Red, White & Royal Blue

by Casey McQuiston

resting an overly friendly elbow on Henry’s shoulder, which isn’t as easy as he’d like it to be since Henry has about four infuriating inches of height on him.

but the minute you see a camera, you act like the sun shines out of his dick, and you make it convincing.”

If somebody asks about him, I want to hear you gush like he’s your fucking prom date.”

The hosts of This Morning are agonizingly British—a middle-aged woman named Dottie in a tea dress and a man called Stu who looks as if he spends weekends yelling at mice in his garden.

omfg, one commenter writes, make out already.

“Oh, I fucking hate you!” Alex shouts as Henry laughs at his own idiotic prank, and his indignant flailing startles a loud gobble out of Cornbread, which in turn startles a very unmanly scream out of Alex. “Goddammit! Did you hear that?”

The phrase “see attached bibliography” is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me.

and I couldn’t let a fucking predator be the most powerful man in the country if it was within my power to stop it.”