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“Of course I would. I’m his twin brother. What’s the use of being labeled a genius if I couldn’t save the one person who matters?”
As long as he comes back, I’ll murder his demons one by one until he’s ready to look in the mirror again. Until he forgives himself for something that was not his fault.
“Sorry doesn’t bring back the years you took from him.” I speak for the first time. “Sorry doesn’t give him back the blood he fucking lost tonight!”
She screams so loud, Dad shows up at the doorway, but he doesn’t make a move. No, he just watches his son and his future son-in-law take the life of a woman and smiles.
don’t believe in justice. I believe in fucking vengeance. And this woman signed her death warrant the moment she touched my Bran.
One demon down. A dozen more to go.
I single-handedly crushed them because I couldn’t be strong enough.
“Fuck that. I don’t need it or my whole career as long as I have you, Bran. I need you to know that.”
“I think I need help. Please help me get better.”
I want to finally give fifteen-year-old me what he always wanted—justice—and hope that one day, he’ll forgive me.
But that’s the thing about hope, it exists to be crushed.
“You’re going to punch me for daring to hurt your identical twin?” I try to joke to break the tension.
“I’d kill for you, I’d shoot myself if that makes you breathe better without me shadowing you, but I’d never…ever hurt you, Bran.”
“I love you, little bro,” he whispers. “I need you to know that. I need you to know you’re the first person I loved unconditionally and always will. I might annoy you, might act like a dick to get your attention, but that’s only because the thought of losing you scares the living fuck out of me.”
“How could you try to leave me? Don’t you know I can’t live without you anymore?”
but you came along and tamed my demons. You balance me. You complete me. You’re fucking in me.
I love you, lotus flower, and that means I’ll be by your side during all of your battles with your demons. I’ll kill them for you if you let me. I’ll listen to them if you want me to. But I’ll never leave you, so you’re stuck with me.”
Falling for you was effortless and final. I thought I was unworthy of you, I fought myself to be with you, but it was pointless. I never loved myself the way I love you, baby.”
“Does that mean you’re mine now?” “I think I always have been.”
I told him a relationship is being there for each other through the bad and the good. I won’t take while he gives—that’s not how this works.
He never really hated him, but after he saved me during that black day, Dad gained an immense sense of respect for my man.
“I’m lucky you allowed me in your life.” Kiss. “I’m lucky you love me.” Kiss.
“I’m lucky you’re letting me fight your demons with you.”
This is the first and last tattoo I’ll ever get, since I’m absolutely not a fan of pricking my skin anymore, but I had to ink him on the heart that beats because he exists.
“Remember when you told me to tell you something in Russian?” “You said I was cute.”
“No. I said ‘I can’t live without you,’ and we take that quite literally in Russia.” “Aw, Nikolai.” “Point is, I love the loving fuck out of you, baby.” “I love the loving fuck out of you, too.”
I continue laughing even as I look in the mirror. Because for the first time, I don’t see a lonely boy there. I don’t even see the healing twenty-four-year-old version of me.
For the first time, I don’t see the past or the present. I see my future with the most infuriating enigma. The most chaotic person on earth. And the love of my fucking life.
Sometimes, he whispers he loves me before he falls asleep in my arms, and I spend the entire night watching his face just to make sure it’s true.
He’s always fixing me up, my lotus flower, whether physically or emotionally.
“The rest of our lives, huh, baby?” He nods, lips curling into the most gorgeous smile. “The rest of our lives, baby.”
“I wouldn’t have it with anyone but you.”
I love this man with everything I have and don’t have. I love him with my sane and insane parts. He’s my lotus flower. My Prince Charming. The love of my life. Mine.
