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“You’re a dumbass. Love you.”
Ok yes love that mom, madam president
Under HOBBIES, it lists polo and competitive yachting.
wtf
94% probability of your dick becoming a recurring personality on face the nation.
😂
She’s certain he was the one who vandalized the sign outside one particular senator’s office to read BITCH MCCONNELL, but she’ll never prove it.
Oh that’s good
“Wait,” she says, reaching for his phone again, “are you watching videos of Justin Trudeau speaking French again?” “That’s not a thing I do!”
🤣
Please send photos, is Henry’s idea of a comforting response.
“Jesus Christ, it’s like they can see into your soul. Cornbread knows my sins, Henry. Cornbread knows what I have done, and he is here to make me atone.”
He’s talking about a turkey, guys 🤣
“It’s just so soothing,” Henry says. “Everything’s all pastel-colored and the music is so relaxing and everyone’s so lovely to one another. And you learn so much about different types of biscuits, Alex. So much. When the world seems awful, such as when you’re trapped in a Great Turkey Calamity, you can put it on and vanish into biscuit land.” “American cooking competition shows are nothing like that. They’re all sweaty and, like, dramatic death music and intense camera cuts,” Alex says. “Bake Off makes Chopped look like the fucking Manson tapes.”
Yes!!! I couldn’t relate any more!!
HRH Prince Dickhead Dec 8, 2019, 8:53 PM yo there’s a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe HRH Prince Dickhead I BEG YOU TO NOT
Like, he’s pretty sure he’s straight.
Not anymore 😌
Straight people, he thinks, probably don’t spend this much time convincing themselves they’re straight.
Yup
“And then you are going to come to the East Bedroom on the second floor at eleven o’clock tonight, and I am going to do very bad things to you, and if you fucking ghost me again, I’m going to get you put on a fucking no-fly list. Got it?”
🥵
“You have so much in you, it’s almost impossible to match it. But he’s your match, dumbass.”
Aww best sister 🤍
“Dude … you don’t honestly think Texas can go blue, do you? It’s one of the most backward states in the country.”
Heard!!!
The phrase “see attached bibliography” is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me.
Should I tell you that when we’re apart, your body comes back to me in dreams? That when I sleep, I see you, the dip of your waist, the freckle above your hip, and when I wake up in the morning, it feels like I’ve just been with you, the phantom touch of your hand on the back of my neck fresh and not imagined? That I can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache? That, for a few moments, I can hold my breath and be back there with you, in a dream, in a thousand rooms, nowhere at all?
My god 😮💨
They waste away the morning in bed, watching Mel and Sue squawk over tea cakes on Henry’s laptop, listening to the rain slow to a drizzle.
Omg the best kind of morning 🥺
(By the way, in this relationship, I am absolutely the Han and you are absolutely the Leia. Don’t try to argue because you’ll be wrong.)
I really wanna see a member of the royal family wait in line for hours to eat cow parts.
When you put it that way 😂
but only you and I will know that I’m just sprawled in your bed, reading books and feeding myself profiteroles and making love to you endlessly until we both expire in a haze of chocolate sauce. It’s how I’d want to go.
God I love their banter
I’m there for whatever you decide you want to do, just, like, let me know if I need to start practicing gazing wistfully out the window, waiting for my love to return from the war.
“It’s about to be gay DEFCON five in this administration.
I love him, with all that, because of all that. On purpose. I love him on purpose.”
I love that
love is indomitable.
♥️
Texas is gray for five more seconds, before flooding beautiful, beautiful, unmistakable Lake LBJ blue.
God I wish this was reality
