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there’s a strange girl bond between them he can’t, and knows he isn’t supposed to, translate.
whore house core
“Let’s get it over with.” “I’d rather be waterboarded,”
OMG just kiss and get it over with
what kind of garbage country eats bland beans on white toast for breakfast?
RIGHT?!?
“I’m sensing an ellipsis.” “It’s just…”
you sensed correctly
“Ewoks are iconic.” “Ewoks are stupid.” “But Endor.” “But Hoth.
nerds
omfg, one commenter writes, make out already.
and the commenter was ME
Alex ducks out of an aggressive come-on by a girl from the new Spider-Man movies
ZENDAYA?!!
It’s an equation he is not nearly sober enough to parse.
alex + henry = in love
Like, he’s pretty sure he’s straight.
you sure about that
How was he supposed to know back then if he wanted to look like other guys, or if he wanted other guys?
both babe
Straight people, he thinks, probably don’t spend this much time convincing themselves they’re straight.
DING DING DING
Hey, you know how you’re always joking about dating June? Well, like, what if I dated a guy? Not that he wants to date Henry. At all. Ever. But just, like, hypothetically.
"hypothetically" my ass
“Seventy-eight percent probability of latent bisexual tendencies. One hundred percent probability this is not a hypothetical question.”
nora has him CLOCKED
Mutually satisfying sexual experiences do not a relationship make.
but it's gonna
Henry is twenty-three and Alex is twenty-one.
cougar
“You want me to quit politics and go become a princess? That’s not very feminist of you.”
“Oh, no … he’s … so … hot…” “I know, babe,” Nora yells back. “I want to … put my fingers in his mouth…” she moans, sounding horrified.
get the alcohol away from her omg
“Bisexuality is truly a rich and complex tapestry,”
Through his throbbing hangover, he’s got a suspicion all these feelings are why he held off on fucking Henry for so long.
a little late to the party but he got there so
Yours in sexual frustration, Henry
oh these horny bitches
Henry sends back, You are a delinquent and a plague, and then, Please come?
they are so cute- i'm gonna jump off a building
“Awesome, fuckin’ love doing things out of spite,” he says without a hint of sarcasm,
girl me too
“It’s not Stanley Connor. It’s Rafael Luna.”
GAGGED- I HATE THAT BITCH I HATE HER
An hour ago, he got back: I don’t expect you to understand.
that'd piss me ALL the way off
The one after is: FEDERAL FUNDING, TRAVEL EXPENSES, BOOTY CALLS, AND YOU.
these are too funny
Have you ever read any of Alexander Hamilton’s letters to John Laurens?
stoppp
“I was looking for someone else. Handsome, petulant, short, not pleasant until after ten a.m.? Have you seen him?” “Fuck off, five-nine is average.”
Dear Thisbe, I wish there weren’t a wall. Love, Pyramus
“Alex, Thisbe and Pyramus both die at the end.”
There’s stuff to figure out. But way worse people with way bigger problems than me get elected all the time.”
could not be any truer
With me it is quite stark: I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal.
i feel so single omg
I’m there for whatever you decide you want to do, just, like, let me know if I need to start practicing gazing wistfully out the window, waiting for my love to return from the war.
dramatic girl
I miss you greatly dear. The nicest time of the day is when I write to you. You have a stormier time than I do but I miss you as much, I think.… Please keep most of your heart in Washington as long as I’m here for most of mine is with you!
literally them- how are these nerds finding these quotes?
He wants to set himself on fire, but he can’t afford for anyone to see him burn.
“Sería una mentira, porque no sería él.” It would be a lie, because it wouldn’t be him.
WHY ARE YOU SPILLING TO HIM ALEXXX
“Salud,” he mutters under his breath, and he unscrews the top.
the fact he's not already piss drunk is flooring me
Fucking shitting hell. He is so fucked. Henry is so fucked. And, Jesus Christ, his mother’s campaign is fucked, and his political career is fucked, and his ears are ringing, and he’s going to throw up.
that about sums it up
Be a man. Stand up and take responsibility. Fix this. For once in your life, don’t be a coward.”
eat shit and live philip
I don’t care. You can take your legacy and your decorum and you can shove it up your fucking arse, Philip. I’m done.”
FINALLY RIP PHILIP A NEW ONE
“Plus, we banged it out last night.” Without looking up, Shaan meets her hand in a high five.
power couple
Why you have chosen to undermine the hard work I’ve done to maintain the crown’s standing is beyond me, and why you seem set on disrupting my efforts to restore it by demanding I summit with some … boy”—here,
i'm already pissed off
My position is unchanged, dear: Your role in this family is to perpetuate our bloodline and maintain the appearance of the monarchy as the ideal of British excellence, and I simply cannot allow anything less.”
philip really is her grandson- they both suck ass
I can’t imagine people would be as eager to welcome you into children’s hospitals—”
oh no she did not-
“We could still do that.”
he said don't under estimate me, i WILL get this man pregnant
“The country simply will not accept a prince of his proclivities. I am sorry, dear, but to them, it’s perverse.” “Perverse to them or perverse to you?” Catherine asks her.
GAGGED
WORLDWIDE SUPPORT POURS IN FOR PRINCE HENRY AND FIRST SON OF US.
that's what i thought- "perverse" my ass
I wonder, if I were to mention those meetings you keep forgetting about, or the names of countries you can’t quite keep straight, if they might decide that forty-seven is perhaps enough years for the people of Britain to expect you to serve?”
average us senator
“You wouldn’t dare.” “Wouldn’t I, Mum? Would you like to find out?”
something tells me she would dare
“Madam President wants to see you in her office.” Her attention shifts, listening to her earpiece. “She says to bring the donuts.”
priorities
“Proof,” Nora says. And her voice is shaking now. “That Richards fucking set you up.”
shocked but also not because he's a slimy bitch
