Red, White & Royal Blue
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6%
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there’s a strange girl bond between them he can’t, and knows he isn’t supposed to, translate.
Melanie
whore house core
8%
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“Let’s get it over with.” “I’d rather be waterboarded,”
Melanie
OMG just kiss and get it over with
9%
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what kind of garbage country eats bland beans on white toast for breakfast?
Melanie
RIGHT?!?
11%
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“I’m sensing an ellipsis.” “It’s just…”
Melanie
you sensed correctly
12%
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“Ewoks are iconic.” “Ewoks are stupid.” “But Endor.” “But Hoth.
Melanie
nerds
13%
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omfg, one commenter writes, make out already.
Melanie
and the commenter was ME
23%
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Alex ducks out of an aggressive come-on by a girl from the new Spider-Man movies
Melanie
ZENDAYA?!!
24%
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It’s an equation he is not nearly sober enough to parse.
Melanie
alex + henry = in love
25%
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Like, he’s pretty sure he’s straight.
Melanie
you sure about that
25%
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How was he supposed to know back then if he wanted to look like other guys, or if he wanted other guys?
Melanie
both babe
26%
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Straight people, he thinks, probably don’t spend this much time convincing themselves they’re straight.
Melanie
DING DING DING
27%
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Hey, you know how you’re always joking about dating June? Well, like, what if I dated a guy? Not that he wants to date Henry. At all. Ever. But just, like, hypothetically.
Melanie
"hypothetically" my ass
27%
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“Seventy-eight percent probability of latent bisexual tendencies. One hundred percent probability this is not a hypothetical question.”
Melanie
nora has him CLOCKED
33%
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Mutually satisfying sexual experiences do not a relationship make.
Melanie
but it's gonna
36%
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Henry is twenty-three and Alex is twenty-one.
Melanie
cougar
41%
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“You want me to quit politics and go become a princess? That’s not very feminist of you.”
44%
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“Oh, no … he’s … so … hot…” “I know, babe,” Nora yells back. “I want to … put my fingers in his mouth…” she moans, sounding horrified.
Melanie
get the alcohol away from her omg
44%
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“Bisexuality is truly a rich and complex tapestry,”
46%
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Through his throbbing hangover, he’s got a suspicion all these feelings are why he held off on fucking Henry for so long.
Melanie
a little late to the party but he got there so
47%
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Yours in sexual frustration, Henry
Melanie
oh these horny bitches
48%
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Henry sends back, You are a delinquent and a plague, and then, Please come?
Melanie
they are so cute- i'm gonna jump off a building
49%
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“Awesome, fuckin’ love doing things out of spite,” he says without a hint of sarcasm,
Melanie
girl me too
51%
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“It’s not Stanley Connor. It’s Rafael Luna.”
Melanie
GAGGED- I HATE THAT BITCH I HATE HER
52%
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An hour ago, he got back: I don’t expect you to understand.
Melanie
that'd piss me ALL the way off
54%
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The one after is: FEDERAL FUNDING, TRAVEL EXPENSES, BOOTY CALLS, AND YOU.
Melanie
these are too funny
54%
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Have you ever read any of Alexander Hamilton’s letters to John Laurens?
Melanie
stoppp
59%
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“I was looking for someone else. Handsome, petulant, short, not pleasant until after ten a.m.? Have you seen him?” “Fuck off, five-nine is average.”
61%
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Dear Thisbe, I wish there weren’t a wall. Love, Pyramus
62%
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“Alex, Thisbe and Pyramus both die at the end.”
64%
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There’s stuff to figure out. But way worse people with way bigger problems than me get elected all the time.”
Melanie
could not be any truer
67%
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With me it is quite stark: I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal.
Melanie
i feel so single omg
67%
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I’m there for whatever you decide you want to do, just, like, let me know if I need to start practicing gazing wistfully out the window, waiting for my love to return from the war.
Melanie
dramatic girl
67%
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I miss you greatly dear. The nicest time of the day is when I write to you. You have a stormier time than I do but I miss you as much, I think.… Please keep most of your heart in Washington as long as I’m here for most of mine is with you!
Melanie
literally them- how are these nerds finding these quotes?
72%
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He wants to set himself on fire, but he can’t afford for anyone to see him burn.
72%
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“Sería una mentira, porque no sería él.” It would be a lie, because it wouldn’t be him.
Melanie
WHY ARE YOU SPILLING TO HIM ALEXXX
73%
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“Salud,” he mutters under his breath, and he unscrews the top.
Melanie
the fact he's not already piss drunk is flooring me
74%
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Fucking shitting hell. He is so fucked. Henry is so fucked. And, Jesus Christ, his mother’s campaign is fucked, and his political career is fucked, and his ears are ringing, and he’s going to throw up.
Melanie
that about sums it up
78%
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Be a man. Stand up and take responsibility. Fix this. For once in your life, don’t be a coward.”
Melanie
eat shit and live philip
79%
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I don’t care. You can take your legacy and your decorum and you can shove it up your fucking arse, Philip. I’m done.”
Melanie
FINALLY RIP PHILIP A NEW ONE
79%
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“Plus, we banged it out last night.” Without looking up, Shaan meets her hand in a high five.
Melanie
power couple
80%
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Why you have chosen to undermine the hard work I’ve done to maintain the crown’s standing is beyond me, and why you seem set on disrupting my efforts to restore it by demanding I summit with some … boy”—here,
Melanie
i'm already pissed off
80%
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My position is unchanged, dear: Your role in this family is to perpetuate our bloodline and maintain the appearance of the monarchy as the ideal of British excellence, and I simply cannot allow anything less.”
Melanie
philip really is her grandson- they both suck ass
80%
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I can’t imagine people would be as eager to welcome you into children’s hospitals—”
Melanie
oh no she did not-
80%
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“We could still do that.”
Melanie
he said don't under estimate me, i WILL get this man pregnant
80%
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“The country simply will not accept a prince of his proclivities. I am sorry, dear, but to them, it’s perverse.” “Perverse to them or perverse to you?” Catherine asks her.
Melanie
GAGGED
81%
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WORLDWIDE SUPPORT POURS IN FOR PRINCE HENRY AND FIRST SON OF US.
Melanie
that's what i thought- "perverse" my ass
81%
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I wonder, if I were to mention those meetings you keep forgetting about, or the names of countries you can’t quite keep straight, if they might decide that forty-seven is perhaps enough years for the people of Britain to expect you to serve?”
Melanie
average us senator
81%
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“You wouldn’t dare.” “Wouldn’t I, Mum? Would you like to find out?”
Melanie
something tells me she would dare
82%
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“Madam President wants to see you in her office.” Her attention shifts, listening to her earpiece. “She says to bring the donuts.”
Melanie
priorities
83%
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“Proof,” Nora says. And her voice is shaking now. “That Richards fucking set you up.”
Melanie
shocked but also not because he's a slimy bitch
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