring,” I say loud enough for everyone to hear.
“It was at a…” Bran trails off. “Party.” Nikolai smirks. “Yes. A party. I was all over him in no time.” “You were what?” I snap. “I mean.” His smirk disappears. “I was the one who noticed him first.”
Lmao.
“I like that he’s responsible, punctual, takes all of his engagements seriously, steps up for justice, and helps in every way possible. I like his cooking, his rare smiles, and how dedicated he is to running and staying healthy. I like making him laugh and, eh, watching him sleep. I like how he’s fully concentrated when he’s in the art studio, but most of all, I like how he let me into his life and made a place for me there. I even like the boring Agatha Christie movie adaptations now, not because they’re any good, but because he’s truly obsessed with that shi—I mean, stuff. I even like his
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He’s in love with him. It’s not a crush, mere admiration, or a fling. My son is fully, truly, and irrevocably in love with the gangster.
“It’s impossible to stay away from him. Believe me, I’ve tried. Multiple times. Each time, it only got harder, not easier, and I really can’t imagine my life without him in it anymore. I hurt him enough by denying my sexuality and him. He was patient and even agreed to see me in secret although he’s openly bi. I can’t hurt him anymore, that would be worse than causing pain to myself. The idea of losing him scares the shit out of me, Dad.”
I never thought so many tattoos could be so sexy until Nikolai. But then again, it might be because the tattoos are on him. I seem to be irrevocably drawn to everything about him
“Your dad, remember? I don’t want to be on his shit list more than I already am.”
“Even if he doesn’t, it’s my mission to make him like me.” “Why would you do that?” “Because he’s your dad and you obviously care about him,”
“I have every right to gloat, baby.” He wraps an arm around my waist and presses me close to his hard chest. “I didn’t think you were so into me that you told your parents about me. Now, you’re even thinking about telling other members of the family.” “I’m not so into you.” “Baby, you came out to your parents and introduced me to them. If that’s not into me, I don’t know what is.”
“I don’t want to hide you, Nikolai. I also told Glyn and my friends about us.” “You…did?” “A couple of weeks back, yeah. You’re not my dirty secret, and for the record, I was never ashamed of you.”
“You are mine, Niko.”
My hands freeze as I study the artistic patterns of the lotus flower and make out the elegant font beneath it that reads Property of B. King. He had it inked on the spot that he said was for something special.
“Because this means I love the fucking shit out of you, baby. I can’t live without you and you’re not allowed to leave me.”
