More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
by abolishing any chance of being bored we have also lost the time we used to have to think and process.
the faster and busier things get, the more we need to build thinking time into our schedule. And the noisier things get, the more we need to build quiet reflection spaces in which we can truly focus.
WHERE IS THE KNOWLEDGE WE HAVE LOST IN INFORMATION? —T. S. Eliot
Being a journalist of your own life will force you to stop hyperfocusing on all the minor details and see the bigger picture.
In the chaos of the modern workplace, with so many loud voices all around us pulling us in many directions, it is more important now than ever that we learn to resist the siren song of distraction and keep our eyes and ears peeled for the headlines.
Play doesn’t just help us to explore what is essential. It is essential in and of itself.
If we underinvest in ourselves, and by that I mean our minds, our bodies, and our spirits, we damage the very tool we need to make our highest contribution.
growing body of research demonstrating that a good night’s sleep actually makes us more productive, not less.
Think about this: we would never say, ‘This person is a great worker! He’s drunk all the time!’ yet we continue to celebrate people who sacrifice sleep for
While sleep is often associated with giving rest to the body, recent research shows that sleep is really more about the brain.
Sleep will enhance your ability to explore, make connections, and do less but better throughout your waking hours.
In a piece called “No More Yes. It’s Either HELL YEAH! Or No,” the popular TED speaker Derek Sivers describes a simple technique for becoming more selective in the choices we make.
You can think of this as the 90 Percent Rule, and it’s one you can apply to just about every decision or dilemma. As you evaluate an option, think about the single most important criterion for that decision, and then simply give the option a score between 0 and 100. If you rate it any lower than 90 percent, then automatically change the rating to 0 and simply reject it.
By definition, applying highly selective criteria is a trade-off; sometimes you will have to turn down a seemingly very good option and have faith that the perfect option will soon come
when our selection criteria are too broad, we will find ourselves committing to too many options.
Making our criteria both selective and explicit affords us a systematic tool for discerning what is essential and filtering out the things that are not.
If it isn’t a clear yes, then it’s a clear no
no.
ask three questions: “What am I deeply passionate about?” and “What taps my talent?” and “What meets a significant need in the world?”
the question you should be asking yourself is not: “What, of my list of competing priorities, should I say yes to?” Instead, ask the essential question: “What will I say no to?”
Such vague, inflated mission statements may still be considered “best practice” in some quarters, but in many cases they do not achieve what they were intended to achieve: to inspire their employees with a clear sense of purpose.
The fact is, motivation and cooperation deteriorate when there is a lack of purpose.
When there is a serious lack of clarity about what the team stands for and what their goals and roles are, people experience confusion, stress, and frustration. When there is a high level of clarity, on the other hand, people thrive. When there is a lack of clarity, people waste time and energy on the trivial many. When they have sufficient levels of clarity, they are capable of greater breakthroughs and innovations—greater than people even realize they ought to have—in those areas that are truly vital.
when people don’t know what the end game is, they are unclear about how to win, and as a result they make up their own game and their own rules as they vie for the manager’s favor. Instead of focusing their time and energies on making a high level of contribution, they put all their effort into games like attempting to look better than their peers, demonstrating their self-importance, and echoing their manager’s every idea or sentiment.
With no clear direction, people pursue the things that advance their own short-term interests, with little awareness of how their activities contribute to (or in some cases, derail) the long-term mission of the team as a whole.
An essential intent doesn’t have to be elegantly crafted; it’s the substance, not the style that counts. Instead, ask the more essential question that will inform every future decision you will ever make: “If we could be truly excellent at only one thing, what would it be?”
A powerful essential intent inspires people partially because it is concrete enough to answer the question, “How will we know when we have succeeded?”
So why is it so hard in the moment to dare to choose what is essential over what is nonessential? One simple answer is we are unclear about what is essential. When this happens we become defenseless.
In virtually every instance, clarity about what is essential fuels us with the strength to say no to the nonessentials.
learn to say no firmly, resolutely, and yet gracefully. Because once we do, we find, not only that our fears of disappointing or angering others were exaggerated, but that people actually respect us more.
Of course, the point is not to say no to all requests. The point is to say no to the nonessentials so we can say yes to the things that really matter.
we forget that denying the request is not the same as denying the person. Only once we separate the decision from the relationship can we make a clear decision and then separately find the courage and compassion to communicate it.
The more we think about what we are giving up when we say yes to someone, the easier it is to say no.
MAKE YOUR PEACE WITH THE FACT THAT SAYING “NO” OFTEN REQUIRES TRADING POPULARITY FOR RESPECT
REMEMBER THAT A CLEAR “NO” CAN BE MORE GRACEFUL THAN A VAGUE OR NONCOMMITTAL “YES”
a clear “I am going to pass on this” is far better than not getting back to someone or stringing them along with some noncommittal answer like “I will try to make this work” or “I might be able to” when you know you can’t.
Below are eight responses you can put in your “no” repertoire.
1. The awkward pause.
2. The soft “no” (or the “no but”).
3. “Let me check my calendar and get back to you.”
7. Use the words “You are welcome to X. I am willing to Y.”
HALF OF THE TROUBLES OF THIS LIFE CAN BE TRACED TO SAYING YES TOO QUICKLY AND NOT SAYING NO SOON ENOUGH. —Josh Billings
Sunk-cost bias is the tendency to continue to invest time, money, or energy into something we know is a losing proposition simply because we have already incurred, or sunk, a cost that cannot be recouped.
An Essentialist has the courage and confidence to admit his or her mistakes and uncommit, no matter the sunk costs.
“the endowment effect,” our tendency to undervalue things that aren’t ours and to overvalue things because we already own them.
When we feel we “own” an activity, it becomes harder to uncommit.
“If I did not have this opportunity, how much would I be willing to sacrifice in order to obtain it?” Similarly, we can ask, “If I wasn’t already involved in this project, how hard would I work to get on it?”
It’s natural not to want to let go of what we wasted on a bad choice, but when we don’t, we doom ourselves to keep wasting even more.
ADMIT FAILURE TO BEGIN SUCCESS
There should be no shame in admitting to a mistake; after all, we really are only admitting that we are now wiser than we once were.
