Extra Focus: The Quick Start Guide to Adult ADHD

by Jesse J. Anderson

To everyone who was told they were just lazy.

So many of my “personality quirks” turned out to be extremely common in people with ADHD: the way I struggled with motivation the way I constantly started new hobbies, only to abandon them soon after the way I was always late to everything, no matter how hard I tried the way new and interesting things constantly distracted me the way I often forgot small but important details the way I was extremely sensitive to rejection the way boredom felt absolutely excruciating the way my emotions often felt intense and beyond my control the way I procrastinated on anything that wasn’t immediately gratifying or fun

It was the reason every teacher said I was “gifted” but wasn’t reaching my potential, or I was “a joy to have in class” but kept getting in my own way. Or why I had been called lazy, crazy, spacey, stupid, selfish, and other terrible names for a child to hear.

I was often ashamed of the way my brain worked and how my actions never seemed to line up with my intentions.

Rather than characterizing those with ADHD as having an attention deficit, it would be far more accurate to say they have a dysregulation of attention.

Some people with ADHD say they experience hyperactivity more on the inside of their brain, even when they seem perfectly calm from the outside.

With hyperfocus, there’s often a feeling of compulsion and completionism.

When you’ve experienced productive hyperfocus, you may think that level of productivity is your norm and anything less is a failure.

Rewards and consequences that are immediate can sometimes motivate, but delayed rewards don’t really motivate us at all.

He theorizes that while most people have an importance-based nervous system, people with ADHD have an interest-based nervous system. They primarily find motivation through interest, novelty, challenge, and urgency.

The 4 Cs Captivate (interest) Create (novelty) Compete (challenge) Complete (urgency)

Captivate: how can I make it interesting? Create: how can I make it creative or novel? Compete: how can I make it competitive or challenging? Complete: how can I make its completion feel urgent?

ADHD brains are fascinated by the new and novel, and repelled by the boring and ordinary.

Get yourself out of a motivation rut by changing your current environment or finding a new one.

Find side quests that can propel you forward when you’re stuck and create momentum toward your goal.

People with ADHD have a complicated relationship with time. We don’t seem to perceive it the same way as most neurotypical people.

A 2023 review on ADHD and time perception shows that people with ADHD have significant difficulties with time estimation.

Learn to say no gracefully: Avoid overcommitting by “guarding your yes” and not agreeing to every new opportunity.

Create time-based goals rather than outcome-based ones: Use time-based goals, rather than outcome-based ones, so you can celebrate success even when you don’t completely finish a task in the time you have available.

Make micro-commitments: Propel yourself into motion by making a micro-commitment—a fast and eas...

Use visual timers: Use visual timers to keep you on track as time passes and to generate urgency that will help ...

Keep a historical time log: Use a stopwatch or timer app to record your travel times to make bet...

Turn Waiting Mode into Thinking Mode: When stuck in Waiting Mode, write out your thoughts to help clarify your...

Do something fun: Alternatively, when you’re stuck in Waiting Mode, try to embrace doing something fun instead of just ...

Make it obvious: Make important tasks obvious and visible so you don’t forget about t...

Set up reminders: Create reminders to help you keep track ...

Get a (good) app: Using apps and tools with customizable notifications can help you manage your organization and stay on top of your tasks and responsibilities.

Make it convenient: Make important information convenient, visible, and easily accessible so they are more likely to be remembered.

Make it visual: Keep important reminders literally in your sights so you’re more likely t...

Create an action anchor: Use action anchors, objects associated with an action you want to take, as environ...

Double-checking beats reworking: Double-check your assumptions about a project or task to ensure you fully understand ...

Make it permanent: Create a permanent record by writing things down so you can reference...

Use drop zones and launch pads: Use launch pads placed in consistently used drop zones to store essential items and ensure you ...

Count on it: To build a routine, name it and its associated number of tasks—then say both out loud to...

Harvard psychiatrist Michael S. Jellinek has estimated that children with ADHD may receive 20,000 more corrective or negative comments than their peers by the age of ten.

Imposter syndrome is compounded for people with ADHD because we have a hard time remembering our successes. Even if we do remember them, we often dismiss and discount them by comparing them to our biggest failures.

It really wasn’t until I learned about my ADHD that I began to get better control over my emotional responses.

The intensity of emotions people with ADHD experience can be a blessing and a curse.

People with ADHD are often crushed by the weight of shame.

When life is busy, it’s easy to forget that we need to take care of ourselves.

Drink plenty of water, shower regularly, get enough physical activity, eat nutritious meals, and get adequate rest.

Many people with ADHD find themselves driven by impulse.

Difficulties with memory and time already affect your hindsight and foresight. But when you suffer from impulsivity, you often make things worse by acting so fast you don’t even let whatever limited hindsight and foresight you do have weigh into your decisions.

Create a smile file: Create a smile file of wins and accomplishments you can refer to, replacing your negative soundtrack with indisputable proof of your achievements.

Expand your vocabulary of emotions: Expand your vocabulary of emotions to better understand the nuances of each emotion and improve how you respond to them.

Use a mood journal: Using a journal or app to track and reflect on changes in your mood can help you better understand what’s happening in...

Create some space: Creating space can help you gain a healthier perspective o...

Remember the past relationship: When conflict arises with someone, take a step back. Compare your history with the person to see if your stron...

Find your reset: Find those experiences that recharge...

Write out your thoughts and feelings: Journaling can provide clarity and help you identify negative thought patterns by allowing you to observe you...